Finding Faith

finding faith

Lately I’ve been feeling like I am on the Bipolar Expressway and most of the exits loop around Crazy Town. So I mindfully begin my mornings with an hour of prayer and/or meditation. I cannot miss a day or I begin to feel ungrounded. I lovingly light my candles for those who need light. Every day is different. (If you’ve been to my house you have witnessed the bucket with a hundred plus tea candles). I light my sage and incense. I wait for the break of day reciting gratitude mantras. This ritual is imperative to continue driving along the expressway of life. Some days are awesome (no traffic from looney tunes) and others are bumper to bumper chaos that require my complete (Im)mature level of patience (I have patience for most people. It’s patience in myself that is a constant struggle). Life is a magnificent teacher. It will provide all the lessons needed for the evolution of the soul. Stay on your lane. Breathe. Get off on rest areas that bring momentary peace. Find center somewhere in the pit of your spirit.  This is part of spiritual life.

Spirituality has a personal definition to all.  There is no right or wrong answer to how it is perceived. It is a personal belief. There is something larger than our selves but it is definitely unique to our individuality. Is it the sense and acceptance of allowing spirit to lead?  Is it the releasing to something greater than ourselves?  Is it the soul parts of the self?  Does it change depending on the circumstances?  The questions are endless!

A while back as I sat with a friend drinking tea staring at the gorgeous scenery of our pond, a comment was made, “This living on radical faith and trust is not for sissies.”  I believe that one statement holds the true meaning of spiritual growth and allowance.  Spirituality is about the unconditional trust in that which we cannot see.  The moment we let love replace the fear of the unknown I think we find the Divine holding space.

When I am having a difficult time in waiting for things to happen I stop.  I get off the Bipolar Expressway.  I take the scenic route. I go deep within me to find Spirit.  It is there that I find that eternal happening of intuition.  There are those moments that my impatience becomes too much for me because I ask for something and expect the result immediately.  But the lesson in spiritual growth is allowance.  There is no time limit to our prayers.  We place those restrictions in our asking.   There is no quick-fix solution.  We interpret the answers however we want.

I believe spirituality is about letting those magic-mystical moments enter and exist without obstruction while allowing the universe to be the only thing in control.  This sense of allowance is part of having the courage to accept things as they are, not as we want them to be.  Living a life of faith requires the release of all control.  It requires that we leap into the unknown without fear.  Just like my friend, Tom said… “It isn’t for sissies!”   But, it is one way of living a deep authentic life of truth and grace.  This is the difference between just surviving and truly consciously existing in the world. Find solace in a breath. Search for God’s presence in you. There, inside that space of love, you will find faith.  And, don’t be so quick to press on the horn when someone is changing lanes or cutting you off.  You have no idea what that person is going through.

“Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity; it would just be… a prudent insurance policy.”- Elizabeth Gilbert

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