Unhealed People

I spent a large part of my life hiding. Recently, after a healing session with an incredible soul, I recognized the patterns and programming. I shared with an old friend who immediately said, “Oh honey, you’ve been hiding all your life. I’m so sorry!”

Her sorry was genuine and my tears flowed out again. She saw me. Really saw the trail of bullshit left behind by a Narcissistic mother. And I’ve been working on cutting cords for so long. I tend to listen to the voices of the past when I try to lead my children in the now. I don’t want to be like my mother. I second guess every single major decision in spite of what my heart and intuition show me.

In spite of all my deep awareness and knowing I am not exempt from all my human lessons and challenges. I am always on the trail of mending.

Healing is about release. It’s surrendering to the now while letting go of what has kept you captive. This can be physical, emotional or spiritual. I don’t believe in examining and re-examining the past because that story is no longer there. We create new ones but at some point ancestral wounds need to be cut.

Sometimes we don’t really know what’s inside no matter how much we work on ourselves. It takes an outsider to guide your spirit on a new journey and quest.

Here is what I continue to learn daily: unhealed people hurt through their unknowing-ness. They don’t recognize they are hurting anyone, especially a child. As I continue to feel seen the vulnerability is heighten. I am no longer a little chubby scared girl feeling judged by the world. I am no longer a 20 something woman walking on eggshells afraid of what others think of me.

The healing sticks when we become aware of how we allow toxic energy from others. Those folks continue to show up to remind us of our growth. I am blessed they continue to show me how to set healthy boundaries.

I hope you can also see them and send them love. You don’t have to participate in their dramas. I see you. I honor you. I love you.

Life is Epic

I woke this morning sick of my stories, the drama I repeat, and the never ending struggle to find peace among the storms that are not real but living in my little head. It’s sickening. This being, and just allowing, is not for sissies. No one said that the spiritual walk was meant to BE a walk in the park! It takes massive amount of discipline and I don’t follow orders very well…even when it’s from the esoteric world. So…I got up…did my meditation…had to stop right in the middle and said, “F*@k this crap! I can do this. I have manifested incredible experiences in this lifetime. I can let this go and move on without this struggle. This is my own ego creating this shit! I am more than this scene, this stage, and this production!!!”

I got up turning the “cannot” into “will do.”

We have the complete capacity and power to change our thoughts. In those moments I feel the swirl of energy directing me into joy, faith, and love. The heart opens up when I let go of the toxic stories I retell myself. It’s just a shift in perception. I promise.

Aren’t you sick of your same old stories, drama, struggles, and total bullshit (because it is just crap)? Then change the channel…tune into the mass consciousness of love…for you and the world. Get out of your head. Get out of your way…you got this! I know it may all feel heavy at this moment.

Put it down. Stop giving it power. Move away from it for a little while. You may come back to it at another time.

Onward and outward, darlings. Take one breath at a time and move through your knowing. Accept your magnificence and inner guidance. That is your internal GPS. Reroute if you must. But keep going.

Have a blessed day! I love you.

Living Consciously

Living a life full of conscious awareness is not easy. We have to take responsibility for our lives and everything that happens in it. We cannot blame the world for what happens, will happen or never happens. We have choices. These choices are part lessons and part programming. The spiritual process of letting go requires shutting up the ego and living by faith…the knowing and accepting those things that aren’t in the comfort zone. It’s a matter of accepting the ugliness, the failures, the shame, the disgust and also all the wonderful experiences. We are made of duality. We need the dark in order to have the light and vice versa.

A simple definition for insanity is repeating the same thing over and over while expecting a different result. Detect the projections of others and your participation! Accept your responsibility in your story! Reject the same markers of dramatically filled egos! You got this. You do NOT have to continue living through past markers. You have the power to change the programming and move forward into a life that’s free of hurt and loss. We are not meant to struggle in such a way that we become paralyzed to the freedom of self-love and self-acceptance. Our worth is NOT suppose to be sacrificed. On the other side of this backward mind belief is JOY waiting to be embraced. Your authenticity is powerful and you are the only who can get you there…stop looking at the rear view mirror…you don’t live there anymore! Check out the beauty ahead!!!

Expansion of Consciousness

“Consciousness is the highest word you will ever utter.” -Michael A. Singer

Here we are experiencing the expansion of consciousness. Every single day. Lately more intense than other times. Some folks aren’t handling it well. It’s that extreme. The more empathetic you are the harder it feels to stay grounded.

So we feel it in the physical body. We feel it in our emotional stories. We are navigating some amazing times and it’s conjuring up lots of release and old paradigms.

