I am now figuring things out. Like, it’s taken me 48 years to learn things I swear I knew in my 20’s. I thought I knew enough math to get through life. I realized I don’t and I am so glad to have calculators and computers to compensate. I thought I knew how to heal my broken heart, but I don’t. It always catches me by surprise when I am shocked by the intensity and disappointment each time it happens. I thought I knew what it was to let things go completely…but obviously it’s still work in progress. I am learning slowly. I thought I had a great sense of direction. I really don’t. That was truly the biggest lie I told myself. I don’t know many things I believed I should have known by now. And, I am sure in 10 years I will look back and recognized I still don’t know much.
One thing that has occurred to me is that my life is like Google Earth. When I begin to focus on one thing it can be unbearable. The minute I zoom out…all the way out and I see the big picture I realize how doable this business of living really is. It’s charming. It’s magical. It’s happening every second. So what if I suck at math, or measurements. Who cares if I get lost in my own backyard and, even a compass, can’t get me squared away. I like those adventures. I find that the one thing I’ve truly learned is how I perceive things.
There are moments, in my exquisitely dorky human form, that I tend to over-focus on a situation. I burn my brain cells trying to find an answer for what shouldn’t be entertained at that moment. Then I push my little imaginary Google magnifying glass and zoom out. That gesture in zooming out is enough for me to see all the other magnificent things happening in my life. It’s then that I recognize that I can get through this particular moment. I can overcome this challenge. I can work through the issues within the scope of my knowledge.
The other day, at my cousin’s house, we watched a super intense movie called No Escape. Kept me on the edge of my seat. Every time Owen Wilson had to accomplish something that was overwhelming he said, “Ten steps. Ten more steps.” That’s definitely doable to anyone. So now, when I come to that place of “Oh my gawd, I am exhausted…I don’t want to go on.” I recite to myself, “Okay, Millie, 10 more steps.” Who can’t afford to walk 10 steps. Like come on…it’s satisfyingly easy!
When we zoom out of the chaos, when we allow ourselves to view the giant picture from elsewhere, we can take more than 10 steps. We are able to shift consciousness and accomplish anything in front of us. We remove blinders and accept what is good, disregarding what can’t be changed right now. So if you can’t leave a job, a relationship, or you have money issues, or whatever it is that’s tormented your soul, you zoom out of that. You have a home, you have health, you have this and that…and you witness the change in your acceptance.
Life is wonderful. We get to decide how we live it. Feel blessed. You DO NOT have to figure things out right now, unless it’s a life or death situation. The rest can surely wait. You got this. We got this. Together we can accomplish much!