As we come to close this year, I reflect. It’s been a doozie one. It’s been a year of chaos and pain; loss and gains; uncertainties and many unknowns. We’ve been put through a meat grinder at times without knowing exactly when it will end. The collective can now begin to heal. You and I will do that together even if it’s from afar.
On a personal level it’s been an emotionally difficult one. I feel like I have aged several years. I am exhausted. My physical body has held on to some masterful bullshit the last 9 months. But, I am also fully aware that some years feel like a decade while others are absolutely delicious full of magic and blessings.
This morning I woke extra earlier. I said my prayers, sat in meditation and wrote out things I desire next year. I am doing no intentions. I have absolutely zero expectations for what may come. I am letting go…. on various levels. I am just releasing it to be amused and entertained by the Universal surprises. I love surprises!
This past year has definitely shown me the strength of my human heart. It has allowed me to witness humanity from afar and up close and personal. One thing I’ve learned is that no one will take care of you the way you need to care for yourself. It’s your human and spiritual duty. And, I have shifted the blame game as well. No one, and I mean no one, is responsible for how you feel. That’s all on you. You get to decide who and what you allow to take away your joy.
It’s felt like a chess game at times, carefully moving on a board, with lots of calculations, as not to be deleted from the game. It has truly felt like the world got caught up on a massive web of intricate and dangerous moves. But, here we are. We are navigating it all together and I am beyond grateful for those around me.
Be kind to yourself. I haven’t always been kind to myself this year. I’ve beaten myself up for mistakes. I hold myself accountable for shit that isn’t even mine. I have degraded this miraculous soul of mine many times. I have not spoken up when I should’ve. So the only thing I will do next year is to put her first and foremost. It’s time. I love you. Go love yourself with the same ferocity you love others. I am doing it!