Jumping into the Unknown

Over 9 years ago I began to pay attention to the sound of change, the smell of new possibilities and the aches that come from truly trusting what I cannot initially see. It’s not always easy to surrender into the unknown. But, it is mystical. As the years have shown me, once I get out of my way there is change beyond my desires. That’s where I am right now. I am feeling the stretches of my knowing into the great release. I also know that I’m not the only one. The collective is feeling the stretching, the pulling, the endless desire for change. Somehow this time around I am navigating with such intensity that it’s driving my emotional body crazy. And, that’s okay too!

We are manifesting quicker than ever. I feel that timelines are merging and we are healing from past wounds faster. When we let go of those wounds we begin to make room for the magic of true purpose and desires. Someone asked me the other day, “But it would be easier to create if I knew what I wanted, right?” And she does know but it’s not concrete because her perception is still aligning with her new reality. That’s what’s happening across the board in many of our lives. The old paradigm is dissolving and we, as humans with heavy egos, need to label everything. We need to know and be in full certainty. So when things don’t add up to what we have known and believed, we think we are losing our minds.

We are expanding, growing and truly evolving into deeper beings of fuller awareness. Consciousness is connecting us to new tribes and people. We are attracting some amazing souls who are helping us reach our dreams. So, just know you aren’t alone navigating in that unknown. We are here for one another.

Buckle your seat belts and let go! Smell the magic happening all around you. I love you. And love is what is needed right now to shift into higher dimensions. It’s all in that open heart love connection. I’m here for you.

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Monsters

Car conversation with a 4 year-old early in the morning…
Kali: do monsters have bellies?
Me: monsters don’t exist.
Kali: do they have eyes?
Me: they don’t exist so they don’t have anything.
Kali: do they have mouths?
Me: Kali, monsters aren’t real. It’s a made up thing for television and entertainment.
Kali: They do exist. Do they have necks?
Me: Monsters aren’t real.
Kali: YEESSSSS they are.
Me: In a philosophical way… yes. They are real. There are bad people out there. But they didn’t start bad. They started with love. They came into this world with light and someone blew it out.
Kali: Why people create monsters then?
Me: (sighing….and then a mini rant longer than I can remember) Baby girl, monsters do exist. I’m sorry. They exist in anger and hatred. They exist in mental disorders and they are there to corrupt our world. They are fabricated in religions and stories to fill doubt in others. They instill fear and oppression but it’s mostly there for a lot of growth and balance. Where there is light there is also darkness. So, they do exist in a metaphoric term but not in a way you are thinking of when you watch television. That’s also there to create anxiety and despair. We live in a society that uses control mechanism through fear based subjects…and “monsters” are one of those ways. They don’t have giant heads and distorted bodies.
She then asked about Kali the Destroyer. Her daddy told her about Kali, the Hindu Goddess, and how she has the same name. He went on to tell her about her history the other day. She recited bits and pieces of what daddy told her. I was surprised she got a lot of it spot on. She wanted to know if she was a monster since she’s depicted with her tongue sticking out at times. I answered to the best of my ability.
Kali: so you see, they do exist, Mama!  Do they have tongues? Not Kali…she’s not a monster, right? But the rest of the monsters, do they have tongues?
Me: ugggghhhhh… silence.

The Ants Go Marching

When I was a little girl we lived in this tiny apartment in Hollywood, Florida. Four females in a one bedroom apartment. One small bathroom the size of a closet. I would spend time in the bathroom to give myself space alone.

There were these tiny ants (that my mother hated and tried everything to kill) go up and down the pink tile through the window. I would sit there and study them. They would make a straight line up and down, stopping to communicate, and keep going out the door of the bathroom. It was always the same two tiles and the same straight line.

I marveled at the stories they would whisper to each other. And if there was a crumb they would carry it to each other. They worked together as a tribe. Sometimes passing the weight on to another ant coming the opposite direction.

