…Until you walk in my shoes

love is the absenceWhenever I feel an attack I become a recluse.  My hermit ways grab a hold of me and I escape into a world of silence.  After releasing it writing about it comes natural.  Judgment has many complexities.  It is about our own intuition and perception.  It is also about wisdom, telltale, warnings and consultation.  Judgment is also painful, opinionating, deceitful and full of many false criticisms.  It can destroy relationships, friendships and anything it comes in contact within the umbrella of gossip.  We are all subject to it.  No one is exempted from it. And, this simple noun, with all its complexities, rises and grabs us hold.  We are forced to step back and re-evaluate, not only others but ourselves in the process of relating to them.

When we are emotionally unavailable life is a huge struggle.  We show the strength in our spirit as soon as the walls start to cave around us.  Strength is not shown in moments of comfort and happiness.  It appears in moments of trials and difficulties through the courage of letting go. Judgment and criticism are catalysts to stepping back and watching the ego take the lead.  Challenges push us to stay in hot water and brew to develop into something magically unavailable to us in other instances of our lives.  We become authentically in nature if we allow the self to live in honesty while honoring our truths.  The judgments from others can’t really hurt us if we are grounded in authenticity.  I always say out loud when I am making a point, “I know my truth!”  That knowing comes from divinity.

I believe that we learn through the challenges of feelings.  We are pushed to escape our egos and allow the Divine to help.  When things are going well we rarely go to Spirit.  It’s as if we need to find pain in order to fall on our knees and get closer to God.  It’s ironic.  The lower you are the higher you become.   Being emotionally honest allows the freedom to celebrate Spirit, the core essence of our being.   I find that the older I get the more emotionally available I become with myself.  I am not running.  I embrace the emotions, sometimes holding them too tightly to finally allowing them to subside.  My humanness craves for the liberation of principle.  I am accepting me in the perfection of being the best version of me there is in this world.

A few things I have learned from the vile of other’s opinions.  And, here are quotes that fit any situation that causes us to step into the uncertainty of criticism and how it affects us.  Unless you’ve walked in my shoes, you cannot know how I will react, and vice versa.

– “Do not wait for the last judgment. It comes every day.” – Albert Camus

– “People hasten to judge in order not to be judged themselves.” – Albert Camus

– “Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping them up.” – Jesse Jackson

– “We judge others instantly by their clothes, their cars, their appearance, their race, their education, their social status. The list is endless. What gets me is that most people decide who another person is before they have even spoken to them. What’s even worse is that these same people decide who someone else is, and don’t even know who they are themselves.” – Ashely Lorenzana

– “I am aware that I am less than some people prefer me to be, but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see.” – Douglas Pagels

– “Don’t judge a man by his opinions, but what his opinions have made of him.” – Georg Christoph Lichetenber

Sadly enough there’s no return from gossip and judgment.  Once it is out there it is difficult to deny it.  The only thing one must do is keep moving to the best of your own judgment.  All the great masters expressed that the secret to compassion is to turn the other cheek.   We must give thanks for those teachers who hurt us and push us to expand our hearts.  Our hearts have to break, pain has to be somewhat present, and then we grow.  I’ve come to realize that’s how it is with love and God.  There is such beauty in allowing the truth to come through our weakness.  The more we allow ourselves to feel the discomfort, the easier the journey becomes.  I vow to become more emotionally honest and speak up when the pain appears, when joy embraces me, and when Spirit speaks to me.  I wish you freedom as you gift yourself the ability to honor all emotions and live authentically.  Life is too short to pretend, hide, neglect and reject the emotional roads that lead to truth.  Judgment, or not, the choice is always yours…until you walk in my shoes I will not allow you to dictate my emotions.  Ultimately you are only responsible for one person…YOU!

7 thoughts on “…Until you walk in my shoes

  1. I love reading your blog. When reading today I was reminded of a story that taught me a great lesson about gossip. I’ll share it with you.

    One day, a woman had entered the confessional and had asked for God’s forgiveness.
    “What have you done, my daughter?” asked the priest.
    “I have sinned. I cannot stop myself from gossiping about the neighbors and spreading rumors about them. Today, I have realized my sin, and I want to confess and ask for the Lord’s forgiveness.”
    “Not so fast, my daughter,” replied the priest. “First, you must return home and take a pillow stuffed with feathers, cut it open with a knife, take it up to the roof, and throw the feathers into the wind. When you’re done, come back to me.”
    The woman left the church, went home, and did what the priest had told her to do. The next day, she came back to the priest, and said to him: “Father, I’ve done what you’ve asked.”
    “Good,” he said. “Now, gather all of the feathers that are flying about, and bring them to me.”
    “But that can’t be done! It’s impossible” said the woman.
    “Why is it impossible?” asked the priest.
    “Because I don’t know where every feather is,” said the woman.
    “You see,” said the priest, “those feathers are like gossip, rumors, and lies. Once they have spread, you can’t take them back!”

    1. Tati,
      My mouth is open with delight of this beautiful story. I am going to remember it forever. What a wonderful way to illustrate the power of gossip and judgment and how it affects everyone. Wow! I love and miss you. Thank you for sharing this and stopping by. Your wisdom (and you) have become my teacher today. Millie

  2. So true! While I’ve been busy finding forgiveness for some people, there are others for whom it is still out of reach. Still, I’m happy with me in general, so I’m not so obsessed with perfection/control as I used to be. Once again, my dear friend, you have inspired me! Much Love!!

    1. Oh, sweetie, I agree. I also know that we are never exempt from the gossip world. if you are good, at times it is a sign of hiding something. If you are bad, well you are a sinner. You can’t always make everyone happy. impossible. Thanks for your wisdom. Sending love back your way!

      1. Ah, gossip! Most times I just ignore it because it tends to be started by folks with nothing better to do. And my response when I can’t ignore it is usually something akin to “get a life and get outta my face!”

  3. I believe there is good in everyone, and regardless of what we see, there is far more we don’t. There is a story behind every hurt, every betrayal, every harsh judgment. The worth of our heart is not in what we own, but in how much we can let in……. I love this, Millie. My real problem is that I quite often find myself judging those who are judgmental……..That’s a tougher dragon I think. But time has made me gentler. What once made me mad, now only makes me sad…….for the person who chooses to carry so much pain. ~ Love to you, my friend. ~ Bobbie

    1. Bobbie, sometimes I think you live in my thoughts. I feel the same way in that I judge those who judge. I am no different. I am learning to be more forgiving and gentler. This human experience is harsh at times. But, I know that love conquers all. It isn’t easy turning the other cheek. Ego wants to be right. I try to shut it up and ignore it. I love you as well. You are a bright light in my path….Millie

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