Be Happy

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The absence of proof is not necessarily proof of any evidence. You want to hold certainty in your hands and it can’t be done. It’s not available. The proof of life is in living and being aware of your humanness.

Imagine: You lie dying on a bed. Do you speak about politics, religious indifferences, race or cultural issues? Nope!You speak about loved ones. You tell stories of your lovers and spouses. You share about your childhood. You do not listen to this timeline full of sensational news. You don’t care what is happening out there. You want to know about places far and wide that you didn’t get to visit. You express your love of sunrises, fast cars, delicious food and beautiful company. You marvel at the journey, often with regret and other times with admiration. Politics, war and indifferences do not matter at this time. They are not held captive in your presence. Why? Why do we give so much energy to those things that will not reside in later years when we will be ready to transition into death?

Make your thoughts count. Create energetic moments that will transcend your existence when you are in your last breath. You are a creator of your reality. At the end of your life you will remember the first pretty girl you kissed, the puppy you got that Christmas, the horse ride you took in the trip, the way your child felt upon your chest…. You will not care how much money you owe or if you cleaned under the bed or if there is expired food in the pantry. Life is a precious commodity so use it for greatness. Make moments count so that when you are ready to embark into the light you will feel joy and not sorrow; love and not hatred, admiration and not regrets.

Go be happy. Fake it till you make it if you must. But, remember that you decide how you feel and react to everything that happens around you. Don’t keep waiting for a tomorrow that might never arrive. Have a blessed day y’all!

Spiritual Deprivation

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When asked about the common subjects people talk to me about I always say “Love and Spirit.” People will share their love and stories without filter. It’s a given! They will unload information in a heart beat. The second subject is always along the lines of spiritual deprivation. Folks are in need of magic, mysticism, miracles, and faith. They want to know that there are others out there with the same curiosity and open-conscious level of understanding. They want to know that this is just not all of it…you know, the concept of living just to pay bills. Because, frankly, it’s not!

I am blessed to know (and my list continues to grow) hundreds of spiritual people. They are from all walks of life: Christians, Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, and even non-denominational. I also know many religious folks who come across as spiritual but in truth they are all mind and no heart. To me spirituality is having a compassionate heart tied to a faith in something greater than ourselves that is non-violent and non-judgmental. If you are judging, criticizing and point all sorts of fingers to another while reciting God’s name, well darling, you aren’t spiritual. You are something else. Unfortunately there are a lot of religions based on the mastery of manipulation and the heart has to be taken out of the equation. You cannot love and hate at the same time. Impossible!

A few friends showed up this weekend from Florida and Georgia. Ah…the beauty of entertaining like-minded souls is in the allowance. We were able to openly discuss so many subjects of the conscious mind. And the thing that kept coming up was spiritual deprivation and starvation. We are not connecting one on one with others. I know they are millions feeling this massive shift of awareness, however, due to the overwhelming negativity of the pointing-fingers syndrome, no one discusses their faith with anyone. No one wants to be ridiculed. No one wants to die. The deprivation grows larger and before you know we are all scattered and left to fend for ourselves and spirit.

Spirituality is a lonely path. My steps cannot be walked by you and vice versa. We can, however, compare the paths. We can discuss the different ways we come into prayer, contemplation and meditation. We can share experiences that are beyond this realm. We can go deep into conversations about stars, planets, and cosmic energy. We can trust in each other when someone says, “Yeah, I was back there talking to the fairies and then Stevie, the unicorn, brought me out of the forest.” Just because you haven’t experienced it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I haven’t experienced homelessness but I sure believe in it. I haven’t experienced war but I now it’s there. So, these are folks that want more. They crave for spiritual knowledge. They eat, sleep, watch and read all sorts of information trying to rationalize or enrich their faith. For centuries religions have done this. It’s part of our DNA, we must grow into the unknown. It’s pretty sad that in today’s world we can still be deprived by the simplest forms of human needs: mind, body and spirit.

I don’t have answers on how to find more spiritual connections. I really haven’t a clue. At least ten times a week I get a message from someone asking for spiritual retreats, meet-ups, or just comments on wanting connections with Spirit. I can only tell you that at times what you are looking into others is right inside of you if you just sit long enough to listen. There are some rough days I get up at 3AM angry as a hungry bear. Anger is not an emotion that suits me. It actually lowers every part of my cellular composition so I try real hard to just avoid the emotion. But, when it grabs a hold of me in the middle of the night, shaking me violently I know I must get to the nearest dark room, sit my butt down and disconnect from it. I am determined to raise my vibration to the highest form of love and dispel that emotion. I need to quiet the ego bitchiness and center myself to what matters. It’s in those moments that Spirit visits me. It’s in those precious minutes that the universe cradles me with unbelievable forms of awareness through love. And, it’s also in those times that forgiveness arrives and I can let go of all that is causing me such turmoil and chaos. I walk away feeling like me. I am still a spiritual being having a human experience. I am choosing to make it less dense with emotional baggage.

