Category: Essay

Take the Chances

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At the end of your life you will not regret the lack of another degree, not having bought the little red sports car, not getting that expensive house, not having enough money in the bank. You will regret not having spent more time in nature, holding a friend’s hand in need, missing your child’s recital, not taking walks with your love. You might feel ashamed for the time not spent with Divinity, kisses from your children, hugs from your parents, and sweet words from a lover. You will wonder why you didn’t sit and relaxed more, breathed the earth deeply, and allowed each moment to count. The things most important in life have nothing to do with money, winning, status or work. They have to do with love, sharing and other moments invaluable to your spirit. The first and only person you need to answer to is yourself. Give each moment the degree of importance it needs to be cherished and enjoyed. Be present in your conversations, visits, and life. Take those chances and live your life with fierce love. For yourself and for everyone you meet.

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Consciousness

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“Consciousness is the highest word you will ever utter.” -Michael A. Singer

Here we are experiencing the expansion of consciousness. Every single day. Lately more intense than other times. Some folks aren’t handling it well. It’s that extreme! The more empathetic you are the harder it feels to stay grounded.

So we feel it in the physical body. We feel it in our emotional stories. We are navigating some amazing times and it’s conjuring up lots of release of old paradigms.

It’s okay. You are shedding cellular memories. You are becoming a new you.

Stop beating yourself up for the past. Stop replaying the stories from yesteryears. Stop trying to make the past fit into your present life, and adjusting it to recreate in the future. Whatever belief you have will manifest quickly so be mindful of what you want. Energy doesn’t lie and it also doesn’t decipher from negative or positive. It attaches to all that is happening now. We are evolving and ascending to higher realms of consciousness.

If you are struggling recognize that you aren’t alone. We are here for each other. Reach out please. Sending love to all.

Just Allow Love to Be

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Last night my heart felt a small crack of old brokenness. I allowed for it. I was deeply hurt by a loved one who continues to love me in her own manner but I expect her to love me differently. After a few hours I let it go. After release of tears I forgave my own heart for desiring things to be differently.

She loves me the way she knows how to love. It’s demoralizing and unacceptable for me to expect her love as I love. It’s also not fair to her for me to expect anything. It’s my shit. Not hers.

So I truly let go of the expectation of what love should look like. From children. From family. From friends. From my mate. I love as I love. That’s it. To expect otherwise is egotistical and irresponsible. That’s a personality and labeling that does me no justice.

Love because that’s your job. And let go because that’s also your job.

Love you!

Listen Attentively

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I lost hearing in my right ear the summer of 2015. It happened like a giant boom in my head. I woke up with static and then it felt like an explosion. It didn’t hurt. It didn’t sting. It just felt like nothing was coming in. A doctor checked it out and suggested drops. There was no permanent damage. I feel I just stopped listening to things that were happening around me. I started to tune out and it became permanent.

Throughout the last few years I’ve had moments when I felt sensations. I’ve had energy work done to it and sound has started to move through in those moments. I don’t really pay attention to it until someone is mumbling, or they speak really low, or they aren’t in front of me so I can read their lips. That’s when I realize that the sound is being muffled.

My hearing came back this past April while climbing Machu Picchu in Peru. But I am still well aware and grateful for all that my lack of hearing taught me.

I have learned to listen attentively. I’ve always listened to silence so this is not unusual. Because, I feel, more than I hear, the listening part doesn’t affect me. However, sometimes I really really really want to get lost in a conversation and if there are too many voices going on at once I zone out because one ear cannot hold onto everything at once. In order to really listen I must be present.

This is with everything in our lives. It isn’t just about listening or hearing. It’s also about seeing, smelling, and tasting. I live in a world of words, and when I cannot decipher what is being said, I get frustrated. When I ask someone to repeat themselves sometimes the message gets tangled because that person is now frustrated for having to say it again. My left ear had to compensate for really hearing all sounds but it also started to lose some of its power. It now takes all of me to be present when someone is speaking to me and I want to hear every syllable…because what is being said is important.

This was a huge gift in my life. Now, being able to hear with both ears I am aware of how precious the lessons were for me.

Being attentive is an art I learned through the small challenge. I had to partake completely rather than multitask. I had to be in complete focus to hear the things said and those that escape the ears. Losing my hearing was such a gift. It has allowed me to stop everything else around me in order to see, feel, and digest what is being said. It has also magnified other senses around me to make up for loss. This has been magnificent.

