My husband and I were watching the show, This Is Us, last night. For whatever reason, because the show is full of vulnerability, I began to share a memory that I’ve never, ever shared with anyone from when I was pregnant with my second son. I left his father soon after he was born. But, I kept that memory of my 22nd birthday tucked inside until last night. I caught myself saying out loud, “I’ve never shared that memory of that day with anyone.” He asked, “Why now? Why me?” In my silence I knew why. There was no judgment. He was just there, open to receive the message. We continued watching the show. Nothing else was mentioned. This is one of the many reasons why I adore my husband. And also why in the last year we’ve grown closer…because we’ve openly shared the layers of the past.
Memories visit us a lot. They entertain us with laughter and break us up with sorrow. They revisit when they need to be acknowledged and they also leave us when we no longer need the reminders. Whatever triggered that moment of me sitting on a park bench, 5 months pregnant while mourning my marriage, was needed to be released.
Why now? Why do such things come up when they need to? Why do we feel the need to share with someone and not with others? The mind, our conscious choices, and our essence are all tied neatly to this moment. We are brought back to traumas or issues and events because we require healing. We don’t have to entertain every single thought that passes through. We don’t have to block them out either. But, we do ourselves great injustices when we ignore the poignant messages that come through memories. Don’t.
DO NOT wallow in the darkness. Allow the detachment of the past to show you how much you have learned. How much you have evolved. It’s massive. We are moved by growth. I am forever grateful for my ability to forgive and let go.
Allow your heart to heal. Give permission to your higher self to help you. You are precious. And, you deserve to live in the moment without piggy backing any crap from the past. You no longer live there.