A Great Awakening

I’ve had months of shedding tears … usually at the most importune times. For the longest time my heart has literally ached. The isolation was the beginning of an emotional turmoil. The uncertainties added in not knowing how we would navigate a deadly virus. Then there was the caring for small children without a break. I had to put my goals on hold and I recognize I wasn’t alone. I have mourned it all. And it hasn’t stopped.

I have felt the shifting of global energy during the last three months. I have felt major conscious awakenings in me and others. The woo-wooness has been grand. I have felt intense energy at times foreseeing a major war in each of us. It has been liberating and brutal at once.

We are in the midst of chaos and the tipping scales get determined by how we show up. Every single decision alters our reality.

We must change. We have to rise to a new level of living together without hate, racism, judgment, and apathy. This isn’t new. This is an old paradigm that requires a major overtaking. We are here together in this perfect storm to eradicate this division once and for all.

I have cried. I’ve been sad. I’ve been frustrated. And at times I’ve been angry. I’ve been beside myself while pulling roots from the earth and in myself. All the emotions have triggered other releases. I have been prudent in finding the precious lessons in it all. I feel helpless in my pursuit to show up. But I am here. And I see the break across our land.

I have witnessed the disappointments in others. I am feeling it all through the inconceivable heartache in our country. Being a minority I have lived indifferences and discrimination. I fight it in my own way through love. It’s not that I am a pacifist (or unrealistic) as much as I am a true believer that hate has never won a war over love. Ever. Never.

I don’t care what race you are it is absolutely atrocious to witness the injustice at this time. But I am also giddy at experiencing the expansion of what’s coming. Change is coming. We are no longer going to put up with any of it. It’s taken all these recent human losses for a radical revolution.

But…
We must let go of the fear. We cannot fix a single issue if we move through fear at this moment.

It is time to rise. We are exactly where we are suppose to be. Please use your anger and hurt to fuel this opportunity in a loving and constructive manner. Hatred towards hate will just create a wild fire that cannot be contained.

Let us take these moments for shifting through benevolence, compassion and grace. And, no, sitting here wishing it away won’t do it. Actively participating in educating, interaction, communication and bringing the darkness to light will create a profound ripple effect. It means getting involved with changing laws. It means standing up and using your voice in an intelligent and loving manner.

I see you. I feel you. We can utilize this moment to teach the world how we transform hate through unity as one nation. United we stand, divided we fall.

Fifth Week of Lessons

Fifth week of quarantine has taught me a lot. I am not the same person who entered this crisis.

At first there was release. Old traumas triggered and healed. There was so much old hurt that showed up and I didn’t even process why until weeks later.

Then came anger, disappointments and short fuse syndrome over everything. Denial and acceptance showed up a lot. Sadness would follow with grace. I cried a lot. I was in a fog. It was not pretty to feel it all and be in the midst of darkness. Forgiveness was the mother experience in all of it. It actually lifted the fog.

Every emotion has been deeply felt the last few weeks. I became spiritually detached. It rattled the core of me. I somehow had disconnected from Source and couldn’t get back to my center. Then last week it stopped. It all came full circle. I felt my heart cracking open and accepting. I understood what I didn’t understand. I know not to know anything and it is okay. I accept this being this at this moment in time.

There is something to all of it on a huge cosmic level. My dreams aren’t dreams but incredible travels elsewhere. And I marvel at the opportunity to bring back lessons from other lifetimes. When I close my eyes at night I get to go and come back with deep peace and awareness.

But, I also know that as weeks go by the collective will be in a lot of turmoil. There is heaviness in the world. There is sadness and anger. Every person is undergoing their own growth. There is a rainbow of shitty emotions going on that weigh each of us down. There is no pot of gold ahead for many. Folks ask what I asked in the beginning, “What the hell is my purpose now?”

Our purpose is to rise up and join a higher frequency. We can’t fight dark forces with darkness. We must light the path and lift the fog.

