Celebrate the Temporary

There are things I have stopped doing because of time limitations. I used to send cards in the mail to friends. I loved doing it. The act of writing a short note made me so happy, but down time now fulfills me more. I am stretched at times between long hours at work and family. Even the thought of entertaining during the weekend becomes a chore (which I love as well).

Yesterday one of the volunteer grammas in the classroom said something and I told her that nothing lasts forever. Things come and go. She used the perfect phrase at the moment of hearing this: “celebrate the temporary.”

Being in the moment of what is can free up the guilt and shame of not being able to do what you have been programmed to believe that you have to keep doing. If this means letting go of sending greeting cards for now…then be it. If it means not visiting with loved ones…it’s not forever. If it means letting the laundry pile up or the dust bunnies take over for just a little bit longer…it’s okay.

Our addiction to busyness is excessive. It’s sickening and exhausting. Nothing lasts infinitely except how you perceive things. You get to shift that thought process. This is the art of living mindfully while celebrating the temporary. Celebrate the now and give it your best. Tomorrow things may change. The job will not demand so much. The debts may be paid off. The illness may turn to full health. The situations and challenges will evolve. They might not be how you wanted or expected but they will change. Life is fluid. It’s made of eternal fluxes of movements.

Look back at all the crap you’ve survived. Here you are. Right now. Celebrate that! Let go of what you think you should be doing and feel what you are living in the moment.

I love you!

(Note: this meme says so much about how we always feel the need to explain ourselves to others. DO NOT! That simple).

The Struggle To Do Nothing

magic of doing nothing

Standing or walking have become exquisite gifts taken for granted. A pulled tendon on top of my right foot has impeded me from doing all the normal daily activities I enjoy…like walking to the creek, going to the back of our gorgeous property, and just taking a step down the stairs to go to the car. The things we do on a daily basis can be taken away in one second and we don’t know how to adjust to the ever changing times.

It’s not easy to just sit. And, so when the doctor tells me that the healing is slow and I must rest the foot, I feel crippled. I have a two year old. That alone says a lot about mobility.

For over three weeks my body has been at a halt. It has endured questions on everything from weight, health and pain. I have had a lot of time to ponder from the sofa, while writing and working, to determine that I have a difficult time adjusting to being with me for too long without mobility. Cause, let’s be honest, while we are keeping busy we don’t have to entertain the internal demons that hide through a busy mind.

I have encountered generosity from amazing souls in my lifetime. It’s hard for me to receive. I enjoy giving and nurturing others. I love being able to be there when someone needs an ear, a hand, or just a friend in silence. I cherish moments when I can give from my soul and sit in the openness of another person’s vulnerability. But, it’s truly hellish to be in my own struggle of doing nothing and feeling the rawness of my own soul asking and begging for nourishment. It’s difficult to just be with me this long and not be able to entertain the ego with something else. It’s excruciating…imagine that! Life will provide the lessons needed to learn at the precise moment we avoid them the most.

Sometimes it requires a hard up accident, a near death experience, or simply a stupid pulled tendon for us to truly stop and listen. When we don’t listen to the whispers, they will begin to scream through what we avoid the most. Going on helping others is wonderful, but we must take care of ourselves first.

Yesterday, in the car with my husband, I broke down. I could barely say anything as I kept wiping the tears over and over, not daring them to touch the bottom of my face. I couldn’t quite explain the reason for them. I am sure, lately, he’s been witnessing a neurotic woman who is coming out of her skin. But, the tears have bottled up within a trying and challenging week full of issues with some of my grown children, and my inability to be able to do anything. I can’t do anything but be here. Even if my foot was perfectly fine, I can only send love and share in their struggles. However, pain intensifies all emotions. It clearly drains anything that’s been held up for a long time. Pain is a master at shifting our consciousness. It will force and bring forth whatever is being avoided.

