The moon woke me from a deep slumber right before midnight luring me outside. I sat on my deck inhaling its energy. It was a clear night. I could see the stars brightly shining on this property. The breeze danced through the trees along with the wind chimes. Each breath I took seem to lead me into prayer and then deeper into meditation. I closed my eyes and began giving all to the light. I opened my heart widely and poured out the love to the universe.
I could feel the vibration from the light healing me, reactivating intuition, and sending me to a place of peace. I live for these moments in full connection and harmony with nature. There is presence. I heard ruffling below as if I had an audience witnessing this bathing of soul. What happens when we open so widely that the world around us becomes magic? Every single cell expands in gratitude.
I was out there for a long while. Several hours passed without consent. I don’t know where I went. I don’t know how I got to the place of serenity that encompasses my divinity. I am grateful not to have to logically figure it out. I don’t need to. God is an omnipotence force that embraces every cell in me.
The wind kissed me often, chilling me to the bone, then warming me back to life. It played with me for a long while until I had to get a blanket. I returned to the womb state cocooned in comfort. There was a mystical force under that moon so powerful that I could not return to bed. I saw me. I saw the world in that moon.
I had a bad day yesterday. I was stricken by sadness and anger. A dear friend who is very intuitive messaged me asking how I was doing. I wrote back: “I wish I could lie and tell you that I am doing fabulous. I wish I could do it without guilt and shame. I am a freaking mess today. I have had hurt come up sitting today in places that have been abandoned…dusting these crevices is not easy. Getting rid of the cobwebs is not fun. I have to continue being in the moment. It’s a conscious effort all day long…breathing and reminding myself that I am not my thoughts, my anxiety nor my memories. This is all an illusion. I am just trying to surf this ebb. I am stricken by anxiety that is causing me panic attacks…this is how I know change is close.”
These are not emotions I entertain often. Once I finished sending the message I felt worst. I don’t want pity. I want a solution to these emotions that are coming up. They have their reason for visiting. I know this. This cosmic drainage is not for sissies. This constant wave of pushing and pulling from the bottom of my spirit is not normal. Or is it? Is this part of the conscious shift? Is this part of my emotional and spiritual growth and evolution? Are others feeling this so intense?
I don’t condone a pity party to visit and stay. I don’t know where it came from with such force and I know better than to dive wholeheartedly into it. But, I did. I have to give myself permission for days like that. Today is different. The moon cleared me up like a crystal pulling source from light. There was an inner battle going on and the light of the moon helped clear things up.
Allow yourself time to moon bathe. Give yourself permission to listen to all parts of you under the night sky. When all else is quiet you can feel your truth rise to salute you. It’s not just magical, it’s part of your existence. You are not surviving. You are living in divine light experiencing through love and lessons. You still have tonight to experience this enchantment…go play. Find your unicorn, fairies, and make it a magical night. Dance in the moonlight!~ I love you.