Four years ago I had a near-death experience. My soul left my body for a short time in the hospital. It went to a place of complete bliss and love. It went to Source. The days and weeks that followed my return were filled with magic. Time stopped in a way that the logical mind couldn’t explain…24 hours seemed like weeks. I was here but I wasn’t. Every morning, for months, I wrestled with my soul to not go off elsewhere. I had to pull my essence to stay in my physical body. I would wake trying to find grounding. It was intense and lovely. It allowed me to witnessed the world in a deeper conscious level. I doubt I will ever be able to describe the thoughts or experiences fully. There are no adjective or words that can do justice.
I couldn’t be around too many people. I couldn’t deal with all the energy that surrounds us. I was constantly trying to honor the softness of me. I was fragile. Oh my gosh…I was fragile and strong and so many things all at once. I felt the earth beating and expanding. I could hear colors without seeing them. Because of this ultra openness and sensitivity, I asked folks who visited me to please be responsible for how they showed up. I began to see the human struggle of ego and spirit in everyone. It was daunting and heartbreaking. So I opted to stay in solitude for as long as I could.
My husband (then fiancé) was afraid I would take my life. I had changed. I returned into my body that day with a vulnerability that had never been in me. It passed with every month. I needed to become human again. But those first few months after that winter day were the most mystical moments of my spiritual life. I saw the world through clear lenses removing all ego. And it was exquisite. It was also frightening to be in this world feeling the hate and brokenness. I was overwhelmed with every single extra noise and energy that visited.
I brought back gifts from there. THERE…a place that has so many labels and names. A place that is beyond this galaxy. I share this because we walk around not acknowledging our energy in the presence of others. It’s imperative you always take responsibility of how you show up, especially when in the presence of someone who is ill, or dying. They feel you before you are even there. They are opened to so much as they have one foot here and the other in that other world. Be kind. Be gentle with your soul and respect other people’s spaces.
It takes full awareness to recognize energy. Let’s work on raising it together so we can make massive changes in our world. ~m.a.p.