Category: Essay

Changing Perspective

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About 21 years ago my ex and I hit a horrific financial pitfall. We owned an Industrial Distribution company and when 9/11 hit we pretty much lost A LOT in the stock market. Just like millions, we lost the ability to trust in what we couldn’t see. I ended up moving from South Florida to Central Florida with six kids while he stayed behind to salvage what was left. I worked on the business from my tiny rental home. Slowly we began to figure out how to navigate the storms.

That Thanksgiving there wasn’t much money. A week before the holiday, I woke one morning to a voice in my little head that clearly stated to help those in need in Orlando. Truth be told I was one of the needy ones. I went into meditation and I was shown exactly what needed to be done. I wrote a list.

I went to the Dollar store and bought all sorts of food and created 20 baskets. I went into our glass-change jar for this. After a few days I took the baskets to the police station in the worst area and asked the officer to please distribute to whomever he thought needed it most. I explained they needed to have children and/or elderly folks. I had written notes in each basket with personal love cards from God.

He asked if I wanted to schedule a right-along. I told them that I felt he had it. I didn’t need to be there.

Because I followed Guidance, that Thanksgiving ended up being absolutely beautiful. A week later money began to come into our accounts from sources I didn’t even know. We had food. We had shelter. We had health. We had the necessities.

What changed? My perception of the situations.

How did I overcome the loss of our home, the deterioration of our business? I walked one step at a time into the sacred journey. I was held tightly in a conviction that Spirit was guiding me.

It’s in the moments of despair that we find strength. It’s in those moments of uncertainty that Faith shows up and holds our hands. It’s those challenges that teach us how to trust in something omnipotent. We are never quite broken as much as fractured for a bit. We heal and we rise. We are absolutely a tenacious bunch.

Gratitude opens us up to abundance (and this doesn’t necessarily mean money, it could be health, joy, ease, etc.). You don’t have to literally give anything. You can sit and send prayers to those in your life, to the planet, to your ancestors. I sit with 12 months of wonderful experiences, especially the challenging events, and recognize their lessons.

For so many of us, the last few years have actually changed us into new versions of ourselves. We have been polished into new beings because of those experiences.

I love you. Be kind always. Stay in the moment of wonderous gratitude and watch how the Universe/God/Guidance show up in return.

I am deeply grateful for your presence!

Millie

You are a Reflection of Love

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The day will come when you won’t be looking for faith outside of you. When you will stop looking for God in temples and religion. You will notice the Divine staring back from the reflection in the mirror. You will see it smiling at you in a homeless person or a loved one taking their last breath. You will find Source in your children as they laugh out loud. You will feel spirit in the kiss from your mate. You will finally recognize our connections and how important it is to be kind and compassionate to everyone even when they don’t accept it. You will find the silence and ability to walk away. You will feel divinity in nature and inhale her wisdom.

You will accept yourself fully and all the power of infinite love.

It is then when you have reached the loving understanding of your purpose through unbounded love. The expectations of anything outside of yourself will dissolve around you.

You will see you. And you will walk this earth seeing love and compassion in all things without judgment. You will feel the truth of your existence.

I see you. I feel you. I know the God in you is also the God in me. I love you.

Millie

Finding Happiness

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Seven years ago today, I had the most amazing pleasure of attending a reading, along with Q&A, for Elizabeth Gilbert’s new book Big Magic. It was indeed magical. Listening to her speak is like being with a close friend. She’s down to earth and approachable. What you see is what you get! Some of the audience’s questions felt like subjects I have questioned myself on many occasions.

Gilbert stood on stage gracefully, and honestly, answering to the best of her spiritual wisdom. I went home floored. I’ve read the book about creativity but this event was more for my heart to open and remember what’s important. There are questions that hit home: What is truth and how do you live by it always?

We fear hurting someone else. But, when we stand in our own light of truth it is important to stay there. Allowing others to tarnish and use your kindness, creativity, or whatever is not living an authentic life. She said at some point that “self-care requires a great amount of self-discipline.” We deviate from our rituals to make others happy. We go-go-go and refuse to take time for ourselves.

Here’s the thing that I have learned and at times I forget: DO NOT, by any means, allow another to steal your joy and happiness. Do not dive into the waters of a martyr or a victim because of circumstance, events, or toxic people. Do not participate in drama unless you want a Masters in Fine Arts degree from those people who will bring you down to low frequencies while making you forget who you are. Do not, by any means, avoid your heart’s yearning so another person can feel better. Live life with self-love and self-care. It’s imperative that you listen to your voice, that small echo that cries in your dreams, that whispers in the shower, that sings in the car… forcing you to chase happiness.

