It has been over ten years since I’ve lived with another person other than my children. My ex and I co-inhabited on the weekends since we lived 300 miles apart the last six years of our relationship. Even then it was too much. He would spend a week at home and then leave back to South Florida allowing me to recuperate from the visit until the following weekend. The days were manipulated with phone conversations for work and such. I was never alone. Six children, animals, appointments, errands and a business left me depleted at the closing of each day. By the time he returned I was exhausted from running at full speed on a hamster wheel.
Matt has been moving in for weeks. Our space is limited. He’s so easy that I forget he’s here at all. He goes down to the basement to his newly created man-cave. How will we ever combine two houses into this small one is beyond me, but fitting two souls into this home is miraculously easy. With his move I have acquired a Great Dane name Titan who is expressing his massiveness very well throughout the house. And, we now have three cats instead of my outdoor mascot that everyone who visits our retreat center loves…Mystic.
There is a thing about finding the nucleus and harmony to all relationships. In the past all of mine have been forced and pushed into spaces with a sledge hammer while I grunt, “Damn it! Get in there!!! This…can…fit. I…will…make…it…fit… even if it kills me!” There has to be a common ground willing to expand at all times. And, for the first time EVER this relationship has evolved out of nowhere into a place full of surprises. I’ve never lived in such a small house before. I’ve never had to compromise with another over animals that cause me to sneeze all day long until my body finally gives up and accepts the environmental modifications. These things are minor. What I’ve found is that this man is considerate, loving, patient, hysterical, and psychologically equipped to deal with my over-the-top-unicorn-rider emotions. This Big Bang Theory Man can take one look at my hippie mannerisms and know, without me uttering a word, that there is something that needs to be addressed, handled, or hugged!
The union of two unlikely people fits like the Yin and Yang. It’s that easy! He gives me the space in the mornings to do my meditations since I gave up my prayer room in the basement for him to have a hobby and working space. I give him the moments he needs to be creative and play without me asking for the hundredth time, “Would you like something to eat? Do you need anything? Let’s take a hike at some point please….” How he puts up with me is beyond my understanding! We are both writers and our moods can fluctuate depending on what is brewing inside our heads. We co-exist in this tight building without really noticing the lack of movement because we exist in spirit as one. We are in the center together without feeling restrains. He knows I need to be tucked into bed (this is a new thing with me. In all my forty-five years I have never required a mate to spend time before I go to sleep). So, Matt lies with me as I drift into dreamland. He watches TV or plays on the computer next to me every so often talking about things, cracking a joke, or just touching me. In the morning I le
ave as he sleeps in. He’s a night owl; I am an early riser.
This union works unlike any other for me. What’s the secret? I like to believe it is the comfort of knowing he’s got my back and I have his. It’s our spirits acknowledging that we finally found home with one another. I don’t really know to be honest. I have always had my running shoes on ready to take off. With him I feel the comfort of knowing even if I tried to run he will run beside me until I get tired and return to the beginning. He takes no crap and calls me on mine. He is a no-nonsense-matter-of-fact personality. I am always trying to figure out what lessons the universe has for me and how love will change the freaking world. Because of that, we can laugh at our idiosyncrasies and eccentricities while learning to respect them. Unity is the conforming and agreement of differences in peace. This small house has swallowed us whole while teaching us to be in the moment. It helps that he makes me giggle like a school girl every day and night. It also helps that he’s so easy on the eyes…!