20 Seconds of Kindness

I ventured down the mountain this morning to run errands with the little one. I stopped at the Starbucks inside of Target. No one was in there. I asked the lovely barista how she was doing. She said, “Fine!”
I said, “Let’s try that again. How are you really doing? And let’s not use the word ‘fine.’ Give me something that tells me the beauty in you.”
She looked at me with her big blue eyes and stopped the busyness.
“Wow! Thank you for asking. I am lovely today. I feel like I am in a good place. It’s a Good day. Easy morning. Is it cold outside?”
I answered, “It’s dropping quickly!”
She asked what I wanted and I looked at her again asking about her day. If she was working a long shift? If she gets tired of coffee? Small talk but it allowed a small window into her world.
As she made my drink she said that it’s so difficult to connect with people. Everyone asks how they are doing but no one cares or really listens. It’s as if people are ants moving along a colony rushing to nowhere really!
We shared pleasantries. She was surprised at Kali’s generous manners and comments. Kali said to Amanda, the barista, that she had pretty eyes. The young woman laughed.
Here is the thing I find shocking and a bit disturbing: how much time does it take for anyone to really stop, ask someone about their day, and share a compliment or kindness? Are we really that lost in technology, or the addiction of chaos, that we have forgotten to be present with everyone around us? I get it! I get busy too. But, somehow I have learned to stay in the moment whenever I am out in public. And if there is no one behind me I take a little longer. It takes twenty seconds to say something nice!
My life changed drastically three years ago while leaving this human body and returning. I promised myself that whoever is in front of me, whether it’s a cashier, a homeless person, a child, an elderly soul, or anyone I would try to stay present. I would truly listen and notice their energy. Most of the time I can live up to my promise. Some days are a little challenging but it is then that I make a point of breathing the love from Humanity and allowing the flow of our existence move through me. I would be delusional to believe that our energies and frequencies aren’t connected. I have seen way too much to deny another a little attention.
Every single day you get a huge opportunity to be a kind human being. You get to practice spirituality and compassion with another. You get to be in the scope of Divinity. Let’s be mindful. We aren’t robots. You never know how that other person needs your words. This is our playground and we are here to share it with others. We are also responsible for teaching our children good manners and to also be respectful and kind with
Strangers.
I love you. Be kind. Be the best version of your humanness possible. Stop whenever possible and really notice the world around you!

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Your Here is not My Here

you are here

I was sitting waiting on some friends in front of an event. A man pulls up on a van, his wife steps out to get tickets, he and the children drive off to park and wait. He whistles at her in a coquette manner as she walks into the place. She ignores him. A short time later the wife steps out and frantically starts searching for them in the parking lot. She calls him on her cell rather loudly, “Hey, where are you?” He must’ve answered, “I’m here.” She then says sarcastically, “I AM HERE! If you were here I would see you. YOUR here is not MY HERE.” She sees the little girl waving and walks towards the end of the parking lot.

I sat there thinking about relationships. How many times don’t we think to ourselves, “I am here. Where are you? Why aren’t you seeing me?” It happens with out mates, our children, our parents, and even friends. We want to be acknowledged. We want to be heard. Nothing is more relevant than knowing that our presence is honored and appreciated.

Whenever I had something important to say to my young children I would make sure they stopped whatever they were doing. I sat or stood in front of them and asked for their attention. “Look at me for a second, sweetie….” Then to make sure it was heard I would ask them to please repeat it back to me. This was necessary because otherwise they didn’t seem to comprehend. With them, I used small sentences. I made sure there were no long explanations because children need simplicity. When my mother got ill I had to use the same technique. It’s usually in those few words that the brain understands that it needs to pay attention. The tone of your voice is vital in how another person listens.

And so it is in relationships! We are often asking, “Why am I being ignored?” But the question we should be asking is, “How am I saying this? What needs to change in my presentation in order to be present and acknowledged?” Are you yelling your thoughts into chaos? Are you screaming in anger? Are you ignoring that the timing might not be right? You cannot blame another for what they are thinking when their ‘here’ is not in alignment with the way you perceive it to be.

Listening and hearing are two different animals. One requires being. The other is just noise. We have been accustomed in this society to use the art of over thinking and analyzing. We are conditioned to go-go-go until we drop. Relationships suffer because of the multitasking and technology. Allow for YOUR HERE to be another person’s presence. Be willing to provide the sacredness of listening and being in the moment. There are things that are being lost in this new age of technology: speaking, being heard, and being able to decipher the importance of union with your loved ones.

Notice how a dog behaves when you walk out of the room and return. Your are in his “here.” Let’s be like dogs in our commitment to provide space for our loved ones. I see you. I feel you. I honor your existence. I love you. Have a great day.

Meridian

ocean of space

I wake kissing your words
with desire
hoping to always
remain here
while licking your heartfelt
love each morning
we are together.
I run fingers through
the meridian lines of
energy intercepting,
provoking and enticing You
to gather me up,
fold me and put me
into that place of heaven
only you know how to do.