You have the answers to all your spiritual questions. You carry with you the spiritual knowledge to change and feed and enhance your life through divine guidance. You are all there is. Sure it’s awesome to share with others. Heck yeah! It’s comforting to know you aren’t bat-ass crazy and the looney farm has a room with your name on it waiting for you to check yourself in. That’s always wonderful to acknowledge. Likes attract likes. If you want more spiritually grounded individuals in your life you have to become one yourself without the fear of being scrutinized. You also have to look around your circle and realize when you have to let go of toxic energy. You have to put yourself in the arms of respect and self-worth. What good will it do you to find spiritual folks and then return to a place that destroys the yummy energy? Go love you. Go believe in yourself. Go be spiritual through the forest, by the shoreline, over the desert, on a mountain top. Just BE! You got this!

Knowing Unknowns

There is a saying that most people use when trying to make a point about certainty, “I know it (him/her) like the back of my hand.”  I haven’t really spent too much time knowing the back of my hand to be honest.  I, mean, if it was on a picture among other hands I would know mine (I think).  I don’t know why we use this jargon.  I also don’t know anyone that well.  I don’t even know myself completely.  Who does?  Do you truly know yourself?  Or, are you ever changing, evolving, transforming and moving in a way that surprises you? It sure surprises me.

I have said in many conversations that if “so and so happened to me I would react in such a manner.”  Whenever the Universe has provided a similar event, as an opportunity to grow, I have reacted completely different.  How I think and how I react are sometimes opposites.   I can’t really say anything for certain.  My life is forever changing.  All the shifts push me to think diversely because asymmetrically things are defining everything I think I should become in order to be happy.  It is truly ridiculous to entertain an idea and sit with it until it happens to you.  I am learning not to attach myself to any clichés.  I don’t know myself that well. The balance, the symmetry, and the idea of perfection is an illusion!

Life has a way of challenging our psyche.  It pushes us to a breaking point.  It causes us to see the world in a different manner to experience empathy with our spirit.  Just when I think I know something about me that is certain there is a new lesson guiding me to expand my thoughts, reactions, and outcomes.  I believe patience is born from these moments.  We get the opportunity to expand our perceptions.

Yesterday I was going through the “catch all” junk drawer in my room.  I found a picture of me with my kids when they were younger.  My ex and I took them on a cruise in May of 2007.  Everyone in the picture looks happy. If you look closely, even through my smile, there is a sadness that yells out, “I can’t do this charade any longer!”  We are all standing in front of a field in Old San Juan.  It is the perfect picture for a perfect vacation.  I don’t even know why I had kept that particular picture on this drawer.  I realized at that moment, while closely observing the faces, that my ex wasn’t happy at all.  He was hiding secrets behind his smile.  I was lamenting them and holding on to some belief that someone was going to pull me out of that relationship.  Funny how, in knowing myself, I really had no clue.  A picture captures the physical part of the world, but it also freezes a moment forever.  Who truly knows themselves?

I stared at that picture for the longest time.  I could see the exhaustion and tension inside of me.  Five of our six children stood there posing for the hundredth time.  They were hungry, hot, tired, and just wanted to run around.  I wanted to sit and do nothing.  My ex wanted to explore the jail and reminisce of Cuba.  I was a different person then.  If I think I don’t know myself well enough now, I know I knew nothing about that woman standing in the photograph.

If someone had shown me this picture about another family I am sure I would have commented on something esoteric.  Like, “look at the way the woman’s eyes seem sad. Or, look at the detachment from the man. Or, those kids look nothing alike.”  And then my humanness would have commented, “Why would anyone want such a big family?  How does one travel with that many kids?” I would have judged the idea of what we think we know.  The truth is we know nothing.  We know even less when ego gets a hold of us in a moment of frenzy.

There is no originality to me that stays grounded forever.  I am ever changing.  Events, problems, experiences and people are constantly pushing the cycle of my evolution.  Spiritually, physically and emotionally I am not the same person I was yesterday holding that picture, tracing each face with my index finger (that one that I truly don’t know very well).  I know nothing of what it is to know certainty.  There is no certainty.  There is just this moment, this key stroke, this word, and this middle-aged woman opening her thoughts and heart to you.  I search for the moment of enlightenment as Lao Tzu expresses, “He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.”  Until that moment I am learning to move with the flow of life…have a blessed day!