Disappearing of a Man

I visited an elderly client yesterday with advance dementia. He had come back from the dentist and had a tooth extracted. There was still blood on his lips.

I kissed his forehead although immediately by his gaze I could tell he didn’t recognize me.

“How are you feeling after your dentist appointment?” I asked while holding his hand. I had knelt to his eye level.

“I haven’t gone to the dentist.” He answered confused.

“Oh, darling! My bad. I thought you went out today.” I smiled.

“I did,” he said. “I went on a drive through the mountains. (He paused)…with you!”

I smiled and hugged him.

We haven’t gone out on a drive in months because he has not been well. But at that moment he remembered me just a little bit. I don’t correct them when they share. I go with the flow and we return to the moment again.

I sat with him until he felt an ache in his mouth and asked if I would come back another day. I hugged and kissed him. I told him that I would.

“But you promise to come see me again, right?!” He asked like a little boy.

“I will, darling.”

I had to go to the facility’s restroom and let the heartache come out. I sat in there and cried. He has declined so much. And to witness his confusion is usually not this drastic. It’s life. It’s his life. And he’s pretty much alone except for the staff and me. He has me and will continue to have me for however long he needs a friendly smile.

I have learned so much working with dementia clients. I have learned to be mindful and present. I have learned to go with the flow. I have learned to embrace the moments of joy and laughter because they do disappear quickly. I have learned so much from each one of my elderly folks. I have heard stories of love, loss and regrets. I’ve been present when they return to another era and I get to be transported there through their words and actions. Sometimes it’s been like being inside of a time machine. Because…whenever they go back in time they are right there. And I can ask about smells, colors, music and feel their hallucinations as strongly as them. We get to feel the moments together.

They are aha moments. For both of us.

My life has been enriched by these powerful moments. I’ve been truly blessed by the connections that will forever be a part of my own stories.

Take advantage of your mental health today. Right now. Feel the blessings for being here. Tomorrow is not promised. I love you.

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The Sacredness of Presence

I was able to watch the sun come up today driving kiddos to school. It was later than usual. And those aha moments began to gather. I breathed deeply at the traffic lights. I inhaled the sun peeking. I exhaled to the awareness of presence. I teared up at the beauty all around me in these mountains and I recited my prayers of gratitude.

Who you are today is a compilation of every past experience. And, you are nothing of what you will be tomorrow. That’s the beautiful mysticism of understanding the evolution of the soul.

You are the universe embodied in a human vehicle. You are a zillion cells and infinite years old. Things change every second. I urge you to pay attention.

I’ve been wealthy. I’ve been poor. I’ve been a follower. I’ve been a teacher. I’ve been an avid student. I been a mother. I’ve been a wife and a lover. I’ve been angry and happy and lost and found. I’ve been broken and pasted back together mending in my private times. None of those labels will define my tomorrow because I am ever changing…but they have defined the soul I’ve become at this moment. Every single challenge and experience has molded me. It’s never the end. We are semicolons pausing and quickly beginning a new phase. Every single day.

Just as the sun rising and the night returning…You get to restart and reinvent yourself over and over. It’s a divine privilege. It’s your human right.

So don’t let the stress of tomorrow overshadow the sacredness of presence now. You will never be this young again. You will continue to grow in spirit and the moment you become aware of your power life will begin to shift.

I love you. Be present. Make it a point to stop, have a conscious breath, and taste your life for what it is. Whether it’s good or bad it is your life. And you can change it whenever your accept that this is not a prison life sentence. It is truly a magical experience of endless proportions.

~m.a.p.

Energies

Several people, including close friends, have commented on a bizarre feeling that’s been inhabiting them for weeks. It’s been intensified during March. The comments are all similar in nature: “I feel anxious for no reason. I am restless. I feel stuck. I feel uncertain. My body hurts. I’m numb. I am out of sorts….” I have heard the same message over and over for some time. I get asked how and why this is happening? The short version of my answer is “I don’t know.” The long version is that there is some form of cosmic activation happening in a conscious and metaphysical plane. The energy is swirling and I wish I wasn’t so sensitive to it. I feel it at night when I am coming out of my skin. Our little girl hasn’t been sleeping well for weeks. I get a sense that her little body isn’t aware of what’s happening since she’s truly wide open. We are all wide open, except some of us get hit with stomach issues, headaches, lethargic motions, sadness, insomnia, blah-ness and other ailments that seem to feel like doom. Just like you, I am surfing the waves when they arrive. Other times I am returning to breath and the moment. I keep reminding myself that I get to decide how I feel.

