Dancing in the Dark

Last night I went out on my back deck while everyone slept. I watched the dance of the fireflies out on my field. I heard the noises of critters in the woods. I took my incense and lit it asking permission from the land and the four directions.

I asked for divine guidance in the solstice. There was serenity as I felt the world around me entering into another night of sleep.

My heart needed the space. It craved for sacredness of ritual and the simple act of lighting a candle was magical. I needed to ground myself in the cool grass.

And just like that I started to unravel. I came undone within minutes being guided through the darkness by divinity.

A middle aged woman started dancing in her back field feeling the energy move from her feet up to her crown. I lost myself in the movement and vastness of the darkness. I returned to me and each sweet breath through mindfulness. I felt the heartbeat of the earth against my own. There were no distractions. At some point it felt like the fireflies and I were in sync to the drumming of my heart.

It was delicious. It was truly empowering to feel my spirit connect to all there is away from the chit chat of a busy mind.

I gave thanks to God. I gave thanks to spirit. I gave thanks to the great mysteries of life. In spite of turmoil moving so close to my heart, I felt blessings from above and beyond. And… still this morning that assurance lingers on.

A Mama’s Heart

Our 3 y/o started daycare again today after a three month hiatus. He was as happy to see his school as I was in dropping him off to exhaust his energy. I came home with our 6 y/o to tear my house apart and deep clean it. In the midst of moving furniture and vacuuming I lost my emotions.

I don’t know where they came from. My oldest son and his girl will return home to New York tomorrow and the future emptiness engulfed me. I got him for three months. The first time in over ten years that we had that much quality time together.

So I stopped stripping the living room. I stopped picking up God-knows-how-old cereal from under the sofa. I stopped and allowed for my heart to stop racing.

Today is gloomy outside and inside of me. I thought I would be okay. But, I may not be. It will be a hard mama week. I will return to putting my business back out there. I will find some kind of stability. But the last three months have been (sigh) full of chaos and so many gifts.

I lost myself in the days. I lost myself in little ones. I lost myself in the yard. I lost myself in motherhood. I also found myself in all those things. I returned to a life of what I do best: mother all those around me.

I’m ready for the world to also find itself. For the peace to arrive. For the love to engulf us all. I recognize the shift and how it is well overdue. But, shit, it has been brutal! I recognize now that I have been battling deep state of sadness, perhaps a little bit of depression. Had I not had two little ones I am sure I would have lost myself way down the dark night of the soul.

We all need to be seen, felt, acknowledged and loved. We want to feel connections. And for me that has been the hardest part of the isolation…. Not being able to touch another has been a major test.

I have felt my tribe. I see the world now in a different light when I share openly. I have witnessed who is here and who is elsewhere. The division in our humanity has grown existentially.

I’m hoping the muck in collective consciousness is about finished with this cycle. It hasn’t just been the virus but the anger and hatred that has been unleashed in humanity. I pray we proceed with loving louder in order to heal. I’m ready for the next phase.

Sending love to you today. Be gentle as things are proceeding and evolving. Know your worth and your truth. Remember what you believe is yours but don’t try to push it on anyone else. Holding you from here energetically as I proceed with cleaning some weird stains that are unrecognizable from the carpet. Hugs.

Holding Space for Peace

Put your love and compassionate shields up, darlings. Something is shifting. Huge waves of division in timelines happening. The gap is growing. Remember who you are and what you represent. Anger is a wonderful catalyst for change but it can also destroy the foundation of what you may be trying to transform.
You cannot take all that hate and expect it will turn to love without destruction. It will attract more hate. Fear will fuel it and it will spread like wild fire through a forest.

Put your heart in gear. Ground yourself. This may get really bumpy. We have a serious pandemic evolving. All of this is part of the crumbling of illusions. Do whatever you are pulled to do but return to the highest frequency of divine understanding.

Life is truly transforming. Love will win. There is so much that needs to crumble. Things cannot get better by doing the same exact thing.

Love you Mucho. Holding space for the sacredness of peace.

Two Worlds

Hello darlings. Yesterday a dear spiritual friend called me while I was alone in my car going to get soil for my veggie garden. I went into Lowe’s and came out in less than 10 minutes. I am still not ready to emerge with the world. I keep getting inklings of so much that’s happening and until my gut doesn’t feel sick I will remain put. It is not fear but precaution.

As she and I spoke I realized that I am not alone with these feelings. We spoke about the timelines splitting. We can see things happening now. There is a massive and drastic contrast in people and their choices. And I feel it will get larger.

Our lives feel rather wobbly. It all seems surreal. About three years ago I was in meditation and I visited with an older version of me. This “me” was living in the mountains nearby but the world was different. I didn’t interact with this aspect of myself but I sat listening to her share what happened during “the great pandemic that changed humanity.” She said a lot of what’s happening now but also added how the political arena would cause a split in the ascension process and the world would see a giant separation in reality. I didn’t make much of that experience. I remember coming back from that astral visit and shaking my head believing I must be going insane… what pandemic? No such thing is gonna happen here.

