Fairy Tale Love

I love romantic stories. There is a famous Greek mythological one about the perception of love, relationships, and soul connection. The myth of Pygmalion and Galatea has been brought down through centuries as a love story. It is one of my favorite stories of love and the power of creation. The story is about Pygmalion who was a gifted Greek artist. He created beautiful sculptures. Pygmalion was disappointed with the women he met, especially the prostitutes. He had given up on love, but in his repulsion and judgment for their moral behavior, he decided to create the perfect woman, thus the sculpture of Galatea made from ivory stone. Pygmalion spent countless hours making her into his ideal woman, chiseling carefully the curves, a beautiful body, while speaking to it. He would dress her up. He would tell her stories. Then one day Pygmalion went to Aphrodite’s temple and begged for the love of this woman. Aphrodite took pity on the artist and made the statue come to life and shortly thereafter Galatea and Pygmalion married.

 

This story has several metaphoric clues into relationships. The story dives deeper into the common questions of how we manipulate our desires and the creation of perfection in our minds. Do we ever find the “perfect” person that lives in our dreams? Can we put aside expectations and fall in love with others without judgment? Is there such a thing as love at first sight? Can fairy tales come true? Is love everlasting or do we manipulate it to fit into our circumstances? Does love truly dictate who we pick?

 

When I began to date my husband I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I was allowing love to run its course. I had ended a loving relationship with a man who knew me better than anyone. I loved him beyond anything I could have ever imagined. He disappeared and I was left holding my heart in my hands. I truly gave up any expectations of what I needed in a loving relationship. I thought about Pygmalion and his creation. Truth be told I didn’t know what I needed in a partner, but I did know what I was not willing to tolerate. I had enough experience with that!

 

Desiring flawless partners

Relationships are not perfect. Often times our counterparts mirror our imperfections. It’s in those enhancing moments that we try desperately to chip away the characteristics that we don’t want. In all the negative light we become lunatics trying to create something that we cannot change. We are human beings. Sometimes we enter into relationships blindly with an irrational belief that “this is the perfect person.” Later the blinders come off and what was once lust is no longer part of the love equation. Lust can only take us so far. Deep connection lasts forever. You must be willing to accept the “whole-ness” of your partner. It’s not easy but it’s doable.

 

Love at first sight

We are creatures of determining beauty by first glance. Hormones flare and exude our animal instincts. But, does this hold on forever? Beauty is not just in the eyes of the beholder. Beauty resides deeply in the heart. Just like Pygmalion many of us spend countless hours searching for the ideal mate that we have created since childhood. We have formed a “type” and when that type enters the room we are left drooling for attention. How often do we actually get the type of partner who lives in our heads? Age takes care of making sure we return to reality.  Outside beauty doesn’t last forever. Dig deeper to find the magic of love inside another. When our bodies start to age the only thing we can know for sure is what lies in the seed of the soul.

 

The perfect fairy tale

Society has implanted an idea of “perfect fairy tale love.” From the time we are children we watch and listen to the romantic fairy tales. Disney has created a huge franchise on the subject. It’s difficult to see what’s an illusion and what’s actually real. Love is NOT carved in ivory stone. It’s not perfect. It requires work. It expects nothing more, or less, than patience and acceptance. You create that which you are. In order to attract your desired partner you have to consider your own imperfections. You have to be willing to look at the dark and the light in yourself. You must be honest with your own expectations. I know I am not an easy person to live with and neither is my husband. What continues to keep us together is a mutual acceptance of our imperfections. The older we get the more we realize that we cannot sweat the small stuff. We have grown into love. We’ve also had to keep our Egos in tact.

Galatea and Pygmalion Effects

The Galatea Effect is a psychological theory that states that people can overcome anything through raising their self-worth. The Pygmalion Effect is a phenomenon relating to motivation: people can conquer anything when they are supported and encouraged. In relationships can we be Galatea and Pygmalion? One person has to be the motivator and the other the doer. There has to be a balance of giving and taking. Unfortunately, in our society we forget the partnership theory in relationships. It starts with clear intentions of how we will support, love and respect our mate. Life wears us down and we no longer motivate the other. Galatea and Pygmalion are perfect examples of belief and ultimate love through perseverance. You must pick a partner who will stick through the good and the tough times.

The perfect mate for you exists

We have the power to create anything we want in life, including a partner who brings out the best in us. But, while you continue having a false idea of what is perfect you might not see what’s right next to you. Relationships work on trust, forgiveness, love, acceptance, and awareness. It’s important to understand that if you aren’t being treated to your highest worth and potential then it’s time to move on. You must go where you are celebrated and honored. You cannot continue to try and mold someone who isn’t raising the best of you into your perfect mate. When people tell you who they are believe them from the beginning. You cannot change anyone. You are only responsible for you. Pygmalion created what he needed. He chiseled and prayed and spoke to the Gods. He didn’t settle for the other women.

You have the capacity to bring the love of your life into your life…but first you must be honest with what you want. Love is not written in stone but it is written in the heart. Follow your heart but take your mind with it too. And, darling, be sure to forgive yourself and others for any past relationships that didn’t work out. Forgiveness is the key to allowing. It helps make room for the magic of new beginnings.

