Navigating Through Grief

We are experiencing so much loss and grief during these times. Everywhere I turn around, including in sessions with clients, there is an underlining theme: Grief.

No matter what anyone says about grief…it is inexplicable. The pain cuts through the depth of the soul. Grief has no time limit, no expiration date, that shakes us up and relieves the pain. Loss is a riptide that causes a wave clearing everything in its path. We surf the deep waters of emotions wondering if we survive the heartbreak.

In order to love you must risk it all. Grief is a component of its circumstances because where there is love there may also be loss. Sorrow is a recycling sentiment that appears over and over in different events. It’s okay to let the emotions visit. I am always reminded of Rumi’s poem, The Guest House.

It’s okay to sit with the memories of the things we lose, the loved ones who have passed on, the things that will never be. What is not okay is to get stuck in those moments and live in that time. There will be days that the pain is so much that you feel death clawing at you. Other days you will be filled with the sweetness of gratitude for having had those moments in your life. 

We celebrate life in joy and in grief. We can also feel the losses of vitality, our children, jobs, and experiences. We get to choose gratitude for those experiences.

But when it comes to the loss of a loved one (or even the ending of a relationship) no matter what anyone says, grief doesn’t just vanish. It masks itself into something new and you recognize it the minute you experience the tug in your heart.  Do yourself a favor and don’t close up to love. Don’t shut yourself off from the world because you deserve to live through love again. It will never be like those that you experienced. It will have different lessons, perspectives and joy. Loss does something to make us believe that we will never live that way again.

Grief doesn’t just change you. It reveals the innermost part of your spirit. We’ve come here momentarily to love, learn and experience life. In the sadness of grief, comes the ability to rejoice and celebrate life to the fullest. So often we are consumed by mourning the death that we forget what lived in that person.  We also feel the loss of how it felt to be with that person. We focus on the missing rather than the stories of joy. The truth is that each soul who leaves us has always left a little part of themselves behind through memories. It’s from that other place that they start to reach out through dreams, songs, signs and synchronicity.

Rejoice in the stories of the past. Allow for grief to show you how much you loved. It’s okay to feel that mystifying sorrow. This is how you know that your love transcends through time and space. This is how you know that your loved one will help you find love again.

I love you,


2 thoughts on “Navigating Through Grief

  1. Oh, my dear “sista from a different mista”, you have no idea how very much I needed to read these words this morning! Yesterday was a month since our beloved Bogie’s horrible accident, and it felt fresh all over again. He was such a sweet, loving, happy pup; and it still hurts to the very depths of our souls to have lost him that way. The price of love is loss, or so “they” say. We will see him again one day. Meanwhile, when the time is right, Bogie will send us one of his baby brothers.

    Ducky must have seen his spirit last night as she suddenly started barking at something neither Sam nor I could see. Her eyes at first seemed focused on the picture of Bogie on Sam’s dresser, across from our bed; then on the bedroom doorway. (I firmly believe he had been in the bedroom with her.)

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