Fear of Success

fear of failure

I don’t consider myself a fearful person. I don’t live based on worrying about things that I can’t control (which is mostly everything in life). But, for a long time I have been hiding a fear that, until a few days ago, didn’t show itself into my awareness. I have been fearful of success. I have stopped myself so many times because of not hurting anyone with my career choices. It wasn’t until a few days ago when I was redoing my blog and giving it a new face-lift that I said to my husband, “It was time to do this. I don’t know why I haven’t taken care of this before.”
My husband immediately answered, “You have been paralyzed by the fear of success.” I pulled away from the computer and looked at him across from the dining room table. He was right. I have stopped growing with my writing career so I wouldn’t hurt anyone else. I feared that if I succeeded others might not love me or accept me. I feared that my success would alienate others who didn’t know their own worth. I feared losing those who had self-worth issues because they would somehow feel less with my success. I fear the idea of what succeeding would create for those who needed me around them.

Here is what I know about success and others: Anyone who can’t handle your joy, progress, abundance, or growth has an issue with their own ego. They aren’t really part of a healthy support system. To me, seeing others succeed is a drug of choice. I love to watch them rise and move forward. I get a high from being able to witness triumph and advances. If I can help them with words of encouragement, I feel like I have had a massive dosage of Oxytocin. I feel their joy and their vibrations. It’s a place I love to be, surrounded by those who move forward and align with their purpose.

I’ve had an inkling about this but sometimes it takes someone else to point it out. Every time someone has given me an opportunity for growth I have stopped myself in the past. I would start with the best intentions and then stop while returning to the comfort zone. I had this idea of what writing could be and not what is it right now (or what it will become). I had this perception, old programming from childhood, that writing wasn’t going to pay me anything. It was a hobby. I wasn’t going to be Hawthorne, Frost, Poe, Mary Oliver or Elizabeth Gilbert. I had to come to terms years ago that it was just a means to get my feelings out in the open. Through the process of writing I have found myself. I have met hundreds of people who are now in my tribe. If I hadn’t written a word none of these folks would be in my life. And because of those unions, I have finally figured out that what I want is to write stories of how the world moves, feels, and survives. I want to share humanity’s echoes and voices while inspiring others to succeed and overcome obstacles.

Success has an egotistical tone to it. The word itself feels mighty over accomplished when you say it. But, the reality is that success is overcoming all illusions of failure. We have no problem accepting failures, disappointments and heartaches. That, we accept without an issue! We actually expect it! Ah…but to triumphantly engage above and beyond what you can imagine…now that is difficult for most of us to conceive.

My husband has witnessed me at the lowest points and the highest ones. He has seen me move forward tenaciously taking what I want when I put my mind to it. He knows me enough to sit across the table and say those words without judgment. He knows me well enough to know that I understand those three words, “Fear of success.”

I have written about it in my journal the past few days. I have moved on through the root of when the programming began and why I allowed it to become a core belief system. I have seen success many times in my life. I have been very successful in many areas. I have overcome obstacles. I am certain you all have as well. But when was the last time that you sat down and said, “I am going to live my life’s purpose without this nagging fear that is paralyzing me?”

We create excuses for not pursuing our dreams. I don’t have enough money, or time, or help…. We can truly find time when we want something badly. You want to write a novel? Get up early enough to write a page a day. In a year you will have 365 pages. You want to be a hat maker? Go for it. Start today with just scraps of materials. You want to climb the highest mountain? Start walking around the block first. You want to paint and get paid for your art? Start selling your work at a flea market or in front of your house then work yourself into selling on Etsy. You want to be a greeting card maker? Start your own line of cards on a blog. You want to teach yoga? Start substituting at a studio on the weekends.

You know the only thing that stops you from achieving a goal? YOU! You stop YOU! You scare YOU. You fear YOU. You don’t fear success. You fear YOU being successful. Fear is a horrible emotion and when we buy into its darkness we refuse to turn on our inner light to dispel it.

So today, I am working towards my goal. I am going to succeed in writing stories from all corners of the world. I urge you to email me and share what you have overcome in this life. I will be more than joyous to write these into an article and share on my blogs. We all have stories. It’s time you inspire another! Live your truth no matter how difficult it feels. Nothing exciting ever happens in your comfort zone. You have to leave it in order to find change and growth!

Please email me at dharma.1111@hotmail.com

Thank you and I love you!

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10 thoughts on “Fear of Success

    1. You know that one man from years ago I get to call an ex now? He said that I would never have anything without him. I believed him for a long time. I was afraid of my own success. No mas! That’s the beauty about cutting cords and past traumas. You let go and allow the universe to align with your dreams. I love you! Thank you for the support throughout the years.

      1. Darlin’ you are most welcome!! You’ve supported me at least as much as I have you. We Are Family!!! Love you!

        And yes, I do remember “that man”. Funny, I always thought it was the other way around – that HE would have nothing without YOU!

  1. Hiya Millie,

    We all face that particular fear, sometimes quite often. One of the big lessons I think we all discover is that your fears almost never come to pass therefore they are illusiory. An anti fear of success mantra could have been this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt…

    “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

    ☺ + ♥ Welles

  2. I know exactly what you’re saying. I wouldn’t feel bad for myself if you become successful with your writing. I would be majorly proud and cheer you on. It’s fear that holds me back. On June 3rd I’m going to a conference with Penguin books a subsidiary to Random House. They are offering 15 minute pitches to the participants. I paid for my ticket and I am thinking about my pitch. Am I good enough, is it my time or will I do something to screw it up.

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