Ah…this morning I am a composition of unfinished thoughts searching for the next sentence to find a safe completion. I am grateful for beautiful and lovely company the last few days. I was able to visit with my youngest son who left home almost two years ago to “find himself.” In the process of searching he has realized that the pursuit was in him all along…usually with the return to his roots. He will continue to hit walls and pick mazes that cause him delays in his exploration. I reminded him that the reason the grass is greener on the other side is because it is over a septic field. Not everything that shines is gold. He has to figure things out on his own and will continue to do so. At almost 20 it is difficult to take guidance from many.
I am in complete gratitude for memories…and the reminding of so many things that have changed in my life. I am forever filled with a sense of finality and closure from past drama. These last few days have left me with the conscious awareness that Matt stands by me through things I never imagined someone would stick around for in my past. This union, tightly knotted in stretchable material, clothes us both with certainty in not wanting to bail out when things get a little tough. I have to continue to remind myself that some things matter and others really don’t in the large scope of life. Nothing is perfect. My imperfections are not as magnified as they seemed in my younger years. It’s all about the choices and picking my battles wisely. This comes with time and wisdom of maturity.
I have made a shift in awareness and given a promise to my higher self after these past chaotic months. As I wake each morning I want my spirit to whisper, “Welcome back! You get another chance to love, grow, and touch another…and vice versa.” I want to hear these words not only when I am in a wonderful happy place. I want them to reach the truth of me and speak louder when the mornings might not be that great (God knows we all have them). I want to be reminded of my blessings through the sun’s ray, the morning dew, the gentleness of my lover’s breath on my neck as he sleeps, the giggles of an eleven month, and all the strokes of greatness painted in my life moment to moment. I want to remember that it’s just another chance to celebrate this journey I’ve called Life. Every day is my birthday. Every day I am made anew with discoveries, magic, and mystical events. Growth and awareness do not ascend or descend. They are straight lines that move through our timeline from birth till our last breath. It’s up to me to grab on to that and be grateful for the opportunities ahead.
The unfinished thoughts become strokes of genius at the end of mindfulness. Letting things go is a chess game of consciousness where one move leads into another. And, it is there…on that game board that we get to enjoy the element of surprise, miracles, and divination. Have a grateful day…count each blessing with all of your heart! Let the spirit of gratitude guide you through this season!