I make decisions based on feelings. Yes, there are some that require an analytical strategy. I don’t do those very well. When there’s a huge life-altering decision to make I go into silence, prayer and meditation. I allow Spirit to move me. I also look for signs, synchronicity, and magical appearances along the way. So, when I tell my fiance that I want to sell everything and go on the road he asks for a plan. I have none. I can’t explain what I feel. I just want to go out there and see the country. I want to write about people we meet along the way. I want to see the edges and corners of places most don’t care to visit while others call it home. Although he supports the idea I know he has plenty of reservations. I, on the other hand, have an inkling…a guidance from some other place.
Now imagine being with a person who needs facts, has to see things unfold? Can you imagine how crazy this way of traveling sounds to him? We went to look at campers this Saturday and it was a fiasco of a day. He had become Mr. Kill Joy. I love him. I understand the frustration when there is no set plans. I understand it all but I don’t live there. My means of travel consist of hitting the road and when an animal crosses the path we follow it. No…seriously! This is how he describes me along with getting off and riding a unicorn into the sunset with a baby harness.
How does this future fantasy look today, in a week, when we are with each other 24/7? Where do we plan on parking this dream? How will it be on the last day that we must leave this place? What does the future look like in a small compact space with a toddler day in and out? Where will we go first? How will he handle the fact that some places won’t have internet connection? I told him I am getting rid of my cell phone. People can reach me through his or email me. His face went blank. I want to be free. But…oh…when he starts with rational questions I want to blink my eyes and disappear into a hippie bottle and join Jeannie. I can’t verbalize what I feel when I see myself traveling across the country.
I am not an easy person to follow even though I seem to be predictable…I am not. I am sure I am not a piece of cake to live with day in and day out. I have no plans most of the time, except cleaning our place and such. When I head into town sometimes I am on an adventure: a new road to follow, a new book store to check out, or just chasing the clouds. I want to live the rest of my life without expectations or planning. How will this play out for my mate? I don’t know. I get an earful as he begins to bring me down to reality. My jaw tightens when he goes into logical mode. No fault of his own, most of the world lives like this. But, I don’t want to hear the negative. I come to my own conclusions. I want to believe we are being guided by extraordinary forces. I want to continue following my intuition. If it feels right…it is. If it doesn’t…it’s not. Simple enough.
Logic can only take you so far. The dreamers, shakers, yesers and trailblazers have done it before me. I can do whatever I am guided to do. And, if a squirrel passes in front of me and I follow it into the woods to find a heart-shape rock and other treasures, then be it. Magic is everywhere. That’s the point of living authentically. Romance comes in so many levels. I believe in serendipity. It has guided me through the most beautiful experiences.
Follow your dreams. You don’t need to know how it will happen…just start now. As Helen Keller wrote: “Life is a daring adventure or nothing.”