Stop beating yourself up for the past. Stop replaying the stories from yesteryears. Stop trying to make the past fit into your present life, and adjusting it to recreate in the future. Whatever belief you have will manifest quickly so be mindful of what you want. Energy doesn’t lie and it also doesn’t decipher from negative or positive. It attaches to all that is happening now. We are evolving and ascending to higher realms of consciousness.

If you are struggling recognize that you aren’t alone. We are here for each other. Reach out please. Sending love to all.

Where is Home for You

Each time I step away for a bit into nature I mumble to myself, “I am Home.” Then I ask myself on the next breath, “What is that? What is it that defines home?”

At times home is a description, an intricate noun of familiarity setting a place, person, or thing to feel a connection to our soul. I am home with my children around me feeling safe. I am home while holding a friend’s hand in need. I am home through laughter and deep conversations. But my true home, where I find peace, solace and acceptance, is nature. Whether it be on a river kayaking or collecting heart-shaped rocks, or sitting on a giant boulder witnessing a waterfall, I am home again. The outside world becomes an illusion. Struggles don’t exist in the mind.

Nature doesn’t judge or asks anything of what I’m not. It accepts my essence in just being present in the stillness of the now. In these moments problems melt, and like decomposed soil, I shred the inklings of my humanness and become light in spirit. It is meditation at its finest. It is life at its sweetest. Nature allows me to get lost and find myself in the center of the universe. I will always search for glimpses of nature throughout my days.

Home.
It’s the seat of our soul. It’s the essence of awareness. It’s the OM of all universal wisdom. May you find it like we did today. And may you also feel the call of God through those things you witness.

Where is home for you? Please share in comments. I love you.

These are Amazing Times

These are incredibly delicate and exciting times. Do you feel it? I’m not talking about the chaos and the uncertainties. I am talking about the awareness that life will never be what it was. And, that’s okay because what will become is fuller and softer at the same time.

What happens when we open so widely to the world around us? Every single cell expands in gratitude. We become magic. We embody the mysticism of all there is and ever was.

There are major forces happening now. There is a collective shift that feels mystical right underneath all we hear and see. We are evolving into higher dimensions. Time is accelerated. We are witnessing the collapsing of many old programs and the building of a new paradigm.

What does this mean?
It means that we are expanding into our divine truths. We are becoming what we came here to BE. We are being forced to reboot our DNA into higher frequencies. We are becoming a newly evolved superhuman because all of that is happening. It is pulling and pushing a depth in us to come out of comfort and what we believed to be true.

The matrix is dismantling all around us. I know it’s hard, darlings. It’s f*ckery at its finest. But unfortunately we don’t ever seem to learn through ease. We are a race that has been programmed to fight and survive. But, it doesn’t have to be so hard. It won’t be as we move to new dimensions.

We are truly on the edge of something powerful. It started a few years ago and now I am witnessing as it moves quicker. Manifesting faster. Letting go without resistance. Metamorphosing into all that we are required to become… alone and together.

Allow yourself time to just be. Give yourself permission to listen to all parts of yourself without judgment. Stop comparing your journey. Stop trying to guess and manipulate what may happen. Go deep in your essence. When all else is quiet you can feel your truth rise to salute you. It’s not just magical, it’s part of your existence. Release and surrender. You are not surviving. You are living in divine light, experiencing through love, lessons and ultimate humanitarian compassion. And most importantly, please I beg of you, show up always through love. Love is what raises your DNA and frequency. Give it away easily. Keep yourself in that vibration. You cannot be love and fear at the same time.

I love you mucho!

Listen

I speak to you through here, through the vastness of love frequency, and the spaces between the words.

Listen…

Here is the thing… to shut yourself off from the world is pure insanity. It is a great injustice. We are not made to live without love. We are not made to put up walls. We are to continue growing through those losses. I’ve lost no more, and no less, than anyone else. I have lost physically and mentally while in those losses I have doubted my humanity, my self-worth, and my ability to keep going. I have loved time and time again and have been hurt. I’m not exempt from heartache. I have left the warmth and comfort in not wanting relationships to then dive in and get hurt. I have been ruptured and stitched up again. I have seen the beauty in mindful love and the downside of giving all that I am. It’s been worth the ride.

