I was driving from the supermarket this afternoon and the DJ on the radio mentioned that Nia Vardalos and her husband of 25 years are getting a divorce. They are the creators of the movie, based on their experience, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Now, I don’t know why the news hit me so hard. I don’t know these people. I’ve only watched the movie a few times and watched her on several other comedies. But it hit me. My heart felt the thump. Why?
It’s the 25 years. It’s the being with someone a quarter of a century to then have it end. This is what I know, being in your 50’s forces you to look at your life differently. You recognize that the clock is ticking faster. You stop tolerating the things that irritated you. You begin to find deeper meaning in life. People start to question their purpose and desire to feel a sense of newness. They begin to shed old skin and reinvent themselves. Sometimes the partnership cannot handle the changes. Relationships tend to either work through the midlife crisis or end.
I find it fascinating. I met a woman who got a divorce in her 80’s. She said she couldn’t be unhappy one more day. She wanted to feel free for once. It’s never too late to do what you desire.
I believe it takes work, commitment, consideration and profound awareness to stay together when things feel different. Millions do it. Some are happy. Others not so much. Communication is essential. Ego needs to take a backseat. We want to evolve and feel loved. We want to know we are seen and heard by our mates. It’s an awareness of self.
I wonder if she will make a movie now called My Big Fat Greek Divorce?
One thought on “Awareness of Self”
Getting to a 25th wedding anniversary can be REALLY hard work. It also requires a lot of soul searching; ego squelching; reminding oneself that “the grass is always greener on the other side until you get there just to find it’s artificial turf”; and a deep, lasting commitment to the marriage vows. I’m not saying Nia and her hubby did this, but I’ve seen a lot of folks go into marriage with the half-baked notion that they can get out of it as easily as they got into it if it doesn’t work out the way they hoped. (My most recent ex SIL being one of those folks.) IMO, all that kind of thinking does is doom the marriage from the start. And why bother getting married at all if you’re going into it with that attitude? Sure, Sam and I have had a lot of disagreements – and some that have pushed me close to the edge of the cliff – but I held on through them all because I take those marriage vows to heart and do all I can to honor them, in spite of my ego.