My boyfriend, Matt and I are eating lunch. The conversation turns from one subject into another. I don’t know how we got into past relationships. I think it was after the call from my ex about his daughter that triggered how we ended up with certain people. He shakes his head in disbelief that I was with this certain “character.” Now that I am not with him I find him harmless and rather amusing at times. There is no emotional connection so I can step back and contemplate without anger. I say that those folks serve a purpose for teaching us so much. We can’t undo the past. No way, no how! The only thing we can do is move forward into a place of truth and love.
Matt started to discuss the issues with his ex-wife years ago and the overwhelming expectation that he could never meet. “Babe, she just wanted Jesus in a pair of jeans! I could not amount to what she wanted….” I cut him off. We openly discuss the past. There is no need to hold back because the past brought us here. But, that specific phrase opened up more than a lesson about our stories. “Jesus in a pair of jeans.” Hmmm! I know I’ve asked many times “what would Jesus do” but this one…yeah I never heard before.
How many people are in false relationships or even searching for the “perfect person” with an unrealistic absorption that he/she will be just like Christ? She, his ex wife, was very involved in her church and faith. Unfortunately, she forgot one thing: there is no Jesus walking around in a pair of old jeans on earth. No matter what her husband did it wasn’t good enough. It didn’t coincide with the true lessons from the Bible. He wasn’t a cheater, or a wife beater, or had any vices other than drinking soda. She basically wanted Jesus with money but still remain down to earth. When she finally told him that she wanted a divorce it made him realize that no matter what he could’ve done it was never going to be enough. Her loss is my most treasured gain!
I come to think that in our society we are always expecting more than what is out there. We do it with jobs, children, spouses, challenges, etc. We want the Jesus of perfection to come save us. From my understanding she was a church woman but had little faith. There is a difference between religion and faith. I am a faithful person. I don’t belong to any organized religion. Does that make me a lesser Christian? I am spiritually following the beautiful lessons and principles of God: love, compassion, goodness, forgiveness, kindness, and truth (among many others). But, I also know that I am human. I make mistakes. I fall, I break, and I rise again because the Divine is very much part of my faith. I live through grace.
I avoid arguments or confrontations about religion. I know many who are very much involved in churches and exude hypocrisy as they leave every Sunday. Judgment, bigotry and intolerance overcome these individuals all pointing in the name of God. And, sadly, they all want to have Jesus in a pair of jeans with them. Guess what? Jesus is with each and every one of them when they walk out of the churches’ doors. He is there just like all the great masters who instill in each of us to learn and teach about love. One day you are the teacher, the next the student! We are here to learn. We aren’t here to live in perfection. What kind of world would it be? What would the point be if everything ran perfectly all the time?
I know Matt and I spoke about more things after that conversation. I can’t remember exactly what it was. Those words sat in me. I felt compassion for him at that moment. The worst thing in life is trying to prove yourself over and over but getting no reaction or satisfaction. This is the kindest man I’ve ever met. He is perfect for me. With his imperfections he brings out the best of mine and we challenge each other with words, love and compassion. He might not be Jesus in a pair of jeans but he is my teacher, lover and best friend. I stopped searching for the idea of Christ. I find Jesus in each person I meet every day. They are the light of God reflecting back to my spirit whether in a pair of jeans, leather jacket or rags.