I was sitting in Barnes and Noble on the first date in months with Matt right before watching a movie. I began browsing through home decorating magazines. I observed the many collections of antiques and other memorabilia throughout the pages. So many pictures staring back from different magazines. It was a bit overwhelming. I realized I haven’t collected anything in years. I used to collect things from old books, figurines, plates, and more. When I moved to the mountains and downsized I had to sell many of my valuables. Now I collect memories. I have become a hoarder of special moments. I rarely take pictures or document such events like I used to years ago. Yet, I know that these moments are stored in some file for me to retrieve in intimate times with my spirit.
I have become a collector of love. I feel it through a caress from my mate, a kiss from my children and a kind word from a stranger. In collecting this source of humanness I find hearts everywhere in nature. I can be hiking and see a heart-shaped rock, a leaf, or a have puffy cloud dancing above me. Those “things” that filled my home no longer have value. They were dust collectors that I don’t miss. I have purged from years of hoarding these belongings. Now, when I look at a heart-shaped rock I pick it up and take it home to throw it somewhere on our yard for another to find.
Memories are formed from love. We cherish those things that bring us joy, laughter, and lift the spirit to grow wings. I don’t retain too many distresses. In the past I would harbor those sorrows for too long. I kinda let them go easier now as I replace the space with the enchanting sentiment of acceptance. I feel, while others analyze. I go with my gut, while others reason with the head. It is through these movements of allowing that creative energy is formed. I don’t need “things” but I do need the belonging that comes with an open heart. It is rare, magical and priceless. It is always there for the making, the taking and the awakening.
This morning my wonderful future mother-in-law was talking about the lottery. She said that when she wins we would all be set. Matt said something along the line that he’s already set; he’s already won because he has me. These are moments I collect! These are the memories that return during doubts, misunderstandings, and the unusual bad days. Ah…to gather these words and tuck them way inside…that’s what a true anthology of love looks like. This is what I choose to collect among a materialistic world. It is through these memories that I expand and broaden my knowing of spirit.
“ I love making, I love doing. I love being to the full, I love everything which is not sitting and watching and copying and dead at heart.”~ John Fowles