Rise Above It All

Many years ago I had a lot of money. In a matter of a day, right before 9/11 we lost it all. Millions. The stock market plunged. Our business also struggled after 9/11. There was no money or sources to pull from. At the time we were in the midst of building a new home and mortgaged my older one to the max.

I had an accident November of that year. I lost my memory. I was 33 years old but I woke up thinking I was 19. Six children and a partner were unrecognizable to me. I was devastated feeling like a stranger in my own house…a house I couldn’t conceive as mine. I felt as if I was in an alternate reality. Nothing made sense. The more people tried to tell me what and how I needed to feel, the angrier I became. My reality didn’t match up with what I was experiencing. I ended up in the psych ward of a horrible state hospital until they recognized that I was not crazy. I had amnesia from being whacked on the back of the head in a park. But since I didn’t know what had happened to me I couldn’t tell them how I lost my memory. I couldn’t remember a single event past the age of 19. Slowly the memories began to unfold. It took a long time. And, still I have no recollections of a lot of events from the past before the accident.

Let me tell you what happens when you have lost all that you know. You either give up or you fight to get back to a place of optimum security. You either die or live. There is no in-between. At the moment of pure desperation, heartache, and shock the ache will force you to choose.

I’m here to beg you to rise above it all, darling! Choose life. There is always a solution once you take accountability for your life and your story. Because that’s all it is: a story. It’s not permanent. It changes moment to moment.

Your story is created every second of the day. Don’t get stuck in victimization mode. Don’t blame another for your choices. You are responsible for you. Forgive and allow your soul to lead the way.

Please know you have folks who will help. Rise!!!! I believe in you. I know your struggle is real but your presence here is a miracle. ~m.a.p.

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The Cost of Faith

Recently, speaking with a friend over some challenges I said, “Have faith. I feel it always works out in our best interest!”

To my surprise she answered, “Faith is like hope…it isn’t always available.”

I don’t resonate with this. Faith has allowed me to walk blindly into places without fear. It has grounded me to let go of expectations while trusting in Divine guidance. It has removed anxiety and desperation. But…that’s just me. Faith and Hope are Mystical. And I choose to believe.

Faith is not an ability to foresee the outcome of a situation. It isn’t the holding on and believing the far circumstances of every tomorrow. Faith is the anchor that holds certainty even when it doesn’t look good. It is taking every single step blindly while knowing that the Universe has your best interest. You aren’t in control so let go and let God! ~m.a.p.

Waking Up to Truth

Live with full abandonment…

Somehow we get so focused on the end. We forget that every second is a new beginning. We try to control our lives and others fearing the moment we are to die. I am not afraid of dying. I am afraid of not living fully. I am frightened of not sucking the joy out of this journey because of a bad day or situation. I am terribly mortified by the thought of taking another day for granted because of obstacles. I want to live. I want to live like I haven’t wanted to live before. I want to meet like-minded people with laughter and intelligence. I want to hear their stories. I crave to touch and love and dive into their journey. I want to enjoy this incarnation with truth and purpose.

We connect this way. So…NO…I am not afraid of physical death. I am, however, consciously aware that I forget to live every second to the fullest. I forget to breathe and let go at times. I allow my humanness to take over and I get angry for a moment. This passes. And, when it does I recall the yumminess of breathing and traveling this life while my soul is giving my humanness a giant high five. What a gift! What a magnificent ride!

We entertain anxiety because of fear. We fear because of not being able to control. We control because we have been taught that we have a say. We have a say because we are programmed to believe that the ego can actually fix things. In the end it’s all a lie. We can’t control anything. The illusion of life is based on internal experiences of the outer world. Our perceptions guide us and in moments make us very ill. We have no say or control except on how we choose to live our realities. All we can do is travel with our heads up, love, laugh and truly learn to live. We are not merely existing. We are surviving all that is thrown our way and we should be spiritually evolving because of everything that we experience on the path of life.

Do yourself a favor and stop the insanity of control. Stop putting off living for when you retire, or have money, or whatever. Use the fancy dishes. Wear the clothes you want. Use your smiles and your hands to touch others. Buy memories instead of things…and for heaven’s sake, love fully with complete abandonment Especially for yourself. ~m.a.p.

