Beach Walk with God

I had a walk on the beach with God this morning. I went into meditation using some amazing music a friend in Finland has created. I found myself walking along the shoreline of this gorgeous beach.

I wrapped my arm around my bodacious tall black woman with Caribbean accent as she held me close. Our feet parted the water, sinking into the sand… taking in the salty air, the sound of birds, the hollowness of wind moving through the trees.

Me: “I am so happy to be here with you again.”

God: “Me too, ma’ child.”

Me: “I am struggling. You know! I feel like I am failing somehow with being a parent.”

God: “I understand (she giggled). I know how you feel. I am always witnessing my own creations and wondering how my children don’t ask me for more help. I am only a thought away. Children want to know answers without really waiting for them. They ask and ask and interrupt and not make time to listen. You make the time to sit and find me. You are one of my favorites, Mildred America.”

Me: I laughed loudly. “I say that all the time to people about being my favorites.”

God: “And where you think you got that from, ma’ child? Every thought of joy, compassion and love comes from me.”

Me: still laughing… “True! I never thought of it that way.”

God: “What has been your favorite thing in this life?” (She held my arm tightly. The water began to wet her white linen pants. I smelled the Rose scent that always arrives from her as she moves with ease). “I know you have many, but I want to hear you tell me your top favorite one.”

Me: “My children. My kids are definitely my favorite of all things. Even in their challenges and struggles and distances. They’ve made me more compassionate. They’ve been my favorite teachers.”

God: “Ain’t that something! Me too. My children, each one of you, are my favorite of all creations!”

I held tighter to her arm. We stopped and looked out into the vastness of ocean and mountains around us. I took in the silence between us and she hugged me tightly. I felt the immense essence of love and safety. I was being cradled by the ultimate omnipotence source of creation. I broke the silence: “I never take these moments for granted with you in my dreams or in my meditations. Thank you for sharing this time.”

God: She wiped my tears and bent down to kiss my forehead. And in the most endearing accent she said, “Now gwan… you is late for more mamahood. Mi soon come when you need me!”

And so God let go of me and sent me back to this dimension with several answers to my questions as the smell of roses lingered on. There is always a prolonged peace after our encounters. Her words echo throughout the passing hours. Her touch reaches my heart as if I am being supported by something extra in my story. I am made new… and I am transformed from doubt into a deep faith in the unknown.

~m.a.p.

You Are Beautiful

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Every once in a while you need detachment from your normal life. This is why retreats and vacations are invaluable. While you are in the line of fire of your normal life, it’s difficult to gain perspective. It’s important to step away and view new surroundings. It’s imperative to stop seeing with your old-tired eyes and start refresh. It’s that simple and, yet, many of us fight the chances of a few days away. Mostly, because we fear what may come up in our realities. Perception is a true awakening wand!

So, when a dear friend asked to help her on a trip near the ocean I took it as a sign of being able to detach for a few days. The word, “therapy” immediately came to mind. I began to think of breathing spaces and feeding my mind, body and spirit on a long road trip with one of the most intriguing and wise souls I know. Cause that’s what road trips are about! They open us up, challenge us in confine spaces, and bring out lots and lots of laughter. If you aren’t experiencing these moments, then you are on a road trip with the wrong person.

Today, I was walking the beach, picking up pink seashells when a young man holding a surf board was coming towards me. I gasped. He was exquisite. In a very non lustful and loving way I felt the words leave my body, “My God…you are beautiful!” He was what dreams are made of in romance novels. Those images we think of in all terms of human model perfection. He must not have been older than 20. He stopped next to me and smiled widely which made him look even more radiant. He said, almost embarrassed, “Thank you, ma’am.”

I answered, “If you don’t know your radiance you should cause it’s just delightful!” His eyes held this twinkle and I kept on walking. He looked like a chiseled God from some movie: imagine Captain America and Thor creating a new gene pool of pure radiance, strength, and perfection. But he was humble and sweet and just lovely embracing his youth. His energy was more beautiful than his outer beauty. His demeanor made me realize how many of us don’t know our greatness, beauty, our own radiance and when we hear it it is actually difficult to take in. It is embarrassing and somewhat uncomfortable to own up to it.

Beauty is an enigma. What one person considers beautiful another doesn’t. But when you witness it, up close and personal, such exquisiteness leaves you gasping for more. It made me realize also my own youth and how I never recognized how beautiful I was. I look at pictures of myself in my 20’s as I struggled to always be thin and poise and didn’t recognize the beauty. But, there on that beach for an hour, it was hard to return to what’s not lovely when you have a moment of bliss like that while taking in the gorgeousness of a beach day. After that the air felt lighter. The sun brighter. And, the ocean deeper and ethereal than ever. Beauty does that. It brings with it a deeper awareness and frequency.

Anytime I leave home, I miss my house. I miss my peeps. I miss my familiarity. But, I needed this trip more than I could have imagined. Today’s walk on the beach allowed me to feel beauty, see it and embrace it through my own experiences.

I saw parts of me today that I hadn’t seen in a long while because life happens and I forget how incredibly lovely I am at times. I forget to count myself as beautiful, or sweet, or anything. I am always handing out the compliments. I am always feeding others with joyfulness and showing them a part of their connections that matter. But, today I did it for me picking up the most stunning shells I’ve seen in a long time.

If you get a chance… see your own beauty through someone else. Witness your own radiance. Accept the gorgeousness of those around you as a reflection of your own exquisiteness. Find compassion for yourself. It’s all magical and mystical and deeply enchanting when you accept all of you. And…you, darling…should always come first!

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Imprints in the Sand

Footprints in the sand 

Stick like silence

Penetrating for just a while

Until water washes them away. 

 

I hear your words

Through the quietness 

Instilled between us

As layers of time

Cover the spaces

And you come in and out

Of the shoreline 

Bringing whatever 

Suits you in a moment. 

 

Don’t be fooled

By my generosity to stand

Near you eternally.

It doesn’t mean I won’t 

Love you —

Just not in the way

You want.  I’ve become 

A shell sustained

By the harshness of

Substance hitting

Rocks, grinding into depth,

And traveling alone. 

 

I am not a doormat

To clean the sand

Any time you feel 

Willingly able to enter

Me. 

I left my footprints

Somewhere far away

Along with the quietness 

Of my undying love. 

 

I will be here for the 

Humanness you deserve,

Not the escape 

You use to drown the pain

That had become 

The customary purpose

Of our union.  

 

“Forever” is too long….

Still vacationing like a child

I am still on a wonderful vacation in California. I have written in my journal throughout this amazing journey. This is a snippet of an entry. Will share more when I am in front of my own computer. Like all great travels this one has allowed me to go within and then move outward. It has been delightful!

“I am a little girl playing on the seashore. I move from here to there diverting from pebble to rock to stones and gravel. The great ocean of truth lies in front embracing all of me undiscovered by the child in my past. It is magnificent. I am nothing yet I am everything in this vastness of force and beauty. These waters serve as gateways to my spirit. The memories run through me over and over crashing against my chest with the same intensity as the waves. As an individual I am one but here standing in spirit’s arms we are the ocean. You, me and them are now one….”

I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving. Much love and light.

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