Yesterday I went to visit a sweet neighbor who has been a bit under the weather. As I was leaving, while opening up the front door he asked from his recliner, “Why are we here?”
Instinctively, without hesitation I held the door open and answered, “To love, be of service and learn for the highest evolution of our soul.”
He mumbled under his oxygen line, “That’s a load of crap!”
It stopped me. I was taken aback. How dare I give such an opinion when I could see he was struggling with a decent answer to the purpose of life.
I then added, “That is a really good question. It’s a powerful one.”
We said our goodbyes. I got in the car and felt a tug of disappointment in myself. I felt I owed him an apology. Who left me in charged of such a loaded question to answer so bluntly. I haven’t a clue. This is my belief but it can be completely wrong. He wanted the answer that has been constant in our existence. I could have said, “You know maybe we are the lab rats for a universal experiment. And, we are surely failing at that.” But that’s not my belief.
I don’t know if what I experienced was real when I had my near death experience. I don’t know if the things I see and feel are real either whenever I tap into conscious awareness through prayer, meditation or just sitting in nature. I don’t know what tricks the brain could be playing with me. I don’t know what faith really is in the scope of answers. I don’t know what anything is to be honest. But, I do know what I feel as my truth: there is something greater within us. There is an abstract force of nature that moves through love, kindness, compassion and service to humanity. I am following that which reaches into my core on a daily basis to exist in this world. I must. I have done the wondering and pondering of such extraordinary loaded questions. I don’t know for him. He is struggling with something of an existential crisis of faith. He’s had a lot happen to him. I do know this to be true and I admire his tenacity.
To be asked such a deep provoking question as I am leaving, wobbling with a hurt foot, pain shooting through my leg…I don’t know. I have to believe that the answer lies within each soul. What I believe to be real is my perception but not necessarily any one else’s reality. This is not a one-size-fits-all mentality. This is life and the purpose of it is personal and filled with secrets.
SO to my darling gentleman: I am so sorry for blurting out that answer without filtering its contents. You know I love you. I will be back to explore this further over coffee. I promise!