I’ve decided to shift my perception and mindfully return to love every single time I get into that head space. I don’t have to know about tomorrow. I only need to be here now.

My home is sacred. My family is too. I am willing to participate in this giant awakening experiment because obviously I chose this time in history to be here. I will not be shaken by what I read or see or hear. I understand that love is the vehicle, for me, at this time.

How are you feeling after all these weeks? What are you learning?

The Lonely Journey

When asked about the common subjects people talk to me about I always say “Love and Spirit.” People will share their love and stories without filter. It’s a given! They will unload information in a heart beat.

The second subject is always along the lines of spiritual deprivation. Folks are in need of magic, mysticism, miracles, and faith. They want to know that there are others out there with the same curiosity and open-conscious level of understanding. They want to know that this is just not all of it…you know, the concept of living just to pay bills. Because, frankly, it’s not!

I am blessed to know (and my list continues to grow) hundreds of spiritual people. They are from all walks of life: Christians, Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, and even non-denominational. I also know many religious folks who come across as spiritual but in truth they are all mind and no heart. To me spirituality is having a compassionate heart tied to a faith in something greater than ourselves that is non-violent and non-judgmental. If you are judging, criticizing and pointing all sorts of fingers to another while reciting God’s name, well darling, you aren’t spiritual. You are something else. Unfortunately there are a lot of religions based on the mastery of manipulation and the heart has to be taken out of the equation. You cannot love and hate at the same time. Impossible!

Ah…the beauty of entertaining like-minded souls is in the allowance. We are able to openly discuss many subjects of the conscious mind. I notice there is still a massive disconnection. We are suffering from spiritual deprivation. I know they are millions feeling this massive shift of awareness, however, due to the overwhelming negativity of the pointing-fingers syndrome, no one discusses their faith with anyone. No one wants to be ridiculed. No one wants to die. The deprivation grows larger and before you know we are all scattered and left to fend for ourselves and spirit.

Spirituality is a lonely path. My steps cannot be walked by you and vice versa. We can, however, compare the paths. We can discuss the different ways we come into prayer, contemplation and meditation. We can share experiences that are beyond this realm. We can go deep into conversations about stars, planets, and cosmic energy. We can trust in each other when someone shares something that is fantastic and magical. Just because you haven’t experienced it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I haven’t experienced homelessness but I sure believe in it. I haven’t experienced war but I now it’s there. So, these are folks that want more. They crave for spiritual knowledge. They eat, sleep, watch and read all sorts of information trying to rationalize or enrich their faith. For centuries religions have done this. It’s part of our DNA, we must grow into the unknown. It’s pretty sad that in today’s world we can still be deprived by the simplest forms of human needs: mind, body and spirit.

I don’t have answers on how to find more spiritual connections. I really haven’t a clue. At least ten times a week I get a message from someone asking for spiritual retreats, meet-ups, or just comments on wanting connections with Spirit. I can only tell you that at times what you are looking for in others is right inside of you if you just sit long enough to listen.

I am determined to raise my vibration to the highest form of love and dispel negative emotions. When I’m having a bad day, or worrying over crap, I need to quiet the ego bitchiness and center myself to what matters. I have to return to Source. I enter quietude through meditation or writing or just being in nature. It’s in those moments that Spirit visits me. It’s in those precious minutes that the universe cradles me with unbelievable forms of awareness through love. And, it’s also in those times that forgiveness arrives and I can let go of all that is causing me such turmoil and chaos. I walk away feeling like me. I am still a spiritual being having a human experience. I am choosing to make it less dense with emotional baggage.

You have the answers to all your spiritual questions. You carry with you the spiritual knowledge to change, feed and enhance your life through divine guidance. You are all there is. Sure it’s awesome to share with others. Heck yeah! It’s comforting to know you aren’t bat-ass crazy and the looney farm has a room with your name on it waiting for you to check yourself in. That’s always wonderful to acknowledge.

