Unfinished Composition of Thoughts

handwritten composition

Ah…this morning I am a composition of unfinished thoughts searching for the next sentence to find a safe completion. I am grateful for beautiful and lovely company the last few days. I was able to visit with my youngest son who left home almost two years ago to “find himself.”  In the process of searching he has realized that the pursuit was in him all along…usually with the return to his roots.  He will continue to hit walls and pick mazes that cause him delays in his exploration.  I reminded him that the reason the grass is greener on the other side is because it is over a septic field.  Not everything that shines is gold.  He has to figure things out on his own and will continue to do so.  At almost 20 it is difficult to take guidance from many.

I am in complete gratitude for memories…and the reminding of so many things that have changed in my life. I am forever filled with a sense of finality and closure from past drama.  These last few days have left me with the conscious awareness that Matt stands by me through things I never imagined someone would stick around for in my past.  This union, tightly knotted in stretchable material, clothes us both with certainty in not wanting to bail out when things get a little tough.  I have to continue to remind myself that some things matter and others really don’t in the large scope of life.  Nothing is perfect.  My imperfections are not as magnified as they seemed in my younger years.  It’s all about the choices and picking my battles wisely.  This comes with time and wisdom of maturity.

I have made a shift in awareness and given a promise to my higher self after these past chaotic months.  As I wake each morning I want my spirit to whisper, “Welcome back! You get another chance to love, grow, and touch another…and vice versa.” I want to hear these words not only when I am in a wonderful happy place. I want them to reach the truth of me and speak louder when the mornings might not be that great (God knows we all have them). I want to be reminded of my blessings through the sun’s ray, the morning dew, the gentleness of my lover’s breath on my neck as he sleeps, the giggles of an eleven month, and all the strokes of greatness painted in my life moment to moment. I want to remember that it’s just another chance to celebrate this journey I’ve called Life. Every day is my birthday. Every day I am made anew with discoveries, magic, and mystical events. Growth and awareness do not ascend or descend. They are straight lines that move through our timeline from birth till our last breath. It’s up to me to grab on to that and be grateful for the opportunities ahead.

The unfinished thoughts become strokes of genius at the end of mindfulness.  Letting things go is a chess game of consciousness where one move leads into another.  And, it is there…on that game board that we get to enjoy the element of surprise, miracles, and divination.  Have a grateful day…count each blessing with all of your heart!  Let the spirit of gratitude guide you through this season!

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10 thoughts on “Unfinished Composition of Thoughts

  1. I am reminded of a struggle in my life a few years back. A friend sent me a letter which included this paragraph….“If there is one thing I am learning as I age, it is that all of our experiences, good and bad, contribute in ways we never could have imagined to the value we ultimately bring to the world. So I have become more accepting of things that happen because I believe they will improve me in the long run”. This is a lesson we all need to learn. Thank you for for your great stories.

    1. Oh sweet man! We are full compositions of stories. I often listen to another’s recounts and think of the old black and white composition notebooks…each word magically appearing as they voice out their truth. I thank you for the kindness…the support…the generosity of your presence here. We are all together in this. My stories are just muses that Spirit chooses to compile together in this silly blog. I wish you a peaceful day, dear one. Continue taking care of your village!!!!! Mucho love…Millie

  2. Each time I read your posts I think wow, those are the most beautiful words written in the most beautiful way, and then you write another. You are like an advent calendar Millie. We wait excitedly for another day to open another window of contemplation from your posts. Thank you! VK ❤

    1. I have to step back from this comment as it made me cry with such deep gratitude. I am truly a sentimental fool. Perhaps that is what appears on the page. Thank you. I still write in a weathered journal, full of stains, ink scratches, drawings, mistakes, and such. In there I pour out the parts I cannot share. It is getting easier to share more authentically with others. So…with that said…I appreciate you saying this…as I love your posts as well. Have a blessed and loving day, my friend…Millie

  3. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to read this post. Since Sam retired 2-1/2 weeks ago, each day has seemed to slip away before we even knew it was here. We’ve been going through each day seemingly in a daze. My routine has been turned upside-down and inside-out. But enough about me.

    I love this post, as I do all of your posts. As VK said, you are like an advent calendar. While I may not always comment, I do read every post. (Sometimes 4 or 5 in one day to get caught up but I do read them all.) Glad your youngest son came home for Thanksgiving — a blessing for both of you! And you know how happy I am for your happiness. Love you!!

    1. I am so happy that Sam is finally free of his job. I am glad the two of you will get to spend time together. Like any change, it does take time.
      I thank you for your constant love and support, my friend. Love you bunches.

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