Intoxicating Muffles

 

Your call tonight pulled me

from deep slumber,

drunken muffles escaped the air

as you asked for my return

into a life I will never re-enter.

I liked you better

when I didn’t know you so well,

when I didn’t love you so deeply

for so many years.

Vulnerability drugged me

with humbleness

into a state of pity,

sorrow, and

accountability,

while I could not grab

the awakening world

that seemed so surreal,

as I, too, was muddled

from so many sleepless nights.

I lent an ear,

bit my tongue,

as you traveled a road

I no longer recognize

as the landscape changed drastically

in the past few years.

This is no longer the “us”

in these stories

created by the effects of intoxication.

And, still I questioned

my reasons for remaining

on the line…

as if my lifeline would pull

you out of hell —

regrets and remorse

that seem to be guiding you

back to my light.

You are a ghost that returns

every time my life is in order,

when I am content,

as if you smell happiness

through autumn winds

from so many miles away.

You want the assurance,

safety,

love and forgiveness,

that my life reflects.

Peace and joy

are birthed emotions without you.

I paid my dues,

eluded the darkness

of what “we” used to be.

I cannot return

even as you sobered up

and manipulated

the weak part of my heart.

I liked you much more

when I never met you,

when I never loved you….

 

 

“Thank God I found the GOOD in goodbye.” – Beyonce Knowles

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8 thoughts on “Intoxicating Muffles

  1. Very well reflected the way many of our dear ones cling to us in need of their times and try to brush aside the need for their awakening.They usually tend to pull us down from our way of compassion on the path of spirituality.Pity it is too see such people,for we lov ethem and want they should never suffer,we end helping and being wth those souls,I think that puts an end to their inward struggle.

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