Yesterday I was finally able to visit with a guest/friend who had been staying here for a week. Our busy schedules didn’t allow for us to sit and catch up. She asked how I was holding up with this “new addition.” I answered her, “People normally get 9 months to prepare for a baby. Even through adoption I had at least a year. I had 2 hours from the time DSS (Dept. of Social Services) called me to ask for us to pick my granddaughter. In those two hours I had to get bottles, diapers and formula. And, then we had to get a playpen. It was like running around without a head attached. But, we did it.”
She listened attentively, going through some of her own emotional turmoil from the week, “I guess you go on crisis mode and just do it.”
I turned to look into her eyes and said, “Exactly, you go on crisis mode! And, that’s what you are going through right now. That’s how YOU are going to get through this issue yourself.” It’s beautiful when you come up with the words on your own. We visited for a small amount of time moving from the week, back to a few months and then retelling a year. I love the way that happens. Her words echoed in my heart. Her story opened me in places I can’t even begin to explain. She’s a remarkable woman. I was blessed to have her as my teacher for a little while.
As I was trying to fall asleep I thought about her comment. Many times we give birth to new situations (often times not pleasant) and we go into crisis mode. Our survival instinct kicks in and we take care of the matter at hand without second guessing. I believe, unfortunately, that I work best when I am on crisis mode. I have no time to think. My spirit does the guiding. If I have time to analyze I don’t always accomplish what I am suppose to achieve properly. Perhaps 22 years in the corporate world taught me to think on my feet. I don’t know. I find that successful people tend to go into crisis with a subconscious awareness. They then step back and fix whatever didn’t go right with analytical compartmentalizing. These folks don’t go around sticking their heads in the sand every time a situation arises.
We are constantly being pulled by the Divine while shuffling our feet to Ego’s criticism. When the crisis mode occurs we have little choice on the matter. Four years ago when my best friend lost her husband at the age of 38 she proceeded on crisis mode like a tornado. She took care of things rather quickly. There’s a saying that you shouldn’t make any drastic changes within a year of a huge life event. But in a matter of four months we packed everything and moved to another state, bought a business, and the crisis mode became a way of life for a long time. It wasn’t until a few years later that I think she began to see the influence of those quick changes without taking time to examine them beforehand. We all need time to heal, sit, process, and learn. It is then that we realize the strength of spirit. I am always surprised at the resilience of this woman!
After 3-1/2 weeks my crisis mode is finally entering the next stage of acceptance and stability. I am making no rash decisions, or trying to guess the future outcomes. That would drive me insane at this point. Every so often Ego visits and I have to shut down completely. I am having to re-do and modify my personality. What I see now is that in the process of moving forward without thinking with my head, but with my heart, I have gained invaluable lessons. Every new adjustment, modification and change in life is a crisis of self. There’s no difference between a birth of a baby (with 9 months to prepare), or the death of a loved one (with no time to say goodbye), or even a natural disaster destroying your home with all your possessions (without warning). We are made to withstand dilemmas, catastrophes, and trauma. It’s within the grace, faith and compassion that we choose to overcome these obstacles that determines our placement in the world. And, those are beautiful opportunities every day from God.
“When written in Chinese, the word ‘crisis’ is composed of two characters. One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.” ~ John F. Kennedy