I would close my eyes and prayed that when I grew up I could be strong like them, resilient and committed. I dreamt of having a tribe who would let me know of danger ahead or when to let go and allow another to pick me up. I wanted friends who showed me the way without manipulating the path. I desired non judgment, competition, or jealousy. I wanted what those ants had.

As young as 11 years old I recognized the importance of a village. It took till my mid-forties to find one. I looked for the ant-like tribe for years. I admired it in others. I would create scenes of life stories while watching “Friends” or “Seinfeld.” I believed it wasn’t a myth. I would someday have what those ants had in my little imagination.

Once I stopped filtering myself I attracted the most powerful village of loving folks who wanted nothing from me but love. Once I became vulnerable they showed up. They have supported me, helped me, created with me, and allowed me to grow spiritually.

We are all trying to find our way home while believing that we are all alone. We are not. Sometimes folks come into our circle for ten years. Other times for ten days or ten hours. People are mirrors of your soul. Not everyone will stay forever. But when they do they help move mountains, carry your spirit through rocky waters, help elevate you and you are no longer alone. You become a circle with no beginning or ending just sustaining each other through it all.

Thank you to my little ants who help me get from here to there. I love you. And to all those others I am yet to meet along the path! 🐜🐜🐜

Join Me

I have spent several hours in meditation. I’ve gone deep into the wilderness and other realms. I have found that there is static all over the place. Something is happening.

There is a collective sadness. There is much anger. There is exhaustion. And add that times millions and we have an epidemic.

I don’t know how to help. I keep asking. I don’t know what I can write that will help start the release and healing. I don’t know how to hold you if I’m here. But…

I believe in mindfulness. In sacredness. In the profound effects of love and forgiveness. I believe in Divine guidance and universal forces.

I cannot tell you how to begin healing. Or letting go. Or surrendering the hurt and anger. It’s collective. I can, however, hold space with you from here.

We’ve been packing to move next week. I took down my altar (which should had been the last thing I needed to pack). It’s somewhere in boxes. My prayer box is in there with the “tools” I use to help others heal. Tonight I am not writing names. There are millions. I am simply collecting the energies and frequencies while recycling them to upgrade into love.

I might sound like a childish broken record on my posts….but just love. Love with what and who and where you are. Love heals. You cannot love and hate simultaneously. You cannot stand in darkness and call it love. Compassion and kindness are flames of pure light. Let’s start there.

I am holding you tonight. In this realm and others. Prayers are waves of yummy frequencies. They reach the heavens and all the places beyond.

Join me…with each conscious breath of just stating the love to the world we make ripples in the fabric of the universe.

No Small Talk

This over and over. I want to talk about consciousness, manifesting, Faith, the universe, travel, God, and all that opens me up to joy. I want to laugh and cry with you from the place of complete vulnerability. I don’t want to hear about negativity or stagnation. I don’t care for complaints that stop you from truly evolving spiritually. I crave the stories that push me to think louder and ask even deeper questions. I want to hear about your babies, your memories and what gets you up in the morning. I want to know of your great love affairs and who stole your heart the most. Anything else is senseless and doesn’t fill me. “What’s Up” is insignificant. Give me the heart and love of what makes you human. That’s what I want to feel, touch, hear and know.

It is all about Love!

I want you to put your hand over your heart area. I want you to close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Become aware of your rhythm. Your heart is not the place of love. It’s the place of life. It pumps blood to your body. Now I want you to think of how you feel when you are with loved ones, when you are touched and caressed, when you are held in gratitude. That feeling comes from your mind…from the deepest part of consciousness. It is the essence of soul.

We get to decide who and what we love because we are love. I’ve never understood why the heart was associated with love because I feel it all over. I feel it in my head and in my toes. I feel it when I hear stories or hold a friend in need. I feel it in hugs and words and silence.

Everything in my life is about reaching the highest vibration of soulfulness…which is love.

Darlings, your heart gives you life. Your consciousness expands through love. You are LOVE. We are connected through it. It isn’t a hippie-fied movement. It’s the awakening to truth.

~m.a.p.