Deliberate Craziness

I’ve been busy…inside my head.  Yes, we’ve had a major remodeling in one of our rooms that took over two weeks.  Yes, we’ve had guests come in and out, especially with a new phenomenal outdoor pizza oven.  Yes, I’ve been entertained in a new and wonderful relationship.  The busyness in my head has taken over full-time.  I haven’t been able to do my morning rituals as often as I normally do them.  I haven’t gone hiking in days.  I haven’t spent time playing outside in the creek picking up rocks and grounding myself.  The busyness in my head has been enough to keep me on a roller coaster ride.  I’ve created scenarios and drama that put a Broadway Show to shame.  I create my thoughts therefore I can delete them at any time.  Deliberate craziness doesn’t suite me!  It disrupts me in too many ways.

Yesterday I was returning from a short trip.  The plane was relatively full of great energy as opposed to the craziness I faced on Thursday evening.  Across from me there was this South American couple who had brought their child to Disney World.  They had the stuff animals, the t-shirts, and an array of endorsements coming out from the bottom of their seats.  The man sat in the middle; the woman sat on the aisle seat; and the little boy against the window.  I observed them for quite a while.   The manner in which they spoke to each other was terribly endearing.  South American couples have a way of speaking very proper Spanish that put us Caribbean folks to shame.  Their language and gestures are always slow and gentle.  It would be similar to listening to an English couple as opposed to an American one.

Couple on plane

At some point the woman found a nook against her husband and went to sleep.  Now, the sleeping part is common on a plane.  I had a lady snoring next to me.  The gentleness that came over this couple made me tear up.  He held his wife in a very loving manner while reading a magazine and still entertaining his son.  This is when I left my head.  I gave up with trying to figure anything else out.  I just took a picture with my phone and closed my eyes (and no, I am not into voyeurism but it was a very tender moment that needed further documentation).  I drifted for a little while.  I had to get the hell out of my intimate thoughts.  I was determined to give myself that gentleness that the woman found in her husband.  Even driving the hour and a half home from the airport I focused on the mountains, my breathing, and being gentle with my thoughts.

Busyness is habitual.  I know it well.  I also know when it’s time to get back to simplicity.  I returned to our retreat center to a wonderful lunch made by my best friend, joined by another amazing friend.  We sat outside for hours on the dock and talked.  Oh, it was a lovely afternoon.  No matter how far I go, how much I do, those intimate moments laughing with friends make the world a better place.  The busyness left me.  I was able to sleep peacefully last night.  I woke up to write extensively in my journal.  My candles have been lit, soft music plays in the background, and the earth is waking to another gorgeous mountain day.

Bobbie has a sign over the entrance of her front door, “Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”  I love my life.  I can’t imagine it any other way.  But the past few months have been on overdrive and I am ready to start slowing it again.  Making each moment count is important to me.  The busyness in my little head is not!  May you find a space in your busy life to slow down and enjoy the moments because life is created by YOU.

12 thoughts on “Deliberate Craziness

  1. Oh my Millie – this one for some reason just brought me to tears! I would have taken that photo just like you did — and not a voyeur either, but a believer that observation of life energy is one of our greatest teachers. We can learn a lot from your post today — I so understand! Much Love ~ and welcome back to the mindfulness – the stillness – the Love xo So enjoyed your post! Robyn

  2. unfetteredbs

    No matter how far I go, how much I do, those intimate moments laughing with friends make the world a better place… so very true Millie. As always — amazing post and filled with goodness

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