I know…by now you have been sensing a lot of your own spiritual experiences. These times are not for sissies. I don’t argue with others who don’t think or believe like me. I won’t even interject what I feel. Everyone is navigating through their own shift. Everyone is sure they know what they know. It’s beautiful because it is true. They are in their knowing.

But, here is what I suggest for myself and others…to stay in your knowing. What doesn’t feel right is your own internal GPS guiding you. You ready to get out in the world? I am so proud of you and happy you feel it’s time. You don’t feel like it is time to merge into the world just yet? Stay put if that makes you feel safe.

We do not have to follow anyone. We have the ability to create and tap into our own realities. Mine might be so different from yours that you shake your head in judgment and think I am out of my mind (and I might just be). Speaking with my friend we realized that we have both received similar messages from our guides and it was good to confirm it. For me. For her.

I love you and I hope and pray you follow your knowing. You do not have to explain how you feel or have to experience guilt for not doing what others expect you to do. The world is changing quickly. There is so much that’s coming: good and hard. How we lived was not how we will return to live. Stay in your truth. Live in your knowing. Practice what you know to be your reality. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else. By all means, if this doesn’t resonate with you please keep scrolling. If it does resonate I would love for you to share your experiences.

Sacredness of Time

Sacredness of Time

That’s what we are experiencing on a new conscious level. We are having to live this moment while letting go of what and can happen tomorrow.

Last week, when I went hiking, I took this photo of the trail coming down the mountain. The rough edges and greenery stopped me. I stood there for some time witnessing the landscape all around me. I was there…. In that moment. I was all into the smells, scenery, consistency of the wet ground and the unsettled terrain. It all embraced me.

That’s how I’m feeling today: ever present with all of me. I miss the rest of my children who are scattered in different places of the country. But, I’ve never been much into this commercialized holiday. I honor motherhood daily. I don’t need to be reminded of it on one Sunday a year.

This past week kinda hit me hard. The hate that arrives from many is toxic and if I am not careful I fall into a deep ditch on the side of the journey. Next week may not be so rough.

When I look at the beauty of this picture and the roughness embracing the softness I think of our lives. We evolve through seasons changing. We sprout through rough terrains. We weather the storms. We exist within the greatest space in history. We are surviving. We are growing and expanding while trekking onward. We are mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, friends and a hundred other ways to label our place here. We are the ALL of everything that’s happening right now.

May you recognize how important you are for shifting the collective at this time. Show up through love. Be the love you want in the world. It’s not easy. Sometimes it takes your breath away just like hiking up a mountain. I am a heart shaped rock tucked away by two lovely ferns in a trail. I am mindful of the sacredness of time by allowing and being. I fail and fall a lot. But when I rise from my down time I return to my center.

I love you. Thank you all for being in my trail and playing your role in the journey ahead. Happy Mama Day to all you beautiful souls. I honor you daily.

It’s Getting Real

Without busyness a lot of our shadow self emerges. Things we’ve not dealt with come up and out. They get magnified. We are confined with others who are also experiencing their own shi(f)t.

I am sure there will be many separations and divorces when we return to our previous lifelines. There will be many who may find themselves picking up a vice (or two) in order to suppress the event. There may be abuse involved and lots of low vibrational challenges ahead.

Take a breather. Return to this memory. Step back from it all. Recognize truth. You will be triggered by your partner, kids, parents, friends, neighbors and the media. You will be rubbed and irritated by the confinement and the lack of routine. You may even fantasize of how different your life will be once you have your previous life back.

That other life will now be completely different. You will question your purpose here. You may be dreaming of how to reinvent yourself professionally. You will also recognize that simplicity is your new reality. You didn’t need all the heavy distractions.

This is your life. There is no returning to that other one because your experiences now are forcing a split in timelines. You will never be the same.

Deal with the dark side of your personality. It’s time to ascend and in order to do so you can no longer put that side of you on hold. You can no longer neglect healing it.

The struggle is real. You will emerge through a complete metamorphosis. It isn’t pretty. It is definitely uncomfortable. But… sigh … I feel you will choose the best outcome for you and your family.

Be safe. Heal the past and work on releasing it. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. That irritation creates a crack that is allowing light to enter.

I love you.

A New World

I slept very little last night. I tossed and turned. I would take a short nap to wake to this new reality.

This is a massive new experience that is shaking up the world. It feels like a wicked sci-fi movie. But this reality is transforming us all. It is elevating awareness and consciousness like never before. It is transforming us to live in the precious moments.

I watched a video from Madrid, Spain. A doctor shared, while sobbing, their reality that because of the lack of ventilators they are letting those older than 65 years die so the ventilators can go to the younger population.

So I cried along with him as the video shared the doctor’s plea for government aid. Another female doctor expressed her anger and frustration. These folks are dying alone. Nurses are the only ones able to hold their hands as they go through the agony of dying.

It’s happening across the globe.