I remember years ago I read a quote in a restaurant while sitting on a toilet. Someone had written it on the back of the door: “Happiness is HELL for victims.” For a few moments I stared at it thinking, “Wow, what possessed someone to write that in here? What would cause a soul the need to write something so powerful and remind others how important happiness can be for our essence?” I kept thinking of the woman and what she must have been enduring.

So, with that in mind BE Joyful! BE happy. Most importantly BE truthful with your word and your spirit. I love you!

Millie

It’s Happening

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Oh my goodness!

It’s becoming real! Just got off a Zoom meeting with my publisher. My memoir: Erasable, has a tentative publishing date of 1/11/23 (which is my favorite number 111). It’s almost here.

It took me 20 years to write this book. T-w-e-n-t-y! It has been a labor of love, vulnerability, trust, courage, and acceptance. In the process it has released and healed me. Each word navigates my sacred journey from invisibility to clarity.

I cannot wait to have it in my hands and available for you to read it.

Woohoo! It’s happening. I am giddy… can you tell?

I am beyond grateful for the support from my community.

I love you…Millie

The Connection of Everything

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I came out of a soft meditation re-entering this world with complete openness and vulnerability. I opened my eyes to the candles in front, engulfed by the darkness of early morning. It’s a sacred time. My favorite time of the day.

I moved my hand towards my chest patting the soft thump of movement.

Deep breaths.

Deep awareness.

I returned to what I know.

I hear the world at 3am. It’s quite different than any other time. It’s magical. The sounds from earth are therapeutic and of higher vibration. In that silence you can feel the connection of everything. You and I are not separate. There is no distinction of distance. There is only unity and connection.

The rain was thumping on the glass door. I opened up the blinds, and even though it was pitch black, I could see the silhouettes of the water.

I returned to my presence.

I bow my head in gratitude. A new day has arrived. I will do my best to help. I don’t know how it will show up. I don’t know who I will serve with love and kindness. My only job is to just show up.

I’m here. Sending healing to all the areas that are fractured or hurting. I’m here to help shift the conscious mayhem of social fear. I’m here to help love you even if you don’t feel lovable. You are magnificent. I will keep reminding you.

I’m just here… With you… Together in love!

Millie

Loving Simple Things

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There are so many events in my life… single moments that scream “pay attention right now!” These stretches of time give, take, and release into the universe the joy of being me. I love them as they alone stand in shifting my awareness from too much to the NOW. It’s these things that capture the person I am and what I cherish in my life:

I love when my children call me for no reason whatsoever but to say “hello, Mom, and I love you.”

I love laughing till I cry, not in a corny way but in a way that an intellectual conversation suddenly dives into silliness and whatever was said before the outbreak is forgotten.

I love random texts full of hellos and gratitude in the sweetest way possible with just a word or a picture.

I love how tears escape unexpectedly with a sound of a one-sentence story with no expectation of filling the air with more.

I love sending cards, delicately placing each word with a tiny piece of my heart to fly into the hands of another.

I love smells that remind me of something far and gone but linger for a few seconds in a corner of my mind.

I love old songs that transport me into a place and time of embrace.

I love unexpected hugs in a middle of a talk when it has nothing to do with touching and the skin of another amps and vibrates from the shock of grabbing onto it.

I love chasing sunrises and sunsets when the colors remind me of God’s masterpiece.

I love the perfect cup of cafe con leche and bringing it back to bed as I snuggle for just a little longer with my thoughts and prayers.

These are non sequential moments that open me up, gather the spiritual side of me, and then drop me into another place that I cannot verbalize. They touch and burn and linger for a while allowing for the complete gratitude of Divinity. And like that, I love the way some folks can hold a glance without saying much and hand a smile that contagiously plants itself on my face.

I love feeling the earth on my bare feet when the soil is moist and cold while reminding me to ground my scattered soul. I love seeing the light in others that speaks louder than anything they can share with me, or seeing their angels and ancestors watching over them. I love sitting with anticipation each morning and waiting for light to break through the darkness while I say my prayers, light my candles and wish for goodness in the day. I also love how when someone is sleeping they can murmur a part of their dreams while inviting me into their dreamland.

And, one of my favorite things is the smell of truth and authenticity when someone has no agenda except being in my presence just because they feel loved and appreciated. These things happen without my knowing. They just bring me back to the present as a gift from the Heavens.

May you find joy in your favorite things while attracting more of them!

Oh… and I love YOU~

Millie

The Place Inside of You

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There is a place inside of you that isn’t part of this world. It is the entire universe. You reside in it dormant waiting to remember your power and enchantment. You believe you are separate from all but you are the ALL.

That place is of great mysteries.

I reach it in meditation. I visit in sleep. I am reminded through dejavú and other synchronized events. And in the moment of awareness I am magic. I can see how fast I manifest and create what I desire. I trust that every fiber of my being is aligned to my dreams.