Likes attract likes. If you want more spiritually grounded individuals in your life you have to become one yourself without the fear of being scrutinized. You also have to look around your circle and realize when you have to let go of toxic energy. You have to put yourself in the arms of respect and self-worth. What good will it do you to find spiritual folks and then return to a place that destroys the yummy energy?

Go love you. Go believe in yourself. Go be spiritual through the forest, by the shoreline, over the desert, on a mountain top. I’m so glad we have each other. Now go be the yummiest version of you. Just BE! You got this!

Message in Meditation

Trust is an emotional mechanism that was placed in our DNA when we began creation. The collective and society, through fear and other low vibrational frequencies, have caused it to downgrade. We question it. We don’t use it as we should. There is a default programming in its place. So we no longer just trust. We struggle with it. We have been shown over and over that it isn’t a means to survive. We don’t trust or allow for intuition to guide us.

When we return to our origins, through love, Trust will be the first input to be upgraded again. It is still in our DNA. It’s been muted. It’s been centuries of misuse and abuse. It is about to return as our guidance. Soon! We are being awakened slowly. It was designed to be right now in this time.

Humanity needed to experience all that it has endured. We are a stubborn race. We have more followers than leaders. And the leaders have guided through manipulation of fear and repression. They know how to play the part. The followers have also played their role. The imbalance is soon to tip the scales.

Trust will return with ascension. It will be intuitively available to guide us again. It is our internal GPS. Those who are ready will begin to feel it in their solar plexus and use it to create a new world. You are experienced the massive amount of energy at this time. Many will not question what the masses are leading. And in this trust we will once again become whole as one. There will be millions not ready to awake. It’s not your job to provide the push for them. Those are their lessons and contracts before coming into this incarnation. Your only job is to love and show love through your own journey. People don’t learn through words. They evolve through experiences. They see and imitate what feels good.

Don’t judge. Don’t manipulate. Don’t enforce your beliefs. Don’t attack. Don’t hate. Don’t do anything to force another to think as you do.

Love…over and over… is the key to open all the unlocked passages in humanity. Forgiveness heals through love. Trust opens because of love. We change and expand because of love. When in doubt just love. Accept it as the answer to all there is and all there ever was.

Rise!

I want you to read that meme over and over. I remember four years ago when I died in the ER and was returned to this world. I recognized that the moment I woke I was different. As days turned into months and months into years, I had to remove anyone (and anything) that disturbed my sensitivity. I could not be responsible for making the world happy, especially people who sucked the life out of me trying to find happiness. They are responsible for their own journey.

Not everyone will approve.

Not everyone will agree.

People judge from the place of their own perspective and experiences. It’s not for you to try and mold them. Let them judge. Just don’t allow them to break you.

So I stopped…I made it a point of truly disengaging from those whose addictions and toxic energy were hurting me.

I woke to find me. And every day afterwards I’ve had to continue setting boundaries. Some are easy. Others feel like I’m the worst human on earth.

And that’s part of this human thingy. I keep standing in my knowing.

Rise, darling. Keep standing for your truth, awareness, love and your life. Keep rising to all that is to come when you live through your authenticity, when you move through love.

Whether they approve or not…rise and acknowledge YOU!!!

I love YOU! ~m.a.p.

