The Cost of Faith

Recently, speaking with a friend over some challenges I said, “Have faith. I feel it always works out in our best interest!”

To my surprise she answered, “Faith is like hope…it isn’t always available.”

I don’t resonate with this. Faith has allowed me to walk blindly into places without fear. It has grounded me to let go of expectations while trusting in Divine guidance. It has removed anxiety and desperation. But…that’s just me. Faith and Hope are Mystical. And I choose to believe.

Faith is not an ability to foresee the outcome of a situation. It isn’t the holding on and believing the far circumstances of every tomorrow. Faith is the anchor that holds certainty even when it doesn’t look good. It is taking every single step blindly while knowing that the Universe has your best interest. You aren’t in control so let go and let God! ~m.a.p.

The Return


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Something woke


after a long sleep of doubts,

anger, hurt and questions

that buried me

inside an open tomb,

leaving the exposure to heal

with the openness of One.

I had forgotten my power,

the thoughts that co-create

with the universal aid of intentions;

those same delicious frequencies

that magically take me here and there.

I had forgotten

waking up with such joy

that I skip out of my room

while bones crack and stretch

reminding me to slow down.

I don’t care.

This is the meaning of living.

This is the ebb of sorrow and joy

taking it all and pasting it back together

without giving up.

It’s easier to give in,

give out, give up, and forget.

No more!

I have been sleeping in such darkness

for too long and allowing no one

to turn on the light.

I needed to feel the switch,

pass my hands through its coldness,

in the rawness of despair,

so I could turn it on…so I could do it alone.

Clarity arrives with rest and prayer.

Awareness returns with faith.

I hear the ringing of truth in one ear.

I see the element of surprise ahead.

I taste the juices of excitement.

I smell the sweetness of success…

for all that I have put out into the openness.

I’ve returned.

I am home in me again.

It’s been a long time…too long.

The heart echos softly, “Welcome back!”

Live Your Truth


Truth can be ugly. It can be shameful and full of guilt. It lies and cheats and threatens to take away our lives. But, it is also freeing. It’s the catalyst to who we are and what we can become.

Truth is the rawest form of you.

If you allow for it to surface and give it love, truth can send you off on a magical adventure. While you avoid it you are living in a hellish world that makes you sick, paranoid and delusional.

So, surrender to it and set it free from the prison of your mind.

The hardest thing for us to do is follow our desires. We are afraid of following our dreams if it means not living up to the expectations of our family and friends. We avoid making time for what we want because responsibilities come first. They don’t. That’s an illusion.

What comes first is you and your authentic acceptance of what makes you happy. That’s truth. That’s your truth. Your truth is only a perception in your life. No one will be able to understand where you come from with truth, or what you are trying to accomplish because they are living in their own realm of perception too. But it is YOUR truth. And that’s what matters!

I recently sat with a loved one and indulged in letting go of so many secrets and fears. It was freeing, embarrassing, shameful and…yet…like an emotional diet I lost a ton of weight from carrying it all inside. The truth does set you free.

I wasn’t aware that I was living in fear of rejection and other imperfect emotions that make me the neurotic woman that I am when I hold it all inside. But, in the neurosis, I recognized that Truth needed to vent. It needed a voice. It wasn’t going to be pretty or comfortable. Nope! It was going to come out like a massive volcano eruption and I feared for whoever would be the person to provoke it. Thank goodness, it was someone who has the ability to understand me and allow for me to be exactly who I am. Cause I am not pretty when I am full of volcanic ash all over me. I am not easy to calm down either.

But that’s okay. I can get to a happy place pretty quickly once the truth comes out. Nothing like giving birth to those things that keep us up at night, churning into something larger than what it really is. The mind amplifies everything we feed!

You do not have to uncover every detail of your past. You also don’t have to go back there and reside forever in your mistakes. You are who you are because of everything that has happened to you. You are the sums of every experience…the good and the bad. Each challenge, loss, and lesson molds you to become the highest possible spiritual being on this land. The evolution of your soul goes through these growth spurts because you need to grow.