I urge you to be present when another is speaking. And if I, or anyone else, asks that you repeat yourself please be patient. The moment someone who can’t hear feels another person’s frustration everything shuts down. I get embarrassed often when someone shows me their frustration for repetition, so I’ve learned to nod and smile rather than continue asking. Somethings get lost in that translation.

Listen with your heart…and the ears never need to find sound. These days I am listening with my emotions rather than anything else. Even in your silence I can decipher what you are feeling…so if I hold your hand for no reason it is because my heart feels you and hears your aches. It’s in those intimate moments when you are near me that I can truly see your words in the language of love. I love you. ~m.a.p.

The Lonely Journey

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When asked about the common subjects people talk to me about I always say “Love and Spirit.” People will share their love and stories without filter. It’s a given! They will unload information in a heart beat.

The second subject is always along the lines of spiritual deprivation. Folks are in need of magic, mysticism, miracles, and faith. They want to know that there are others out there with the same curiosity and open-conscious level of understanding. They want to know that this is just not all of it…you know, the concept of living just to pay bills. Because, frankly, it’s not!

I am blessed to know (and my list continues to grow) hundreds of spiritual people. They are from all walks of life: Christians, Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, and even non-denominational. I also know many religious folks who come across as spiritual but in truth they are all mind and no heart. To me spirituality is having a compassionate heart tied to a faith in something greater than ourselves that is non-violent and non-judgmental. If you are judging, criticizing and pointing all sorts of fingers to another while reciting God’s name, well darling, you aren’t spiritual. You are something else. Unfortunately there are a lot of religions based on the mastery of manipulation and the heart has to be taken out of the equation. You cannot love and hate at the same time. Impossible!

Ah…the beauty of entertaining like-minded souls is in the allowance. We are able to openly discuss many subjects of the conscious mind. I notice there is still a massive disconnection. We are suffering from spiritual deprivation. I know they are millions feeling this massive shift of awareness, however, due to the overwhelming negativity of the pointing-fingers syndrome, no one discusses their faith with anyone. No one wants to be ridiculed. No one wants to die. The deprivation grows larger and before you know we are all scattered and left to fend for ourselves and spirit.

Spirituality is a lonely path. My steps cannot be walked by you and vice versa. We can, however, compare the paths. We can discuss the different ways we come into prayer, contemplation and meditation. We can share experiences that are beyond this realm. We can go deep into conversations about stars, planets, and cosmic energy. We can trust in each other when someone shares something that is fantastic and magical. Just because you haven’t experienced it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I haven’t experienced homelessness but I sure believe in it. I haven’t experienced war but I now it’s there. So, these are folks that want more. They crave for spiritual knowledge. They eat, sleep, watch and read all sorts of information trying to rationalize or enrich their faith. For centuries religions have done this. It’s part of our DNA, we must grow into the unknown. It’s pretty sad that in today’s world we can still be deprived by the simplest forms of human needs: mind, body and spirit.

I don’t have answers on how to find more spiritual connections. I really haven’t a clue. At least ten times a week I get a message from someone asking for spiritual retreats, meet-ups, or just comments on wanting connections with Spirit. I can only tell you that at times what you are looking for in others is right inside of you if you just sit long enough to listen.

I am determined to raise my vibration to the highest form of love and dispel negative emotions. When I’m having a bad day, or worrying over crap, I need to quiet the ego bitchiness and center myself to what matters. I have to return to Source. I enter quietude through meditation or writing or just being in nature. It’s in those moments that Spirit visits me. It’s in those precious minutes that the universe cradles me with unbelievable forms of awareness through love. And, it’s also in those times that forgiveness arrives and I can let go of all that is causing me such turmoil and chaos. I walk away feeling like me. I am still a spiritual being having a human experience. I am choosing to make it less dense with emotional baggage.

You have the answers to all your spiritual questions. You carry with you the spiritual knowledge to change, feed and enhance your life through divine guidance. You are all there is. Sure it’s awesome to share with others. Heck yeah! It’s comforting to know you aren’t bat-ass crazy and the looney farm has a room with your name on it waiting for you to check yourself in. That’s always wonderful to acknowledge.

