We are being shaken up to wake in truth. The shift is happening in a large scale. We are women, mothers, sisters, daughters and friends. We are the divine feminine rising in masses. We are the divine masculine holding steady and raising the frequency as well.
Stay in love and do not allow fear to consume you. This is happening on a massive collective soul level. Together we can heal and help the world heal. When one voice is heard it echoes across the world. So imagine what millions of beautiful voices speaking truth can do to release old wounds? Regardless of what the media shares we continue to show the world that truth prevails. And more than anything the light we continue to carry towards one another transcends this moment.
We are making history every single second. This is one of the most powerful times ever. We are witnessing our strengths in numbers. I am healing my own traumas and deep treacherous memories. I hear from so many who are finally releasing as well. I don’t remember any other time in my life that has pushed us to stand in our convictions.
So thank you for your bravery, your allowance, your spiritual expansion. Thank you to all the women and men for staying open. I stand in awed of the magic we are creating.
I met Nikki in Starbucks this morning. She was three people behind me in the line. Once I ordered I walked towards her and whispered, “I’m sure you get this a lot but you are absolutely gorgeous.”
She looked into my eyes and told me she didn’t.
“What’s wrong with people?” I asked smiling.
“Thank you so much for that compliment.” Her eyes began to tear up. “I don’t feel well today.”
“Girl, you fake it well.” I asked her for a hug and she began to cry.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, sweetheart! It’s only one day. You fake it well. Actually that’s such shit, you know. That whole statement of faking it till you make it. It’s like stomping vulnerability in fear that the world will witness your humanity!”
She cried while nodding in agreement. I reached for her hands.
“Talk to me. Tell me what’s aching in that tender heart?”
She shared right there in line, after she placed her order. She let go briefly of something so harsh and it came out in small syllables. So we hugged. We connected. I told her it was one day. It was one month. It was just life but that came short of what truly aches in her. I will never know the entire story and I don’t care to. What I know is that she was hurting.
I felt the break. I kissed her cheek and told her I would send her loving light and prayers. She accepted them. And just like that it was over.
It only takes one second to smile or reach towards another. She needed that release. I happened to be the catalyst and it could have been anyone.
Mary Oliver’s line is always one I use to remind myself that in darkness there are gifts just as many as in light. It’s all how you show up and allow for the lessons to unfold. Don’t let one situation dictate your entire life. Life fluctuates between the dark and the light… and they are both encompass by love.
Something happens among strangers who aren’t trying to impress or move through egotism. There’s a mystical connection and awareness through a touch, a word, small conversation or a glance. Life simply exists without the expectation of fulfilling the other. Strangers dive into the rarest form of freedom and many times without filtering truth. At least this happens with me a lot and I dance in the union of such moments.
Not long ago I went to Goodwill to drop off stuff and decided to go in to get my daughter something for her computer. As I was kneeling in the electronic area I heard the most beautiful melodic male voice singing along to the store’s music. He was right behind me. Without getting up or turning around I said to him, behind me, “You have one of the loveliest voices I’ve ever heard!” I got up and looked at a gentleman in his late 60’s or early 70’s.
He kindly said, “Wow, thank you! When I was younger I sang all the time. I have had cancer three times and with it and the chemo my voice has disappeared.” He shared a glimpse to his story.
At that very moment I got closer to him, looked into the depth of his brown eyes and said, “You are a gift to still be standing here and singing with such hope. You are a miracle. How very awesome to walk near death but continue this journey of faith and humanity!”
The man smiled, began to tear up as I could witness he was having an Aha Moment. I could see his humanness and ego take a backseat. I could see in seconds through the glances that his wheels were turning reacting to memories, the journey, and events.
“I can’t tell you what your words have meant to me right now,” He began to speak as he composed his spirit. “I have rarely been grateful for anything, less this horrible disease until you just said this. Thank you!”
I smiled, touching his hand in mine, “Keep on singing! You touch others with that magical voice. You touched me.”
He hugged me and dropped the items from his hands on the shelf and left the store gathering his tears through his fingers. I felt horrible for a second but knew the message didn’t come from me. This message of gratitude was something the Divine needed to share with this man through sacredness. As I sat in my car I began to shed tears for my own gratitude. I, too, walk here in a journey of faith and hope.
This stranger’s spirit touched the core of me. I needed his song to move me just as much as he needed to hear words of encouragement. What a mystical union for us both! I am forever touched by strangers, their kindness, wisdom, laughter, smiles, and stories. We are all connected holding the earth up with love, stories, and hope.
With all the storms, fires, anger, sorrow, loss, and uncertainties we truly need to come together to remind each other of the simple things. We need to remember what is important. We need acknowledgment and honoring. I am appreciative for these Angels who come into my life daily to remind me of love and what’s important on this journey. We get to decide what we focus on every single day. Let’s make it magical!
When my second son, Patrick, was about 11 or 12 years old he got in trouble with his English teacher. Pat has always been an inquisitive and empathic soul. He has always desired to know the why’s, how’s and what’s of everything.