Soul Reflection

reflection

Love sits
patiently aching
to be assumed.
The soul’s joy
reciprocates
with radiance,
beauty
and endless compassion
through a mirrored reflection
reversed through time.

“I am here.
I am there.
I am everywhere.”

I wait for the discovery
of self

while you bathe in

the false uncertainties

that you don’t deserve

to be YOU

even when Divinity

gazes through

your soulful eyes.

Body Talk

hands

Let my body speak to you

through its texture,

shape,

color,

dimples,

scar,

age,

and hear what it says

in the silence of

the imperfections.

 

Let my body dance

swaying,

trembling,

yelling in movements

the mystery of me

never witnessed before,

challenging you

to let everything go.

 

Let my body be a sponge

taking you in,

draining you out,

and drying your own spirit

by way of mysticism

so divinity can sit

with us together…

forever as one.

Dressing the Part

Bearwallow Mountain TrailA few mornings ago I decided to go on a hike up the mountain near our place. As I began trekking up the path I came upon a young man all geared up in what looked like the poster child of a true hiker: expensive boots, nice backpack, walking sticks for climbing the Himalayas, and a great windbreaker. He was standing on the middle of the trail in deep thought staring at the tracks on the dirt. I said, “Good morning.” Took off my headphones when his lips started moving.

“Are these bear tracks here?” He asked with great concern pointing to the soil.

“Yes, they are! You do know you are on Bearwallow Mountain?”

“Are you going up?” He asks with hesitation.

I answered, “That’s my intention!”

“But what about the bears?”

I say casually, “They don’t bother anyone. I’ve been hiking this mountain for several years and have never come across any on the hike. I have friends who have but they are more scared of people than you can imagine. I’ve seen them down on the road while driving.”

“Oh….I don’t know,” He adds while taking off his cap and scratching his head. I saw the fear and anxiety spew out of his pores. He was definitely out of his comfort zone.

I passed him with a smile and said, “Good luck then. Believe me, if you are meant to see a bear you will see one!!!”

As I continued my trek I kept thinking of him and how well he dressed the hiking element. He looked the part. He was ready to climb, explore and experience freedom. I sat on the summit admiring the 360 degrees of mountain ranges with joy on a clear-cool-autumn day. A while later I saw him below reaching the entrance of the path with a map, sunglasses and a complete disorientation that would make a drunken man seem sober. I giggled, not at him, but at how we are in our humanness. We are lost in the illusions of what we expect. He was so confined to the presumption of what would be up on the mountain that he missed the opportunity of enjoying the journey.  And, it is a gorgeous trail.

We play our parts well. Sometimes not so much! Here was this man dressed up to hike on a mountain alone. I can assume this was huge for him to be in a different part of the Appalachians and conquer this moment, which is exciting, nerve-wrecking, and an exploration to something in his spirit. Hiking is a rush, a form of meditation, and a way to join with the dance of nature. I am reminded that I have been him a million times before. I have played the part to a specific drama, said the right lines, worn the perfect outfit, to later find that I wasn’t being authentic to my spirit. I was just acting out what society expected. We tend to wear costumes for the places we expect to conquer. We put the uniform that best suits our purpose and move through the motions of leaving the comfort zone. But, all along the comfort zone is still secretly holding us from venturing outside of our minds. We live on fear and the claws of uncertainty.

I have very few fears. They are not snakes or bears. They are tiny lizards that when crossing my path on a hike I get off the trail running hysterically. Seriously, a lizard, gecko, salamander or whatever looks like one will push me over the edge. I have tried to get to the bottom of this phobia and it seems it’s paralyzing. I am not afraid of spiders, or anything that can actually kill me. I am afraid of a reptile that logically is more frighten of me. How do I go hiking? How do I garden? How do I enjoy nature? Well, I try not to think about it. There is no such thing as lizard tracks…so I must go on through the trails praying I don’t come across one. I don’t dress the part. I know my fear. I don’t pretend to be a hiker. I am a hiker. I sat up on the boulder watching this young guy hoping he found solace and congratulated himself for conquering the mountain…and not coming across a bear. I sent him love from up there, soul-to-soul, padding his back with a “job-well-done affirmation.”

Fear is a costume we choose to wear. I am consciously aware of this. And, unfortunately we attract those things we fear (because I find lizards in places that shouldn’t have them). I know the way fear feels when it’s close to the surface. We dress our parts with pretenses, avoiding the underlining issue for the trauma, circumstances, and/or event. This encounter made me very aware of my own fear of lizards and how much it presents itself when I am doing what I love. Kudos to the ones who surpass the anxiety and find their truth. It is beautiful. If you can undress the nuisance, find the rawness of being vulnerable with yourself, admit it to you and others, then you are far more advanced than many. I take my hat off to you! It’s not easy to show our helplessness.  It’s not fun to show the humanness of vulnerability. But, it is our right to respect those fears in others.  We all deserve at least that!

Intentions of Purpose

magic

In the quietness

I find myself

awkwardly infusing

trying to make sense…

 

In the silence

I find God

waiting for my return

to the union

of spirit and self…

 

In the solitude

I find the Universe

engulfing me,

weaving the cascades

of humanity,

encompassing all…

 

In the peace

I find me

and all that’s not

in the here and there

of the world

full of illusions

when nothing seems real…

 

except the light of the Divine

holding me

through the essence of all

that is love.