I remember telling someone that a break like that truly feels like a giant crack inside. I believe it is then that the fracture allows for the heart to expand and grow to love deeper. Perhaps I am delusional. I just know that the times that I have ended relationships, or death has taken someone, the pain is so immense that my soul needs time alone to recuperate. I literally feel the ache coming from my chest. I also feel the light healing it. It is in those moments that the tears wash everything out and I realize that faith is the only means of transportation. I have no regrets because the child in me only wants love and to be loved. The woman in me recognizes that I am not invisible. Love is my essence. If loving entails loss… well that’s a mighty hefty price that needs to be paid. Love is part of conscious living. You must give it in order to breathe.

We are not exempt from disappointments, deaths, breakups, tragedies, and anything under the scope of loss. Loss is the vulture that cleans our insides. While its in there anger, resentment, guilt, shame, and a kaleidoscope of emotions rise. Loss eats every aspect of hope and then allows for new cells to rebuild. If we live long enough we will see the immense power of hatred as well as the magnitude of love. This is your life. This is my life. This is life. Do not confine yourself to a prison of safety by not opening your heart to the world. You will miss out in other ways that Spirit can gift you through the magic of love. You are not alone. May you find the courage to love again and again for the rest of your life!

Love, darling. Love with all that you are and continue feeling it all. Don’t stop or shut yourself through fear. Through love you find the Divine in you and the Divinity in others.

I love you.

Love

Love…

Such a simple and complex emotion.

We birth it.

We give it.

We take it.

We buy it and sell it.

We hand it over unconditionally.

We bury it.

We add boundaries around it.

We hurt. We grow. We break.

We silently ache for it.

We attach things to it.

We hold and and release it.

We create a world around it.

We learn from it.

We evolve and transcend in spirit because of it.

It’s a noun, a verb, and everything in between.

We love people, places, animals, things and so much more.

It’s life.

It is the reason we live, inspire, and connect.

It is the compass of the soul.

And it will always guide you if you listen.

Every single one of you holds directions through it.

Every particle of your being energetically vibrates to its purpose.

Where will it take you today?

Sadness

Sadness doesn’t always look like despair.
Grief doesn’t always look like sorrow.
Mourning doesn’t always release tears.
Sometimes it looks like isolation or withdrawal.
It can look like sarcasm and anger.
It may appear like everything is fine.
Other times it shows up like silence with a broken smile.
It can hide itself in a bed with lights out or through addiction.

Be kind. You never know what another soul is experiencing. We have been taught in society to wear masks … way before this pandemic. It has been ingrained in us. Our job is to love and accept others without immediate judgment.

Shifting Awareness

It’s time to shift your awareness and perspective. It’s time to truly be the most amazing version of yourself. The world needs it. It needs you to heal and help others heal. We are being asked right now to do so.

To blame others for my full participation in the drama is moronic. I cannot blame someone for me staying in a toxic relationship. I can blame my inability to move away from the fear and manipulation from that person while giving away my power. But he or she were not holding me captive. My perspective of the obstacle was my enemy.

I cannot blame someone else for screwing me up in business. I participated knowing that person’s character. But I did it anyway.

Most of the obstacles, events, and experiences that we believe are happening to us (while in victim mode) are actually happening through us.

Read that again if you can’t grasp it!

You have created a life that is comfortable even in the discomfort. You know it fully. You might hate it. You might be stuck in the past beating yourself up for mistakes and then taking it out on the world. You continue to blame everyone around you. But I can assure you that when you spiritually connect to your truth you will figure out that no one is to blame for many of the things you endure. Your past determines a lot of your future choices so be mindful of the journey. You get a tremendous opportunity, daily, to shift gears and make something out of your life.

Have courage. Rise above the victim mentality into something that teaches you invaluable experiences.

And yes, there are cases of abuse and violence that you didn’t ask for, or consciously attracted. There are diseases and so much that we don’t get a say on. There is still bad in the world.

We have duality in our lives. We move through the dark into light a million times. We get to choose how, when, and where.

Blaming everyone else for not having the right job, or being in a shitty relationship, or not having enough money is truly inexcusable. Pointing fingers at everyone else instead of moving inward and finding the answers is pure avoidance.

Your stories are your biggest motivators and inspirations. Learn how strong you are. Accept how magnificently you create life around you.

You have the power to change your circumstances one step at a time. When you leave the victim mentality you will begin to take control of your life. Trust in your capacity to manifest. Believe in your innate and divine ability to set healthy boundaries. Most of us were not taught this early on. It’s all about reprogramming your wiring.

Show up. Keep going. Manifest your desires. If you feel you have fallen take a breather and get back up again… and again. You are in control of your thoughts and actions. Start to shift into a higher vibrational frequency. The planet is pushing everyone of us to do so.

You’ve got this! WE got this!