Likes attract likes. If you want more spiritually grounded individuals in your life you have to become one yourself without the fear of being scrutinized. You also have to look around your circle and realize when you have to let go of toxic energy. You have to put yourself in the arms of respect and self-worth. What good will it do you to find spiritual folks and then return to a place that destroys the yummy energy?

Go love you. Go believe in yourself. Go be spiritual through the forest, by the shoreline, over the desert, on a mountain top. I’m so glad we have each other. Now go be the yummiest version of you. Just BE! You got this!

Cycles and Stories

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We move through cycles of what was and what is. And, somewhere in between lies the illusion that these things make us whole and become our stories. Your story might be raw and full of pain, or it might consist of happiness and delightful moments. You have been embraced by love and lovers (past and present), but in the end it is this very second that glues us together. You have lost a loved one to death or just the ending of a relationship and it hurts like hell but you are still here surfing the ebb of deep waters.

This is Sacred Presence.

This is part of expansion.

This is a raw and vulnerable ability to stay here and share while connecting to another by saying, “I am here for you. You are not alone. I understand. I have experienced something similar. Or, I haven’t and it is beautiful how you are moving with grace, strength and faith.”

Yes, these are the moments that make us whole through the veil of life. These are the days that move through us in the subconscious with changes and growth. We don’t know it but there’s a shift inside. This new year is one full of growth and adventure. You have been tested for so long that you have forgotten what it is to just be in sacred presence.

We can’t look back and know when things changed and we gave up but they are there. Today I am making changes to a new opportunity to find joy in the little things. These non-judgmental days of self awareness are huge mile markers.

Today…Tomorrow…Every single morning is an opportunity for me to expand my heart and consciousness.

Keep searching for your truth. It isn’t always pretty or perfect or without some hurt…but it is your truth. These are the things that have created your humanness to continue expanding in our world. The conscious shift in knowing and acceptance is evolving within you always. And how MARVELOUS you are, darling! Go be all that greatness you are meant to be!!!! Together we make some yummy magic. Mucho love.

Be Soft with You

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Be soft with your spirit. Be gentle with your essence. BE authentic to your purpose and calling. Rid yourself from the negative self-talk. You become everything you say that you are or that you are not. We are born every day, every minute, every second. We are here on borrowed time. Make it lovingly serene with your heart so that you can present your soul lovingly to another. This struggle is all bullshit at the end of the day. It doesn’t matter what you did or haven’t done. This moment, wasted reading this, or contemplating what hasn’t been scratched off your To Do List, is all irrelevant.

Really…this is nonsense. All the fake-ness of pretending and showing others a different person in order to fit in society. I want to know YOU…the real you that cries in your car, gets giddy at the first dog you see in the street…the YOU that loves the moon and stars.

There are folks losing their jobs, their homes, and families. There are others sitting alone in a hospital room watching a loved one fight for their lives. While some others are in the petty claws of political and religious arguments on social media…life is happening out there. Life is happening in here. Life is a series of ongoing movements and motions reminding us that we get to pick the perception and reaction.

I don’t know why bad things happen. I don’t know why anything happens. I would like to believe it’s for the evolution of our higher self. I would like to believe it’s part of a larger design. Who truly knows at this point? I have to be led by faith and that onset programming of a higher body of spirit guiding me.

What I do know is that we need one another. We need a tribe. We need love. YES…lots of love and to turn on our hearts to accept and spread it.

We need to know that we aren’t alone in the path of obstacles and challenges. We need to get out of our own head space and truly feel the vibration of another who is part of the overall conscious mass and start shifting towards changing the negatives to positives.

Hold a friend’s hand in need. Hug your lover as if it was the last time. Kiss those kids tightly. Smile at a stranger. Open doors for an elderly person. Compliment a cashier. Delete the toxic folks out of your life. If they don’t raise you then they have taught you something. It’s time to move on. Use your energy wisely. Just get out of your freaking head and lovingly give to another who needs to feel that the illusion of loneliness is not drowning their existence. It matters. It all matters to that one human who is struggling with life.

Stop the craziness of self doubt and anxiety because there is no way you leave this life alive. STOP focusing on the lack of anything and start creating by living in joy. So…live for yourself with honor, love, and compassion. You don’t own this blue planet alone. I am here. You are here. Let’s be here together in peace and harmony. Let’s be raised by love and light. We got this! ~m.a.p.