I forget at times. I get sucked into this human dimension that is influenced by stimulation 24/7. Then I find myself spinning until I stop and return to my equilibrium. To my truth. To my worth. To my knowing.

And it’s different for each one of us. It’s our own unique fingerprint.

So…. stop giving your power away to others. Stop believing that you are separate from Divinity. There is magic in your veins, in your cells, in every single particle of your existence.

Love yourself enough to return to its source because when you believe in yourself, the way you believe in others, you are unstoppable. And that’s when you begin to understand your purpose. That’s when you find yourself on top of your own universe.

I love you,

Millie

Telling Stories

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Someone asked me a while ago if I ever get tired of telling stories, to which I replied, “Do you ever get tired of breathing?”

We both laughed. Humor is underrated you know. We need to lighten up.

Telling stories is about connection. We have aha moments confirming our own journeys. We don’t feel alone. We are struck by divine lessons and raised to awareness of all sorts of yumminess. Sharing a story is humanness. It is how we learn and teach. It’s how we expand and shift consciousness.

We all have them… stories. We all know them. But when we read, or hear a story, a part of us opens up to endless possibilities. That’s story telling at its best. That’s why we read novels and watch movies.

I hope and pray you never ever stop telling your stories. I hope they continue to change others and inspire growth. I love those stories that are tended and polished from the core of spirit. They are freaking yummilicious! I love the stories that are also not told but carried like scars on you as proof of your badassery. Those stories taste and smell and look like magic to me. All of them. And of course there will always be some stories that are lovelier than others. We receive them from our point of reference. We relish them when they mirror our own journey.

So no! I don’t get tired of sharing stories. I love humanity and how it shows up in the most vulnerable of moments. Those are my favorites… when the person doesn’t know that they are creating magic for others to witness. The majority of people are truly wanting love, to be loved, to share love and live through love.

It’s really that simple. Two things interest me: love and connections. If I can bring them for others together, I am in heaven. If I can sit and share space with you so you can show me your soul, darlings, I am made for that!

I love you,

Millie

No More Silencing Your Stories

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I wrote a piece on my other page Sacred Journey Inward:

I am seeing the shift happening with women (and men). We aren’t silencing our traumas. We are healing through our words. The shame of old wounds is coming to light. We are releasing like never before.

I wrote this many years ago about my rape. I didn’t share with a single soul until only a few years ago. It has been 36 years since that moment that would forever change the way I saw intimacy. And it has been in the last few months that I have finally spoken about that event without guilt, shame or self-judgment. It was also my last marriage that brought so much to light and one of the reasons I had to end the relationship. My silencing was unacceptable. My inner pain was more than I could handle through lack of self-worth. There were too many variables the returned to that stranger degrading me and taking my innocence.

No mas! No more! There is a voice inside that will never shut up again. And, I am seeing it from children to the elderly. We are no longer in a time of pushing secrets under the rug or in closets….

for the rest of the share: https://www.sacredjourneyinward.com/blog/i-wont-tell-you

I love you!

Millie

October Release

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Our bodies hold cellular memories. They come up when you don’t even expect to be visited.

I was at Goodwill a few days ago buying winter clothes for the kiddos when out of the blues a gush of sadness took over. It came out of nowhere… but did it? A woman nearby came up to me with the most kind and gentle concern asking if I was okay.

“I think so. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” She held my hand. We hugged tightly. I thanked her, quickly paid, and left the store. I sat in my car letting the release come and go so I could drive home.

Then it hit me. I knew why. It’s almost October, and even though I am not consciously aware of the month, my muscle memory is. More things have happened to me in the month of October than any other time in my life. I was raped in October. I’ve moved, conceived, visited amazing places, said goodbye to my father, gotten married, ended toxic relationships, and so much more. The list is extensive. It’s not like I have purposely picked the month of October for the major changes in my life. I don’t even think about it until I wake up close to the beginning of the month and experience the largest release moving through me.

It is also the beginning of cold weather here in Western North Carolina Mountains. I have had the unfortunate experiences during winter months here. And when I see those leaves start to change, boy do I feel the seasonal affective disorder (S.A.D.). My body experiences PTSD in a way that it’s inconceivable to me.

It’s also a month I happen to pick to move inward, to step away from the chit chat of social media. It’s a time to be creative and allow those things to make new cycles of beautiful experiences for the future. I am excited for all that is evolving creatively.

I am reminded that what often separates us is man made. We create the drama, the challenges, and everything else. I am responsible for my healing, my clearing, and my growing. Spirit isn’t that complicated. My body somehow has a reset button and it reads “October” on it. When I allow for what is, I return to what I have always been. And that is a soul having a very authentic human experience.

I am still doing private sessions. Please text me or email me if you desire one this month. You can go to my website: sacredjourneyinward.com.

I love you all. See you back in a month.

Millie