Rise Above 


I’ve made some difficult decisions lately as I had to be true to what my soul was expressing. I have spent a lifetime avoiding my desires while feeling guilt and shame for another. 
Do I do this? Do I do that? What if I do this, will it affect this person? Oh…it’s just easier to do that which feels right. It’s time to be authentic to what I will or will not do. And it’s magical. It’s important to remember the stories of past events and return to the present with full awareness of the lessons. 
Virginia Woolf said, “You cannot find peace by avoiding life.” Life needs to be acknowledged in its complete presence. It needs the wisdom of time, gratitude for each breath, and love for each connection. If you allow it, life will break you and then stitch those parts into a more remarkable being. When you let life guide without the fears of the unknown, through faith and trust, it will give you everything you have wanted and more…while being fully present with joy. 
This is the adventure. 
We are who we are because of the stories from the past. It’s in recognizing what we care to do with joy and what we won’t tolerate any longer that the magic begins to create through fairy dust particles of miracles. Things open up to align with your gifts and wishes. 
Every road into memories and events allows us to figure out where we came from and how we got here. It becomes an unconscious clearing in mind, body and spirit.
Allow yourself to feel alive in those solitary moments when the reminder of living is magnified. Give your soul permission to visit and revisit the parts of you that need mending. Then may you return to the present with a full understanding of how awesome you are! Be embraced by Divinity!
Rise, darling! Rise to your soul’s yearning. Become all that you are meant to be but have forgotten for some time. ~ Millie

The ALL of YOU

spiritual moment

The “you” that you believe you are has nothing to do with your personality. Yes, how you react becomes a reaction. How you act becomes the action. But the you that you are is a soul consisting of divine essence. You get to choose the thoughts. You become those choices. If it doesn’t work, change. If you can’t stay, move. You are not a tree rooted deeply in the earth. You have will. You have choices. You have the conscious power to do anything. It is definitely easier said than done but start somewhere. You are the infinite you that has lived and will continue to live pass this moment. Your love, achievements, failures and every aspect of the ego have made you the human version that you think you are. But, you are much more than this. You are a super consciousness that has evolved to love beyond everything else. You are the change you crave to see in this world. It starts with the real YOU. Go do something with that. Embrace that YOU that is waiting acknowledgment. And begin to witness the miracles happen before you. You are limitless, perfection, pure Divinity and love. You are God. You are Oneness. There is no separation. You have created a belief programming that assures lacking rather than abundance. Today, know your Dharma. Remember your truth. Stop retelling the stories of the past.  They brought you here but do not make for the future events.  You get to pick the path, you get to trail blaze the future, and you get to manifest all that you want. Be the magnificent self that you intended to be when you arrived here. We are born knowing all…somewhere along the way we forget our reality. Along the process we have been conditioned to “fit in,” be “normal,” and adhere to to social status.  This is NOT WHO YOU ARE. You are ALL!  You are the grace of Christ, the embodiment of God, the Oneness of the universe.  You got this! No one else can do this for you but YOU! Now…go do some amazing things today with your authentic self. See how freaking AWEsome you will feel!

“Know that you are forever, that you have never failed, and that the only thing you have ever done wrong is believing that you have done something wrong.” – Ramtha

Awakening to the Essence of Love

awakening

I have been walking a spiritual path for some time now.  It is not always easy to walk on faith without being able to see the end result.  Some time ago when I left my “old life” of the city to move to the mountains of North Carolina, I felt a shift in consciousness. I awoke through unconditional love and forgiving myself for the choices I made in the past.  I began to hold myself accountable for those lessons and experiences rather than blaming others.  Once I forgave myself it was easy to forgive those characters who played in my stories.

I consciously made a clear intention that I was going to embrace the love for life.  Awakening, to me, is just the allowance of being present in the evolution of life.  There is nothing more or less to it.  It is about being present through the journey. We are to wake up and expect nothing.  That is the beauty in it and the simplicity of allowance.  We hear about waking up or enlightenment and think we will walk on water or fly on air.  The reality of waking is to exceed the dream state, the matrix of expectation.  One sees the world as it is, not how our perception creates it.  Things just are.  The dream dematerializes, vanishing into sleep.  The illusion of control, law and science melts because life just is.  This moment is the only thing available.  There is no need for fear because all there is has been presented to you.  Because there is no past and no future, life exists as the path on a mystical journey.

