I had a walk on the beach with God this morning. I went into meditation using some amazing music a friend in Finland has created. I found myself walking along the shoreline of this gorgeous beach.
I wrapped my arm around my bodacious tall black woman with Caribbean accent as she held me close. Our feet parted the water, sinking into the sand… taking in the salty air, the sound of birds, the hollowness of wind moving through the trees.
Me: “I am so happy to be here with you again.”
God: “Me too, ma’ child.”
Me: “I am struggling. You know! I feel like I am failing somehow with being a parent.”
God: “I understand (she giggled). I know how you feel. I am always witnessing my own creations and wondering how my children don’t ask me for more help. I am only a thought away. Children want to know answers without really waiting for them. They ask and ask and interrupt and not make time to listen. You make the time to sit and find me. You are one of my favorites, Mildred America.”
Me: I laughed loudly. “I say that all the time to people about being my favorites.”
God: “And where you think you got that from, ma’ child? Every thought of joy, compassion and love comes from me.”
Me: still laughing… “True! I never thought of it that way.”
God: “What has been your favorite thing in this life?” (She held my arm tightly. The water began to wet her white linen pants. I smelled the Rose scent that always arrives from her as she moves with ease). “I know you have many, but I want to hear you tell me your top favorite one.”
Me: “My children. My kids are definitely my favorite of all things. Even in their challenges and struggles and distances. They’ve made me more compassionate. They’ve been my favorite teachers.”
God: “Ain’t that something! Me too. My children, each one of you, are my favorite of all creations!”
I held tighter to her arm. We stopped and looked out into the vastness of ocean and mountains around us. I took in the silence between us and she hugged me tightly. I felt the immense essence of love and safety. I was being cradled by the ultimate omnipotence source of creation. I broke the silence: “I never take these moments for granted with you in my dreams or in my meditations. Thank you for sharing this time.”
God: She wiped my tears and bent down to kiss my forehead. And in the most endearing accent she said, “Now gwan… you is late for more mamahood. Mi soon come when you need me!”
And so God let go of me and sent me back to this dimension with several answers to my questions as the smell of roses lingered on. There is always a prolonged peace after our encounters. Her words echo throughout the passing hours. Her touch reaches my heart as if I am being supported by something extra in my story. I am made new… and I am transformed from doubt into a deep faith in the unknown.