Deep Sigh…

Vulnerability comes during moments of complete awareness when the soul is screaming for attention. And, when we aren’t courageous in the ability to let go and share, vulnerability will grab our perception in another way. We aren’t meant to lock up and dismiss our emotions. Vulnerability is the willingness to surf the ego and accept the nothingness and everythingness of our lives. It sucks at times, especially if you aren’t an emotional person. I, however, am an extremely emotional soul…to fault. I can cry at a drop of a hat about anything that doesn’t pertain to me. But, the moment I feel that pull in my heart about something that’s inside, I get completely erratic.

And, today, as I head out to Georgia to do a workshop on releasing the inner child, I realize wholeheartedly that the inner child has been releasing since the pain started. Isn’t that a kicker? I have visited parts of my own little girl in order to truly accept me in my most vulnerable state.  The struggle has been in allowing my busy mind to stop and do nothing.  It’s an art of sorts. Creating nothing takes work!

Sit long enough with yourself to love all aspects of you. I don’t say this lightly. I say it because I have been experiencing it in hyper mode. And, for those who think that your inner child doesn’t need tending, remember how you feel when your favorite TV comes on, or how you experience the simple things in your daily life. That’s a little girl or little boy, thanking you for nourishing them.

Deliberate Craziness

I’ve been busy…inside my head.  Yes, we’ve had a major remodeling in one of our rooms that took over two weeks.  Yes, we’ve had guests come in and out, especially with a new phenomenal outdoor pizza oven.  Yes, I’ve been entertained in a new and wonderful relationship.  The busyness in my head has taken over full-time.  I haven’t been able to do my morning rituals as often as I normally do them.  I haven’t gone hiking in days.  I haven’t spent time playing outside in the creek picking up rocks and grounding myself.  The busyness in my head has been enough to keep me on a roller coaster ride.  I’ve created scenarios and drama that put a Broadway Show to shame.  I create my thoughts therefore I can delete them at any time.  Deliberate craziness doesn’t suite me!  It disrupts me in too many ways.

Yesterday I was returning from a short trip.  The plane was relatively full of great energy as opposed to the craziness I faced on Thursday evening.  Across from me there was this South American couple who had brought their child to Disney World.  They had the stuff animals, the t-shirts, and an array of endorsements coming out from the bottom of their seats.  The man sat in the middle; the woman sat on the aisle seat; and the little boy against the window.  I observed them for quite a while.   The manner in which they spoke to each other was terribly endearing.  South American couples have a way of speaking very proper Spanish that put us Caribbean folks to shame.  Their language and gestures are always slow and gentle.  It would be similar to listening to an English couple as opposed to an American one.

Couple on plane

At some point the woman found a nook against her husband and went to sleep.  Now, the sleeping part is common on a plane.  I had a lady snoring next to me.  The gentleness that came over this couple made me tear up.  He held his wife in a very loving manner while reading a magazine and still entertaining his son.  This is when I left my head.  I gave up with trying to figure anything else out.  I just took a picture with my phone and closed my eyes (and no, I am not into voyeurism but it was a very tender moment that needed further documentation).  I drifted for a little while.  I had to get the hell out of my intimate thoughts.  I was determined to give myself that gentleness that the woman found in her husband.  Even driving the hour and a half home from the airport I focused on the mountains, my breathing, and being gentle with my thoughts.

Busyness is habitual.  I know it well.  I also know when it’s time to get back to simplicity.  I returned to our retreat center to a wonderful lunch made by my best friend, joined by another amazing friend.  We sat outside for hours on the dock and talked.  Oh, it was a lovely afternoon.  No matter how far I go, how much I do, those intimate moments laughing with friends make the world a better place.  The busyness left me.  I was able to sleep peacefully last night.  I woke up to write extensively in my journal.  My candles have been lit, soft music plays in the background, and the earth is waking to another gorgeous mountain day.

Bobbie has a sign over the entrance of her front door, “Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”  I love my life.  I can’t imagine it any other way.  But the past few months have been on overdrive and I am ready to start slowing it again.  Making each moment count is important to me.  The busyness in my little head is not!  May you find a space in your busy life to slow down and enjoy the moments because life is created by YOU.