Now imagine this call from the school: “Patrick has been disrespectful to me today and I won’t stand for it any longer. I need you to come in and have a meeting with me and the principal.”
Next morning I was there with Patrick and the teachers. I had already heard what had happened from him. Mrs. Hernandez was pregnant and only a month away from giving birth.
“Patrick looked at me yesterday and in the middle of class asked me how it felt to have someone inside of me.”
I explained that Pat was fascinated with her pregnancy. He had watched the miracle of life every day and her stomach growing. What he intended to say, which he failed to do, was ask how it felt to have a new life inside of her stomach. My son sat there and shared deeply with the principal and teacher. Their eyes watered as he went on to discuss the beauty of being a woman, the power of giving life to this world, and the exquisiteness of creation.
It wasn’t pornographic as she thought. It was fantastic to see a young man wonder about the human body and the miracle of creation. He shared that “this miracle is something men will never get to experience. My mother had me and my brother and she adopted 4 more children because her body couldn’t make anymore babies…. We are all miracles because of women.”
I have never forgotten that moment sitting in that school at 7am. When I see a pregnant woman I always think of my son (and he’s 34 y/o). And I think daily of the amazing creators that we are even if we don’t give birth to a child.
We are magical beings. We have the power to hold divinity within us. And not just in birthing children, but in creating a life through authentic purpose. We are magnificent at constructing dreams and supporting others through love. We are mothers, daughters, teachers and lovers of the world. And together we are rising to make the world a better place for those we leave behind.
I was meeting a friend for dinner the other evening and as I was going in, a nice elderly man was coming out. He stopped for a second, holding on to his cane. He said, “You have two things going on with you today.”
I smiled not quite grasping where he was going with that.
“Your dress and your smile.”
I smiled wider, ear to ear. He smiled and I hugged him. I could smell his memories in an instant, his hand gently touching mine. I could feel his youth pouring out of his heart. I sensed a loss and sadness that, for a moment, it all brought tears to my eyes. No real exchange followed but a gratitude for his words. I am great at handing out compliments, but it’s not always easy for me to receive, especially from a man. The thing is that the moment he said it, about the smile, I felt a crack in my heart. I knew I reminded him of someone. I felt his heart beat against mine when I hugged him.
It was a brief encounter. The best ones usually are because they linger without pretenses. They are real and authentic.
You never know how you touch someone. You never know how one softhearted look can help another feel seen. And words… ah, those words full of kindness and love always reach the core of our existence. I love you. Be gentle with you and spread that love like wild fire all around you.
Healing happens sometimes unexpectedly. Other times it requires a lot of purging, digging and yuckiness.
It is painful. And who wants that?
It’s emotional. It’s physical. And it’s spiritual. All of it combined with our programming, personality, beliefs and perception. Everything comes up and we don’t know what is real and how we proceed.
But what’s the alternative? To sit in denial? Or with guilt? Every so often dive into shame and grief?
We don’t know until we release. We don’t feel freedom until we let go. We don’t begin to truly heal until we forgive.
That forgiveness is not for another. That forgiveness is for you.
You will begin to recognize years, or a lifetime, of self-sabotage and repression being lifted. We are our worst enemy at times.
How can we help one another? By sharing. By being authentic and vulnerable. Together we can rewrite and heal old wounds. You don’t have to do it alone if you don’t want to. It’s okay…that’s why we are friends.
But I would love the chance to sit in sacredness with you and allow you to truly let go. If you are interested in a session please go to the link below.
(Google image since I could not take a picture of the man.)
This morning on my way to take the kids to camp, I watched a young man, half-naked, on the side of the interstate yelling at the trees and sky. It was right before 7AM. My windows were down and as I passed him I heard, “F*cK You!” as his fists were pointing upward.
I had this sensation of stopping, but I had the kids. And I am not part of this man’s story. A piece of me marveled at the ability to shout out to the Heavens, that raw vulnerability (even if he was strung out on something) to say exactly what he was feeling.
Most of us don’t.
We bury the pain or the anger. We bulldoze over it. We expect things will change and get angry when they don’t. We demand, beg, plead and complain about it.
Whenever I’ve had enough, I climb the tallest mountain around here early enough not to bump into anyone. When I get to the top, I sit on the largest boulder. The cows on that field surround me. Then I yell to the top of my lungs. I don’t stop till I feel the energy move through me. I sit for a bit. I may cry. I may write. I may just close my eyes and allow the sensations of nature embody me. I become still, smelling the earth, tasting the wind, hearing my heart beat.
I watched this man today and recognized it is time for another trip up the mountain. Those releases are powerful. I had a special pillow for one of my children when she was small so that she could hit it and yell. It was just a way for her to stabilize her little emotional body. Sometimes it was exactly what she needed. Other times it made it worst. We always found a happy medium.
This man needed this today. He had enough (or not enough). Who knows!
