I Don’t Really Know

Elizabeth Gilbert sometime ago wrote on her blog an article about not knowing: not knowing why bad things happen. I have given that so much thought. I am often in deep connection with divinity and ask the same questions: “Why does this happen to some folks? Why do some people die so young? Why this? Why that?” I am returned with the unknown of echoes from the universe. I don’t have to know. And, when things happen in my own life that rattle and shake and shatter pieces of me I ask in the silence of prayer: Okay, God, what’s the meaning of this lesson? Most of the time I intuitively know the answer to be “just because it’s part of my evolution.” But, this is in my case.

I don’t know why a mother must lose her child so young. I don’t know why some people have to die in massacres that destroy our faith in humanity. I can’t understand what’s happening to our earth. I don’t really know why so many are stricken with grief and fear while others seem to have it easier. It’s not for me to know. I can only focus on what I see and that alone has little control.

Our lives are strings of knowing and not knowing; of accepting and growing; and of letting go to what is our humanness. This life at times is blindsided, full of short vision, and it isn’t until something tragic happens that we gather together in faith. I don’t believe God allows for this. I don’t believe that there is a puppet in the sky (in no religion) that determines who gets what. I don’t believe that what happens in another time is paid here…sometimes I fantasize that this would be an easy answer.

Most of us journey through our days trying to remember things while others are trying to forget horrific events. Some of us spend countless hours running towards a goal to better our lives while others are running away from the past. It’s a matter of picking and choosing what thought you will give energy to at any given time.

My thoughts and prayers are with the families of those lost in this shooting that happened a few days ago. When will it all stop? How do we stop it? What can we do to be open to humanity without putting up walls and living in fear?

My heart is also opened to all those struggling on a daily basis with mental illness, poverty, hunger, injustice, bullying, bigotry, racism, and atrocious violence.

Every single one of us started out as a seed of hope. We were a blank canvas and our parents, teachers, society began to dictate what was on that canvas. Not one particular person to blame.

We can’t be responsible for the past of our childhood. BUT, we are responsible on how we participate in the drama and our lives. We get that choice.

As I have mentioned that I don’t know these answers I do know one: love is the binding force to humanity. Love is the thread that ties every belief and religion. Love is the hand that embraces us through Spirit. Love is God. It’s the universal language. And, this knowing comes from a lifetime of witnessing how love changes one person at a time. Let’s not lose faith in humanity. Let’s not lose hope in our future. Let’s continue to ask the questions of how to help and prevent these tragedies without such hatred. It was hatred that created the tragedy. Let’s not go into that mode. You cannot live in the same space of love and still live with the same intensity of hate.

I love you. Have a blessed day. May you choose the right question and answers that enlighten your path.

5 thoughts on “I Don’t Really Know

  1. Pingback: Mystical Journey – “I really don’t know…” | Blue Dragon Journal

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