Speak your truth, even if it leaves you shaking. You don’t have to share all the details of your life with anyone. When I say, speak your truth, I mean become YOUR truth. Become who you are here to be. You need to stop worrying about what others think or say. You need to put the crap to rest. At the end of your life you won’t even remember that. You will, however, remember that you didn’t live up to all the things your heart and soul desired. Follow that!

Be the authentic YOU that was genetically implemented here. If you can’t find your purpose, then keep asking every night before going to bed. Let your consciousness show you through messages via dreams or a giant billboard on your way to work. You will eventually wake to remember what you are here to do. I promise!

**Note to self: We don’t need another Mother Teresa or Nelson Mandela. We need you. Don’t try to fix the world. Fix you, and let the world live by your examples!

I Don’t Have to Know You to Really Feel For You


I don’t know you, personally. I don’t have to in order to feel your pain when you feel lost. I don’t have to know your story to understand that you feel broken and shattered. You feel alone and depleted. I recognize the fake smile, the “I’m fine” comment, and the gestures that arrive when you are hiding something because of guilt or shame. It’s universal. It is not just English. It’s Spanish, French, Arabic, Italian, and every other form of dialect in the world. The echoes in your soul are transparently opened to another who is feeling the same way. I know you. I might not be able to touch you, but I know when I see someone holding on to the edge of a rope next to the end of their life…begging to be saved. I know that look, that blank stare of frustration, that only someone who has been there recognizes. There is little hope, and I know that too. You aren’t the only soul to have a bad week, a horrible month, and a frustrating year. This is all crappy sometimes. It’s not an easy job to be in this human race.

I’m here to remind you that you are playing a game that’s created by your own programming. You are not a victim of your circumstances. You are the creator of those challenges in a subconscious level that requires some amazing awareness. Your sense of loss is very real but you get to decide if you stay holding on to the rope, let go into faith, and soar above everything else without certainty. It’s simply that easy. And, yes, faith can’t be seen, and at times, it can’t even feel real. It is a matter of trusting something other than yourself. It’s feeling the awesomeness of the universe holding you up…it’s waiting to catch you once you let go.

I don’t have to know what you feel. I don’t even need to be in your presence to understand that you require a shift in perception. You require a change of scenery. You need to abandon this moment of chaos and give yourself a break. Just do it!

Go for a walk. Go stand under a tree. Go talk to the clouds, to a friend, to your dog, or to anyone. Go chase a sunset and welcome a sunrise. You got to distance yourself from the drama of what seems to engulf this sadness. Cause, darling, there is always a way out without thinking of checking out. There is always a person who can adjust your sails and send you back on course. Reach out! You are not alone with this devastation of loss and hopelessness. I promise you that!!!

You are love. You are divinity dressed in this freaking magnificent human form. You can create anything you want…but first you must believe in YOU. Believe in every cell that consists of your physical body, every emotion that has created your spirit, and every aspect that has brought you right here, right now. Go be the most amazing form of you the world is yet to witness….! You’ve seen some spectacular things in your life (some not so great). We’ve all have…but keep going cause the best days are still ahead for you!



We ask. We pray. We yell and demand whatever it is we think will change our lives. We want it now. We want it yesterday. We ask some more. And in the asking we skip over the moments of quietude to wait for an answer from Divinity. Spirit has a way sending signs (literally in a huge billboard) or a song, a word from a stranger or a passage from a book. We get consumed in the illusion of what we assume would be the perfect answer. Listen through synchronicity. You know what you know that you know. So stop placing the stress OUT THERE to the universe without paying attention to your inner voice. You are the creator of your life and the Universe is your co-pilot of creation. Until you believe that you manifest what you desire you will continue to ask the outer world to fix what you can do yourself. Hold your knowing tightly and pay attention to the calmness of spirit. Your soul knows that timing is everything. Ask and it is given…but most of the time it is in a way that your imagination can never have created. It’s sweet and loving and magical.

