Since I was a teenager I was rushing. I had to rush towards something or away from it. I rushed with this deep inkling I was running towards truth. I kept feeling I needed to remember something important so I ran towards an invisible thread that would tie me to a memory. All along while in this frenzy of anxiety I didn’t stop to witness the journey. I just moved at the speed of lightning trying to find answers to some imaginary illusion of what was out there. I made horrible and risky decisions along the way. I created a life that has taught me a lot about grace and faith. And perhaps that was also part of the destiny.
But…I’ve missed out on the journey too many times. During meditation, recently, that “thing” I was suppose to remember was the awareness of the journey. I don’t have to know the answers. I don’t have to worry. It’s all coming in perfect timing. I stopped searching for gurus who could tell me who I am. I gave my power long ago to others and now have retrieved it. I stopped entertaining every single drama that needed fixing when it wasn’t my job. I stopped busying myself to exhaustion because I thought I would miss the memory.
Want to know what that thing was that I had forgotten since coming into this incarnation?
To love fully every single soul who entered my space. I don’t have to know the why’s and how’s. I trust. I research through my own travels. But I don’t have to know if we live in a game simulation or if we are compositions of endless, timeless infinite consciousness tied together. I know why I’m here. I found my purpose.
But, I am still human and ego tends to cloud my spiritual truth. It loves to play tricks on me while teaching me some valuable lessons (which I could avoid if I stay in my knowing). So I must return to move inward often. I must step away from the mass consciousness of chaos and return to me and nature. I return to the inner core of who I was to be…who I am in connection with others.
I remember now what I couldn’t for decades. I’m here to move day by day through love. To share that love. To help heal through love (especially me). Because we are all part of one thing: The universe love of grace. We ARE the oneness of that one thing: Love.
That thing you crave or think about…the one that keeps you up at night…follow that desire. That’s what makes you whole. If it’s painting, or writing, or whatever…that’s the reason you came here. Stop putting it away and hiding because it will come back with great force. You don’t have to stop living as you are but you must include that desire in the living.
So when you start to believe that you DO fit here; that you belong in this world; that you do have a purpose; and shift that mindset of being here by mistake you will start to create the magic of you.
I choose to write about love. I don’t do it to sound like a corny middle age woman. I choose it because it chose me before I got here. And I will follow that yummy feeling until the day I am not in this body. I will continue to touch and love others to the best of my ability. Because…if that’s what I’m here to do then by God I will do it fully.
I love you. I do. Even if we haven’t met my heart is fully open for you to enter at any time. Have a blessed day, darlings!!!