The Hardest Job in the World

kidsOf all the jobs I’ve had in this lifetime the most difficult one (by far) has been motherhood.  I have worn many hats throughout the years from kissing booboo’s to holding the hand of a little one while in a hospital bed.  My children have challenged by intelligence, freedom, choices, and perceptions a million times over.  They have taught me how to be compassionate when I’ve wanted to snap.  They have taught me patience when I wanted to fix things immediately.  They have taught me to pick battles from one moment to the next.  Indeed, the most challenging job in the world is parenthood.  The FBI has nothing on motherhood.  It is M.B.I. (Mother Bureau of Investigation) and it requires being on-call 24/7.

I love hearing from other parents who have small rambunctious children.  They make the comments, “Thank God it gets easier as they get older.”  I laugh.  I used to think like that as well.  It DOES NOT get easier.  It gets productively more challenging with every passing year.  The more intelligence and scheming they acquire the more you are being pushed to test your parental skills.  Some days my IQ drops several points.  Other times I feel like Albert Einstein.

The hardest task as a mother is letting go while standing your ground.  Boundaries are never easy.  Kids will test, pull and push them to no avail.  One day I am the best mom in the world.  The next, I am the worst parent out there.  It comes with the territory.  I’m not here to be liked.  I am here to support, love, and have a safe haven for them to return when the world comes down on them.  They don’t need another BFF.  They need a parent to hold their hand when they hurt.  They need a shoulder to cry and be heard.  As I say around here, “You need a shower and a good meal.  Everything’s gonna be alright.”  I am here for the long haul with a great bathroom and a home-cooked meal.

Children are a breed of their own.  I believe that around twelve years of age (especially boys) a spaceship comes in the middle of the night, swaps your child with an alien and you don’t see him until around eighteen.  I can recall with most of my kids when they turned seventeen or eighteen standing in the middle of a conversation and saying, “Ahhhh, you are back, my child!  I’ve missed you so much.”  Just like that they return to being pretty normal.  They begin to hug and kiss and converse with you like no time has passed.

I woke today with heaviness about being a good mother.  This week has started out rather challenging.  It’s okay.  I get the ups and downs of this job.  I understand the rejections, avoidance, blame game, and so on.  I comprehend the state of hormonal imbalance passing through a teenager.  I also get that “mom’s not always right!”  What do I know?  I am living on top of a mountain escaping from the real world.  I also know that I shut down and don’t speak for days when I feel judged or ridiculed by my children.  The pain is never easy.  This is part of investing time in making sure they are safe.   It only takes a laugh to get me back to normal.  I just require some time to let ego take a backseat to the stupidity of an event.  I am always questioning my sanity, but I’m still here.

With each passing year (and child) I am learning that love is beyond reason.  It is a boomerang that returns time and time again when they need it.  Ultimately, I am their mother.  They might not like my rules or my opinions but they all know I am here for them.  They also know I give them the space needed to experience life through their own eyes.  I don’t have all the answers.  I only have one for sure:  I love them more than anything in the world.  They might not like me from time to time but unconditional love has passed on to them.  Witnessing the way they love others is the best return on this investment I could have ever imagined.  This makes motherhood priceless!

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13 thoughts on “The Hardest Job in the World

  1. Having seen many times — either in person or in your writings — how you are with your kids, I know that at some point each one of them will say “the older I get, the smarter my Mom gets”. You may not hear them say it, or even hear of them saying it; but trust me, they WILL say it. And, long after you’ve gone to your final reward, they will be reaching back in their minds to use your love & wisdom with their own kids. Just as I try to do when Jason challenges me in some way. Having a stepson is a challenge to my ego, to say the least, so I can understand your challenges to some degree. So far as I ‘ve seen, you’re doing an amazing job as a mother and mom. Love you bunches, my sister-friend!!!

  2. Millie – I have no doubt at all that you have been an amazing mother. I agree it is the hardest job – and one that sometimes feels lonely and scary… This part really rang true for me too: “The hardest task as a mother is letting go while standing your ground.” – it is such a fine line isn’t it? I agree also though in that there is no greater rewards than looking at your kids as they evolve and saying – I had something to do with that!!! So much Love dearest friend ~ x Robyn

    1. Thank you, dear friend. How are you? I appreciate the comforting words. It is a tough job but one I have enjoyed. Some days are betters than others. Take care of yourself. Thanks for stopping by!

      1. Nelson M.

        through my experience as the eldest child, bred from the magnificent millie, I can say without conviction, that you have been the greatest mother, friend, ally, listener and teacher. exceeding the ordinary protocol of a mother and transcending from a human, into a saint. these are not my words alone, but the shared words of any single person that has been fortunate enough to come in contact with you. you truly are a legend mother and if I don’t say it every single day, please know that I Iove you to the edges of the ever expanding universe and back. you are the greatest role model in my life and in my daily travels, I look to your wisdom and experience, in order to evaluate life in a more serene and gentle frame of mind. you’ve shown me how to forgive, love and spread compassion unto all forms of life.

        I have the greatest mother!

        your son,
        nelson

      2. My dear sweetheart,

        Because of you and your siblings I am the person sitting here today. You have taught me to be resilient, loving, compassionate and so many other facets of my personality. Thank YOU, my love. I am proud of each one of you for allowing me to be a guide in your life; for taking my words and teaching me many times in return that motherhood has little to do with ego but Divine spirit; and for allowing me to watch life through you as you spark magic out into the world. I love you more than my heart can hold.
        Your mother!

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