Lessons from a Pandemic

I’ve learned invaluable lessons during these last 6 weeks of staying home about myself and my family:

I have more patience than I give myself credit for.

I have a horrid-wicked-twisted sense of humor when I am not busy with my own stuff. I have to water it down!

I have accepted that I am not a teacher…nor ever want to be. And I respect educators so much. Now more than ever before.

I avoid lots of emotional shit until I don’t and then it comes out in a massive wave of release. And, boy, have I released beyond words. I’ve let go of triggers and traumas because I haven’t been able to run from them.

I don’t need much. All those trips to Home Goods and Target were to fill an emptiness. I haven’t stepped into either place in more than 6 weeks and I am fine with it.

My kids are excellent emotional button pushers. And, I have learned to truly return to the present moment with them because they, too, are experiencing a different routine. Now the routine has become normal. They are my biggest teachers.

We love the outdoors. I have given so much love to the yard for the first time since we bought this house a year and a half ago. I am learning to be gentle out there and watch spring as it’s blooming everywhere. I, too, am blossoming.

My oldest son is staying here from New York and our conversations in the evenings have been priceless. There is nothing sweeter than having stimulating conversations with your grown children. When my own thoughts come out of his mouth I get giddy. It’s been the first time in 12 years since we’ve been together longer than a week at a time during holidays.

I am grateful. I have learned that I am truly happy with my life (on most days) even when the young kids take the piss out of me. I am grateful for my husband still having a job and putting his life in danger out there.

My spirituality took a giant blow for three or four weeks during this. I questioned everything and, at the same time, nothing at all. I felt numbed and disconnected. I couldn’t feel the other realm. And, then I did and it’s come back with such depth.

I have learned to stop speculating. I’ve stopped reading things that triggered me on social media. I rarely watch the news. I won’t entertain things that hit my spiritual truth and knowing.

I marvel at it all. Six weeks have been a gift of their own. I know many have lost loved ones. I know the risks taken with each breath out there. I know that I know nothing about what will happen in the upcoming months.

I have reached out to those who I’ve missed but was too busy to talk to. We’ve connected again through amazing increments of time.

Being home has never felt safer. It has never felt warmer. This has been a giant pause for me. I have done very little with my writing, or creativity (other than yard work) and I have learned to be okay with it.

All that I could have done with this time has gone into raising a small family. It’s been a delightful gift to do this fully and mindfully…until I get to bed with exhaustion. But, it has been lovely to learn so much about me at this age.

I had a birthday during this time. I celebrate my birthday all 30 days of April. This year it hasn’t been like that. I haven’t had me time in weeks. But, that also has brought tremendous awareness. Fifty-two years have come and this one I will never forget.

I am certain there are many other lessons I can’t remember at this time. I am healing. It’s never ending. I am excited to see what’s on the other side of this.

What have you learned? What has this PAUSE brought for you and your family?

Mucho love…Millie

18 thoughts on “Lessons from a Pandemic

  1. Hey there! Your lessons never cease to amaze me! But they are always wonderful!

    I am learning more every day to be present in the present. I’ve learned that it’s the ONLY way to deal with this mess without going totally off my rocker.

    I’m grateful for our health and safety so far! I’m grateful Sam and I have each other and Ducky and our families and friends.

    And, like you, I’ve learned that the only thing I know is that I don’t know much at all. And forget about predictions – especially those coming from a certain occupier of the White House! – I gave up even trying to make sense of this mess a few weeks ago!

    I do know one thing: I miss the drives up to the mountains with Sam and the dogs! And seeing you while we were up there! Maybe one day?

    1. I miss you here too. I feel we’ve all learned something about the frailty of life, the certainties, and the unknown. We are learning to stay put and truly be in the moment. I love and miss you. Thanks for sharing this. Profound. M

    2. Happy Birthday Millie!
      I’m learning patience with respect to the fear within others. I guess that is increasing my compassion. 😉 kinda important, right?
      My knowing of a devine plan grows daily. Excited to see how things come about and create the new.
      I do have my human doubts and confusion occasionally too. I started studying (free online course) Unified Physics. Learning how we are all connected. Fun.
      I look for wonder and beauty more often, and I always find it. I miss my family who only live a couple of hours away, but I can’t visit. I’ve begun sending note cards and finding other ways to connect. Strangely, I think I’m connecting more now than before.
      My connection with my mate at home has grown stronger. We just lovingly touch more. More hugs too. Life is good and I appreciate each moment. So nice to hear and see the Earth healing too. We all are. Yay!
      I send love & light to you and your family and all. Thank you for sharing.

      1. I love this. I am smiling widely at your connection with your family and mate. It has become a powerful time for many to recognize what and who they have. Sending love your way. Loving you from here.

    1. I am relishing the slower days too. I’m glad you haven’t had to endure the heartache of anyone close to you. But, I also know you experience the shift in it all from the collective. Hugs.

  2. Amma Tanya White

    So, beautiful Millie. Thank you for sharing your heart and authentic experience of this pandemic. It’s been interesting for me because as you know as a nurse I am considered an essential worker, so I’ve been going outside daily to see patients. I oftentimes can’t wait to get back in the house, It feels like a warm blankie when I get to return home at the end of the day. But what’s been most interesting for me is noticing my reaction to others experience of this pandemic and some people’s lack of taking it seriously. It pisses me off to no end and frustrates me, because I know of several of my colleagues who have been directly impacted by this virus. And then for about a week I went numb. i think all of the emotions that were flooding me became too much to bear, so I shut down and disconnected for a beat. And now..well now I am more centered in my heart again, and feel an overwhelming urge to serve in any way I can. Most days I have no earthly clue what that will look like..smh.. So, I just follow Spirit’s guidance and move spontaneously as they prompt me to. One thing’s for certain, this is a huge pause for us all. What we do with it is totally up to us. Thanks again for this sharing. I appreciate you ❤

    1. I can’t thank you enough for all you do for so many. I can’t imagine being in the frontlines of this and seeing so much devastation. You are also feeling the collective because of your sensitivities. So it is an extra of everything out there. Glad you are grounded. Thanks for the love and support.

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