I sit in deep silence this morning as our kid sleeps way past her normal time. I was afraid of getting up and making coffee. It’s rare. She has this ability to feel me when my eyes open. That’s the connection we have. So this morning I am well aware of how we exhausted her this weekend through the travels.
Four years ago today we got the call. Department of Social Services said we had two hours to get her or she would be placed in foster care. My boyfriend, now husband, said immediately, “Where do we go?” He did not bother to discuss it. He was ready. He had never had children. I had raised six of them pretty much on my own.
Kali is technically my granddaughter. I adopted her mother from Romania when she was nine years old. Her mother is mentally challenged and has severe mental illnesses. She is out in the world functioning to the best of her ability. She is a survivor. Also a stubborn woman who doesn’t want to get on birth control. And she knows her rights. Next month she will be 28.
In a bit we will go and get her second son who just turned one. Kali is unaware of the details. At some point it will be discussed. For now we are the only parents she knows. And we love her beyond words. We are parenting her with the utmost amount of love in our hearts.
That’s the thing with the future: you don’t know how it will play out. Four years ago, she was 5 months old, my youngest daughter was about to graduate high school. I was looking forward to an empty nest. I was planning trips and retreats and books I would write. God had other plans. Because let’s face it, I am a mother. I have been mothering all of my life. It’s a job I know well.
So, today we celebrate the life of this little girl who shines. She truly has this inner light that keeps us glowing in her presence. She is waiting on her baby brother. She insists he is bright as well. She should know because she’s been talking about him before he was even born.
Live through love. Have no expectations of the future. Recognize that the best parts are the surprises. I love you.