Today, allow yourself to feel what needs to move through you. Lock yourself in the car and yell. Scream in a pillow. Allow the energy to move through you and don’t filter it, avoid it, or reject it. Our bodies are transitioning with all the collective madness. If you can’t give yourself permission to let it out, your physical body begins to absorb it all in toxic ways. Self-care is also about releasing the things that haunt you.
We are a funny race! We only seem to grow through shit. We expand and push ourselves when we have learned some powerful crappy lessons. We are wild flowers being pushed from the toxic waste into the light. You aren’t alone on this journey. I have been in the pits of toxicity for a while. We are blossoming from all the past challenges that got us there. Let’s shine! This shi(f)t is needed in order to raise the frequency of this planet.
Your ability to connect to Source is a gift. We all have that ability. We are spiritual beings having human experiences. It is all embedded in our DNA. Some people have that ability louder than others. Others tune into it and strengthen the abilities by consciously working at expanding the gifts. I hear people say, “Nope, I don’t have that!”
Do you think of a song right before it comes on the radio? Do you think of someone and they call you? Have you thought about something and moments later it shows up? Every single day you are being guided by your intuition without your awareness!
You may not call it “intuition.” You may just have a “gut” feeling. Our solar plexus (the gut) stores all our divine knowings. We are moved through gut in deciding things.
The thing that blocks our abilities to connect with Spirit/Source/God is old beliefs/programming. Whenever we get out of our own way, we begin to tap into the realm of consciousness. The ego is a fantastic source for making sure we don’t deviate from our humanness. Its main job is to keep us safe. And, it also reinforces all the belief systems you have known for most of your life. Ego loves to tap into the emotional body. Intuition is the higher consciousness of the vessel you call “the body.”
I have been having these major expansions the last few months. Sometimes I am awakened in the middle of the night with clarity beyond any other time in my life. Like I feel this incredible connection to everything. Then I go back to sleep and in the morning my little itty-bitty ego starts to argue with the messages I received. These days I am gentler with trying to shut ego up. I recognize I need to just sit me down and allow for the uncertainties, traumas, and whatever humanness comes up. Once I address Ego with love, the spiritual part of me flourishes. I rely on the knowing rather than the chit-chat of the emotional body.
Are you experiencing these shifts? I hear from so many that they are going through all these moments that feel like massive timeline shifts. You are not alone. I promise. We are living in the most incredible times in history. And because of these, you may feel isolated and alone. That, my darlings, is Ego. Lean into your knowing.
I found something last week while at the retreat in Mexico: my value and my fire. I have been valuing my worth based on the woman I was for so many years in my marriage; the woman who wasn’t seen or appreciated. I am not that woman any longer. The ability to devalue ourselves supersedes any other value others place on us.
No more! No mas!
I sat around with those incredible successful women and the first few days I felt like an imposter. I was once them. I was in the corporate world, making tons of money, living a life of luxury. Twelve years ago I ran away from my life by coming up to the mountains and buying a rundown motel with the dream of turning it into a retreat center. I experienced hardship like never before. I was stripped from everything and found my spirituality front and center. It became the catalyst for my beliefs now. Even after I left that business I felt something else was missing.
It was me. I was the missing link!
Then I settled. I settled into a life that was harder than it needed to be and I worked at it really well. I was tenacious in my pursuit to just settle into someone else’s beliefs. And there, in that space, I forgot my worth. Do you recognize this? I see this in so many of my sessions.
I walked the beach in Chacala several times a day. Sometimes alone, other times in the arms of a woman, as I listened to their stories. We are all connected. We all struggle. We have all worked hard to become who we are. I worked really hard to fit a certain ideology of the woman I had been for years. And that woman is no more.
From here on I will be working on my business as if it was a business and not some hobby. I need to make a life for me and these two little ones that gives me the opportunity to help others without staying in struggling mode.
A friend said this to me a few months ago: “You are gifted beyond measures but you still think you aren’t worth it. It’s like when you lose a ton of weight and you still look for clothes in that larger size. You don’t recognize that you are smaller. That is how you see yourself, as if you don’t have something valuable to give someone. Get out of the big-sized clothes and see your worth in your business….” This didn’t really hit me until this past week.
My website sacredjourneyinward.com is going to be shifting as well. My prices need to increase as everything around our economy has as well. I have a unique way of sharing space with my clients. I can share more in a half hour than a lot of people do in an hour. The information comes through quickly and efficiently. Somehow I have devalued my worth based on how easily it comes through. That is a gift and a blessing. And like an artist, it is unique to me.
I will also be creating classes online. My book, Erasable, is now being worked on by my publisher. I have two more that I am editing to also get published. I am venturing into public speaking (which is a massive change from being in hiding). I am coaching a lot more these days as well. I am stretching, growing, and expanding emotionally and spiritually. I don’t always recognize this new worth, but I am trusting it and moving with it. It is overdue!
Thank you for sticking with me. I have had so many Aha moments in the past week. The one that sticks out the most is my deep awareness of how I mother the world. I love. I am a social servant and so are you. Below is a beautiful piece by Jaiya John which will resonate with you!
Moments with Millie 