Show up and be…

showing up

When I was in my first year of college I took British Literature.  I had an amazing professor.  He never took attendance or gave out tests until the end of the semester.  His only policy was “show up and be present and I promise you will be entertained.”  His strong British accent was charming.  The classes were remarkably full.  Students had to get there early enough to get a good seat.  He didn’t take attendance but the classes seem to increase with every passing day.  He explained that he wasn’t a babysitter.  He was there to do his job and get paid.  Our responsibility was to show up and learn to see the world in a different light.  Instead of studying about Oscar Wilde, Shakespeare, and other great writers he taught us about British lyrics (but always bringing it back to the past and these writers).  He made us see music and other media forms as literature.  This is way before the internet so there was no cheating in reference to what could happen within his hour and a half lectures.  His way of dissecting the world through words was fascinating.  And, his form of teaching adults, rather than teenagers was endearing.  It pushed us to take notice that we were responsible only for ourselves after leaving the harsh world of structure in childhood.

Show up and be present: such a simple policy!  We are asked every day to show up and be present in our lives through every breath.  We are only expected to learn, love and live through every moment.  This simplicity is perhaps too juvenile for us to follow.  Showing up and being completely present would require us to remove ego and allow the Divine to be the guide.  It would also relinquish the stagnation of having to follow rigidity and complexity.   Accepting things as they happen would collaborate with our higher selves (and purpose) in a way that is magical.

We are asked to attend our lives with beauty, awareness, compassion and faith.  Somehow even while given such freedom to do whatever we want we complicate the journey.  Going from high school into college without structure of being told what to do can be daunting, but in this literature class it was pure joy.  No one wanted to miss the opportunity to learn.  Imagine that!  No hardcore structure, yet learning was made fun.  This is truly the way we are to live our lives.  The manner in which we establish our presence is always so uncompromising, inflexible and single minded at times.

What could happen if we allow God to do the job?  What could happen if you got out of your own way for once and allow Presence to guide you?  What would it look like if you showed up and enjoyed the process instead of partaking in restrictions of what to do and not do?  I bet we would be amazed.  I am sure we would live for the joy of living and not having to attend one more day with ingratitude.  Let’s just try it for a bit! SHOW UP! Be present in your existence. Remove the masks, old beliefs, and be authentic.  Listen to your inner guidance when it’s time to slow down and smell the roses. Living is a privilege so take advantage of the adventures.

Birth of a Woman

birth

When a woman is born

from the awareness of lost love

hope finds a nest in her heart

and memories no longer

reside with bitterness.

Each turn, curve, and path

become the journey towards peace

without regard of destination

as she arrives there solely through forgiveness.

 

When a woman is born

out of darkness and sorrow

Divinity steps in with a golden lantern

shining light never seen before

on the future now guided by wisdom,

grace and love.

 

When a woman is born

from truth and authenticity

the world respects her

and nothing is ever viewed the same

because it isn’t what is seen with eyes

but captured through heart and soul.

 

Love lies in the self knowledge

of femininity, fertility,

and intimacy mirroring

in such a way that she doesn’t recognize

her transformation…at first.

 

When a woman is born

from the frailties of pain

her angel wings grow wider,

her muscles stronger,

her heart elongates to touch the essence of God.

It is in those moments that all doubts resign

and the “I AM” returns to the world

in the form of motherhood to herself.

Bite Size Reminders

Yesterday while working in our backwoods I got red ants all over my arms and legs.  For over a week I’ve been pulling out weeds, cleaning debris, and taking out poison ivy from the roots.  Luckily I am not allergic to poison ivy because the place is full of it.  It’s definitely invasive just like the kudzu.  As I was transplanting some moss and ferns a colony of red ants made their way throughout parts of my body.  I was rushing because it was late afternoon and I was tired.  I stopped being present in what I was doing.   When I felt them on me I stomped and went to the creek to get them off.  Unfortunately, it was too late for my arms.  I was covered with bites.  Nonetheless, at that moment I poured water and kept on working.  My body was on that go-go state and the bites really didn’t hurt.

Last night I was miserable.  No matter how much lotion I put on the bites I resumed to scratching and tearing out my arms and legs.  Several times I got up and got ice cubes to rub on the welts for some minor relief.  This reminded me of how difficult it is to ignore the sting when we are hurt by others.  Red ants attack when they feel attacked.  I was in their space.  They were minding their own business when I invaded their place.  Isn’t it just like that sometimes with people?

It is difficult to avoid a sting or bite from another person even if they aren’t closed to us.  Our ego gets a huge bruise and we take things to heart.  We worry, create anxiety, and hold remorse.  A lot of times issues arise between two people that have nothing to do with that particular moment.  Sometimes it’s just that we are in the wrong place at the wrong time.  You can never know what is happening inside of another person.  I also know that usually the people closest to us are the ones who feel they can let go and attack.

My little welts (that aren’t little anymore) are a reminder that it is hard to focus on something else when pain gets a hold of me.  I found myself even apologizing to the ants the moment I saw them all over me.  And, that’s another thing we don’t do when we enter into a place of hurt with another…we don’t remove ego out of the equation and apologize for our invasion.  Whether you are wrong or right those three simple words, “I AM SORRY!” are magical.   Often times an apology is the bridge between a sleepless night and one without worry.

Sometimes welts, scars and hurt are created by our invasion in others’ lives.   We are co-creators and participants of each other.  The pain we take on is always a lesson and once we recognize the significance we can move on.  If we are present and aware of our actions many times we can avoid those moments.  We can then walk away and not be intruders in someone else space.  Mindfulness would have been a savior for me yesterday.  Now don’t mind me, I have to go put on more lotion on these suckers…it is going to be long itchy day.