The Magic of these Moments

magic of moments

There is something mystical happening in the past few nights. Actually, it has been happening for weeks now. I don’t quite know how to describe it. I don’t feed into fear, or the theories of what’s shifting and what’s not. I don’t buy into what anyone says will happen in September. I am not a prophet. What I am is a highly sensitive, highly conscious spiritual being participating in this human experience. Because I came in with such sensitivity (and sense of wonder) I am aware of the eternal and external world that others don’t bother to see. It’s not that I have any powers. I just sit and listen. I have been sitting in silence for many years through meditation and contemplation. If you sit long enough to leave your head space you, too, can feel this shifting that is passively expanding with love and beauty.

The earth is opening up with a huge hug and embracing us….let’s join her in this place of compassion. There’s extraordinary multi-dimensions at our finger tips.  An open minded consciousness is all that’s needed to see.  All those entities that occupy space here (and there are many of all forms, shapes, sizes and destinations) are trying to find a middle ground to inhabit without violence. We need peace.  We require harmony.  We must shift into this awareness  because w are connected via breath. We don’t always need to agree. We don’t need to know each other. We just need to share this blue-green dot in the universe that is infinitely bringing us together in its real estate. Sending love to you all and wishing you a delightful summer weekend. Shift your thoughts so you can feel the magic of all that you were created to remember. Remember? Recall your purpose here….it’s always a thought away!  This is the magic of moments.

Whispers from Divine

divine divinity

I love guests who sit and I can ask for their stories. This week we’ve had a couple and their two adorable children staying in the cottage. Today after Bobbie and I spread gravel on the driveway I asked her to sit for a minute with us. She shared that she’s a Lutheran Pastor. So of course I had to ask her if I could get intimate with her by asking a few valuable questions. Shelly looked at me and said, “I will try my best to answer.”

What is God?” I asked.

She was taken aback for a split second. “Oh, wow, God is….there is no definition. God is everything good but He’s the all.” She smiled and her face lit in such a way that I could feel her passion for faith. She continued with a few adjectives, description and stopped enough to compose herself. I think I caught her off guard with that question. But…her answer is invaluable.

What does the world need more of?”

She answered, “These are really good questions. The world needs more good. More of God. More of love and honor and faith. The world needs so much of what is available but most don’t get it. We live in such a rich society. It isn’t until you go elsewhere that you realize how privilege we really are in this country.”

I asked her about her sweet husband. He works for a non-profit organization. He travels to Haiti. They, as a couple, lived in Haiti for a while before having their children. She described her experience as humbling and priceless. Kent writes Christian books about such experiences. I was in awed of her humility, the way she shares her smile along with her faith, and the way love exudes them both when they are in each others’ presence. There is a connection of respect, awareness, and spirituality. Once she shared I understood what I was witnessing for days when they would walk the property.

I ask these questions a lot to strangers who I feel will be receptive to them. I love the answers. But hers was so openly available. She didn’t hesitate. She immediately expressed with her hands and her light brown eyes the love for God. There is magic and mysticism in those who walk in awareness of Spirit. There is certainty even in the unknown.

I recently read somewhere that the essence of faith was being satisfied with all that is Divine/God in us. I am paraphrasing since I can’t remember the exact wording and who quoted this. Heck, with my memory I probably have screwed up the entire quote. The point is that we might not like the lessons but they are there for the highest evolution of the soul. What do we need to release? What are we needing to learn? How many times do I need to go through the same drama? When do I start to surrender to the unknown?

Spirit moves us through each touch of a stranger, a hug from a friend and an act of kindness when you don’t need anything in return. Character is our strength through allowance of love. The essence of faith is not in prayer and then trying to control the situation. The essence of faith is in complete surrender to whatever the Divine has for us. The more good you do the more good returns. This cycle of life is about loving to the infinite degree and trusting that which cannot be seen to guide us. You are all AWEsome! Let go and let your intuition guide you through the whispers of divinity!