Awakening is relinquishing ego and fully understanding what the great masters understood.  No thought can go beyond here.  No thought can go back.  One lives the texture, minute, tastes, smells and words in the experience of the moment.  That’s the enchantment of awakening to a life of Spirit.  It is never easy to walk on faith.  There is a “knowing” in the process of releasing all.  This knowing is the direct alignment of presence.  It is the direct voice of God and Spirit guiding you without anxiety, apprehension, ignorance, doubt and fear.  Those emotions vanish.  In waking they can’t exist because there is no need to control the future, or regrets in changing the past.  One arrives to this moment via the Karmic train of letting the universe guide you through your highest consciousness.

We interpret faith as a release and an allowance of quantum energy not seen, not known, but allowed.  Awakening is not work.  It is the opposite of resistance.  It is not manipulation.  No one can translate it and try to teach “awakening.”  That’s ego teaching.  Spirit can guide you but can’t physically show you.  When one is ready one travels and awakes at the perfect moment. This might be as a child, an adult or on the last breath in this life.  “Letting go, and letting God” is the perfect example of this theory.   I believe that through daily spiritual practice, whether it is through meditation, prayer, yoga, hiking, writing (to name a few), the process of authentic truth arrives.  It is then that the awareness of the NOW becomes the awakening catalyst.

Complications and situations in our lives are the components of our humanity.  Humanness is weaved between reality and the esoteric world.  We are all interconnected.  The one way to release our perception is to completely let go from the heart.  Love is all there is.  Allowing the love to flow through life will present a vacated spot inside where there was once emptiness.  That’s another part of the awakening process: allowing love to unite each person.  No hurt can exist when there is only love.  There is no emptiness to fill if there is no desire to exceed wants and needs.  Expectation is the ego’s way of assuming control.

Awakening doesn’t require you to withdraw from the world.  It requires you to withdraw from your ego.  Once awakened you don’t need to avoid humanity.  One becomes even more compassionate without the ratifications of others to penetrate.  One cannot stop ignoring divinity inside which is your essence moving outward.  This is the gift of awakening.  It is a choice.  It is freewill.  It will come if one renounces the old paradigms and beliefs.  Stopping the presence of love is the state one lives in when not awakened.  Love is not to be held, controlled or withheld.  It is the ongoing energy of the universe.  It is all there is.  There is no need to go to a monastery, or escape the real world to reach this state of openness.  Ultimately the only reason we have been placed on this beautiful planet is to live, love and learn from one another.  And, this is perhaps the truth in fully awakening through love.

Once Awaken….

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Last night, sometime after midnight, I had a strange dream. I was standing on our dock overlooking the pond on a sunny mountain day. A man, looking very much like Morpheus from The Matrix, appeared next to me. He and I stood side by side and he said, “This is all an illusion. Remember!”

I looked at him and said, “I like this illusion then. It suits me well.”

He motioned his hand in front of me over the gorgeous scenery and within seconds, like removing a fog, the scene disappeared and there was darkness and stars. We were in the galaxy.  We were the stars.

I said to him, “I want it back the way it was.”

He answered, “But this is the truth. You belong to the stars. Once you are awake you can’t undo what you already know.”

I woke with a sense of clarity and disorientation. I didn’t know what day it was, where I had been, what time of the night or who I was at that very moment. It took several moments of stressing consciousness to react to this reality and the darkness of my room. I tried to remember the rest of the journey in that dream state but I couldn’t.

Guidance appears in many forms. I seem to be getting these visitations more frequently. Life is an illusion and it requires a shift in perception and consciousness to truly see all that the veil hides from us. Open your eyes…all of them… and truly witness the everything of what we are together. We are made up of infinite stars and galaxies. We are in the matrix of control and what we have been made to believe through a default program. Question everything that doesn’t feel right. Remember!!!  Try to recall who you were before the world told you how you should be and made you into this person.  Find your truth, your authentic power and live free.  This is all an illusion of choice.  Remember!!!

I love you. I love you. I love you. You are definitely not alone in this wilderness of the unknown. Touch your heart.  God is there.  Feel your heartbeat.  The Divine is pumping through your veins.  Be courageous!