Making My Way Home

i-dont-know

I am not a teacher. I am not a guru. I don’t have answers to all the wonderful spiritual questions out there. I cringe when someone asks if I am psychic. I related a message to a woman the other day from “beyond” (or what seemed like her deceased grandmother) and she asked if I was a medium. I answered, “Nah, I am a large. I haven’t been a medium in some time!” It took her a second and she continued to ask more questions that I just couldn’t answer. I can’t take titles seriously. I can’t take any of those labels to heart. I am currently having enough issues dealing with daily life…just one of those challenging times. Next month it might be different.

I continue to struggle with writing and sharing my shenanigans. I question the things that I know for sure. I have nothing to offer anyone but the spec of hope and faith that I, myself, carry at all times. That’s sufficient for me, but I cannot tell you how to attain it. Don’t ask me how to start a spiritual practice, how to meditate, or how to use your intuition. I don’t know. I only know what works for me.

I love reading the wonderful emails and messages when someone asks me about relationship advice. God knows I haven’t a clue how to direct you to attain a relationship or keep one happy. I am nowhere near “A Dear Abby” columnist. I don’t have the answers for you on what you should do. Sometimes the stories ring similar to my life and I can project a suggestion. But, please don’t take it to heart. Don’t follow my every word. It’s not fair to me when things start to fall apart and you return to me with a broken heart. I warn everyone that I don’t have the answers!  I am just like you, googling everything all the time.

Let me tell you what I know for sure: I can take care of me. I can fall on my ass a hundred times and get up a hundred and one. That I know for sure. I know what is good for me and what is not. I know how to decipher spirit messages for me and when to shut ego down (once again, for me). I know what works for my children, each one is different. I know how to manifest when I have a visual of what I want. I know how to create a loving home. I know words…and the power they bring with them. I know how to love deeply and how to let go when I need to. I know when to rid myself of toxic-emotional vampires in my life. I am certain I know some other simple things. Oh, and one thing I am certain of is that I laugh at things that others find improper. I love to giggle, poke fun, and create space for silliness even if I am the only laughing in the room.

But, I don’t know how to help you fix your life. I don’t know how to fix my own many times (in one day). I don’t know politics or religion well enough to debate with anyone. I don’t know crap about mathematics or chemistry or history. But, give me a clear night and I can sit on a porch and babble about the universe and what it means to me. I can talk to you excessively about racism, prejudice, brokenness, and the arrogance of humanity. I have answers to some useless questions like, “how and when did sticking your middle finger become a thing of insult?”

I hate to disappoint anyone. This is why I didn’t become a therapist. This is also why I am not a teacher. I don’t want to tell you what needs to be adjusted for your life to work out. I am, just like you, following a make-believe map (sometimes reading it upside down) trying to make sense of life and this journey. I am merely trying to find the path to a life that’s fulfilling and authentic for me.

If you want to laugh…I am here for you. I got you covered! If you want to play, call me, I will make time for that! If you want to know about fairies and mermaids and other elementals…I am your girl (as long as you don’t take me too serious). I am an expert at nothing. I promise you this. And, always believe someone when they tell you what they are…cause they know it. I know me!

I have come to terms with my own dysfunctions, eccentricities, and illogical OCD bullshit. I, often, write just because it’s excess that needs to purge and I share because someone might relate in a humorous way (and other times in a serious manner that can help you hang on just another day). But, I am, by no means, an expert. So please, forgive me if I don’t give you the answer you want to hear. You know yourself better than anyone. You have your own journey to explore and live. I am just making my way home like you.

I love you…

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5 thoughts on “Making My Way Home

  1. This is fantastic!! I especially Loved the “large” comment at the beginning of your post when asked if you were a medium; I was rolling with laughter! Thank you for that. A wonderfully human post. Blessings for sharing, you.

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