My darlings, you aren’t alone in your struggle. This is an odd and incredible exciting time. Things are moving in a faster pace and it seems we can’t get all that we are used to doing in a 24 hour time lot. It’s okay. Cut yourself some slack. There is such anger and hatred and complete inhumane energy moving through these accelerated times. There is anger everywhere and the cords of discomfort are being felt throughout the waves of consciousness. DO NOT think for one second that your thoughts aren’t attached to mine and the world. Do not believe for one moment that your emotions are not attached to this timeline everywhere. It’s all so very stagnate and yucky. It feels as if compassion and kindness have left our humanness. For now….only for a bit. I promise this isn’t going to last forever. Nothing ever does. I also promise you that when you accept your position as a warrior of light and love you will no longer be concerned with all the issues in the media…because you create your own reality.

I have to believe you and I, and everyone, can shift back to this moment and breathe in love. Your job is to align yourself back to Divine-love consciousness. Your purpose is to join the collective consciousness of greatness in compassion. We are here in human form, but our souls are endless. Let’s get back to our own spiritual spaces and ground our truth into the earth. The mind, body and spirit are being pulled and pushed with such horrific thoughts because that’s how we are controlled by the world. Fear is slavery. Let’s send love notes to the universe, regardless of our religious and political beliefs. God doesn’t care who you vote for, who you sleep with, and who you pray through….the Divine cares that we treat each other with dignity, integrity, love, compassion and hope. The moment we return to love…I am certain that we can fix just about anything. Until then…let’s just surf the waves of yuckiness and muckiness while trying to find moments of joy in our day. Go sit outside and take in nature. Make time to do nothing but be with your spiritual guidance. I haven’t got any other answer but to love one another. Apologize and forgive those who aren’t in your same belief systems or in your authentic alignments. Forgive and return to what matters….

We are giving birth to a new time. It’s exciting and fantastic. We are required to shift our perception from old programming. Let’s Mother the world with kindness.

Sending love to all. We are the force and the change we have been waiting for. We are here now. No more putting off and allowing others to dictate what we came here to accomplish. Love! ~m.a.p.

Find Yourself

There are times that we find ourselves in the middle of nowhere without any direction of where we came from and where we are going. We stand alone even in the midst of twenty people. The loneliness enters us through a single thought or opportunity that rattles the rest of the time spent with others. We stand alone in this place that is all part of our daily reality. And, the thoughts and emotions become very real. We become engulfed in the drama of the mind. It’s hard to move on. We begin to second guess every choice and decision. It’s all a vicious circle of uncertainty in the middle of illusions. We have no control of a single thing but how we react to our stories.

And, then there are those times that in the middle of nowhere we find our true selves. This can happen in one second from a stranger reaching out. Or, from a memory that catches up and everything becomes clear. We realize the patterns and synchronicity in our past and present. We know exactly who we are and what needs to be done. These are priceless moments. We get lost in the moment and return to the wonder of surprises that the Divine is holding for us. The present becomes the one and only generous gift that matters.

You never know what’s around the corner. Stay open to the endless world of possibilities. Have a blessed day!!!

You Are Worthy of Love

This is huge! Do you know why? Because it is so true for many of us. I was with someone for 18 years who would say I was the most difficult person to love. In my ignorance, I actually believed him.

Imagine that! I believed I should not love so deeply. I believed I was too much. I believed… that’s all. I believed because I didn’t love me.

You are so worthy of love. You come from love and evolve to loving the world. Do not take on someone’s narcissism or insecurities and make them your truth. Hell no!

You are magical. You are loving. You are alive with the very essence of divinity. Now go love harder. Love louder. Love fully and don’t allow anyone ever again to make you feel that loving others is a bad thing.