Finding Faith

Faith is not found when everything is going smoothly. Faith is witnessed when the world collides with chaos and struggles. That’s when we search for her. Often times we are angry because we feel she’s abandoned our space.

Let me share how I see Faith:

She’s in the nights when you are crying yourself asleep because a loved one is dying near you, or when your wife has decided to walk out of your relationship, or when your child has ended up in jail. She is lighting the path for a new job, better opportunities and safer place for you. She’s in the aches and brokenness of your fears and the disappointments of your expectations.

Faith is sitting quietly waiting on you to grab her and shake every cell in you to trust her and let go of the situation. She is there to take over if you just let go of the control. She’s the light that gives way into darkness.

When your world comes apart and you cannot find reasons to logically make sense of anything…that is when Faith is seen and felt. That’s when she whispers through your personal beliefs, “I’m here. I have something better. I will work on this. Trust!”

I have met many religious folks who have zero faith. They go to church every week but when their world gets rattled by hard obstacles their faith is completely absent. They live in fear and lack belief. They basically abandon all belief and break into eternal darkness.

And then I’ve met some folks who say they don’t believe in anything. When things happen they have found something stronger than themselves to carry them through it. They say they believe in themselves.

So what is faith? It is religious? Is it your higher self taking over? Is it a deep spiritual knowing that you are here to learn and evolve? Is it the opportunity to shift awareness and shift into something powerful? Is it you? Is it God?

We have all experienced horrific acts in our lives. We have undergone atrocities. We have overcome major obstacles. Some of you are experiencing these things right now.

What keeps you going? What’s the thing or substance that allows you to get up and keep moving through it all?

For me Faith is complete trust. Regardless of what’s happening I trust that it’s for something better. It’s to take me places I need to experience. Every decision is part of the process and Faith is there to take the wheel.

The Divine in You

In India there is a Sufi story about creation and where to put God (or the Divine or whatever name you place on a higher power): “If we put God at the bottom of the ocean, man will dive there. If you place God on a mountaintop, man will climb there in search of him. But if we put God inside of him, man will never think to look there.”

In many spiritual philosophies and theories it is said that the next teacher is just around the corner. When needed to grasp a powerful lesson she (or he) will appear as a mighty ferocious warrior ready to embark you in a journey questioning faith, love and patience. In a second she takes her sword to conquer the ego and the false perception of truth, control and belief. Usually this great warrior appears in the path of adversities, addiction, loss, physical crisis or a significant event that forces us to search for inner strength. And it is in her presence that we are humbled to bow and listen while she takes that sword and smacks it on us to pay close attention to what is important leaving us bruised, achy and tired.

I am blessed to have had a warrior like Xena show up recently. I am being pushed to those extremes and reminded that nothing happens by mistake. Her teachings are magical and condensed to make the lessons stick without much time to rest before the next battle. It’s in those times that I get quiet and find the God within me and how I don’t have to run around looking for him out there. I get to see him looking at me through the eyes of another –a soul-to-soul mystical connection. I get to witness true cosmic changes through every action and reaction.

This is the Divine Feminine in me reminding me of my strength. It is God through all others that reflects those parts of myself that need improvement or attention. I am embraced by divine energy shielding me from any real harm. I am what I am. I am who I am and I will not apologize for that. We all have the power to look within and find God. He/she isn’t on some cloud in the sky treating you like a puppet. He isn’t to blame for your choices. He isn’t here to punish you. He/she is within the walls of your physical body, the embodiment of all that is humble, compassionate, and graceful. It’s our nature to detect, accept and reject what doesn’t suit us. You can only meet another at the level of their consciousness and divinity.

How Ahhhhmazing, right!? To know that no matter how far and wide you search for faith, it is sitting right inside of you the whole time. And it is through the external forces of another that we are reminded of our divine purpose and our right to keep compassion for those who hurt us. It’s through forgiveness that we find God really displaying our humanness. It’s through the miracles of love that we accept it in us. I am forever grateful for the opportunity to strengthen my tools, heart and mind in this game called life.