This virus is not just taking out the weakest link. It’s taking us to a place of destitution. We are asking about our purpose here. We are questioning the why’s and how’s. It is unmasking humanity and we are all feeling it. All of it! Part of the collective is mourning. The other half is waiting for something powerful to happen.

One moment I am stricken by the anxiety of the unknown. On another moment I am excited to see a new world emerge from the fire. There are so many facets to all of this. And I refuse to allow fear dictate my days. But there are still those moments I will look at my children and hold tears back. We will never be here again.

This event is showing us how to work together to stay alive by not being together. It’s opening us greatly to compassion and love from afar. And we are finally recognizing that we are connected. What happens over there also happens over here. What happens to you affects those around us. We can’t do this without the collective participation.

Healthcare workers have become heroes beyond any other type of groups before. They are in the front lines witnessing death on a daily basis.

The only way to contain this is to please stay away from others. My heart aches for the elderly population which happens to be one of the most precious group of humanity. They brought us here. They are our historians. They are our ancestors.

Be safe, darlings. Stay in your highest vibration. There is so much that will come out of this. I believe it. But until then please be mindful to keep us all safe. You are making a difference by your actions. And continue to raise each other instead of tearing each other apart.

Let’s Be Love

Oh dear!

Someone went on a rant over a post I made in my other page about being mindful of other folks’ feelings during these times. He went on to share all that this is and isn’t. I respect everyone’s opinion. Stress levels are high and no matter where you are on this incredible event…it comes out extra!

I felt the trigger and took it down. I won’t tolerate hate at this time.

Darlings, we are experiencing a pivotal time in history. We have never been in this particular situation…ever. We’ve had other viruses, catastrophic events, wars, and so many other events in the past. But, this is a new unfamiliar journey…uncharted territory. This isn’t isolating one particular place. It’s the entire world.

So, please be mindful of other’s feelings. We are gonna have mass hysteria, panic, and high levels of anxiety because we don’t really know how this is going to play out. We have no clue. We can speculate. We can bring on all the conspiracies. We don’t know. This is not a storm that can be coned out on a map. We are the map!

Each one of us has a responsibility (and choices) to be diligent with how we show up to this. We get to participate by not participating in the hysteria or in hurting others because they don’t think the same way.

Let’s treat this as a new awakening of 2020. We are truly being pushed to be present at all times with some heavy choices. Let love be on top of your list. Let compassion be second.

WE are in this TOGETHER. Let’s raise our spirits with laughter. But stop beating each other up. We will need to band together as we create a new way of life for a bit.

I love you. Go love you. I will not stop writing uplifting messages of love. I am a love cheerleader and I believe that we just need to be reminded of how freaking yummilicious we are as humanity.

Rise Above

In the last month and a half I have made some difficult decisions as I had to be true to what my soul was expressing. I have spent a lifetime avoiding my desires while feeling guilt and shame for another.

Do I do this? Do I do that? What if I do this, will it affect this person? Oh…it’s just easier to do that which feels right. It’s time to be authentic to what I will or will not do. And it’s magical. It’s important to remember the stories of past events and return to the present with full awareness of the lessons.

Virginia Woolf said, “You cannot find peace by avoiding life.” Life needs to be acknowledged in its complete presence. It needs the wisdom of time, gratitude for each breath, and love for each connection. If you allow it, life will break you and then stitch those parts into a more remarkable being. When you let life guide without the fears of the unknown, through faith and trust, it will give you everything you have wanted and more…while being fully present with joy.

This is the adventure. This is the gift of living.

We are who we are because of the stories from the past. It’s in recognizing what we care to do with joy and what we won’t tolerate any longer that the magic begins to create through fairy dust particles of miracles. Things open up to align with your gifts and wishes.

Every road into memories and events allows us to figure out where we came from and how we got here. It becomes an unconscious clearing in mind, body and spirit.

Allow yourself to feel alive in those solitary moments when the reminder of living is magnified. Give your soul permission to visit and revisit the parts of you that need mending. Then may you return to the present with a full understanding of how awesome you are! Be embraced by Divinity!

Rise, darling! Rise to your soul’s yearning. Become all that you are meant to be but have forgotten for some time. You are the alchemist of your desires.

Life is a Journey

I’m reminded, often, that when things start to run smoothly there may be a fork on the road (or a sink hole in the path) and I must learn a new way to navigate. I must become mindful of how to continue traveling.

It’s life.

It consists of ups and downs. It has mountains and valleys. It has really beautiful terrains and some very challenging ones. It has amazing weather and catastrophic storms. I have learned to trust in what I can’t see…but wholeheartedly feel.

I am led by magic.

And I pray a lot. I meditate daily. I also freaking negotiate with my higher guidance, counsel with God, and hold deep meetings with angels because I am, after all, the CEO of my life. I need all the help I can get. I am not alone on this spiritual walk in this human vehicle.

This doesn’t exempt me from worrying. It doesn’t separate my ego from the equation. I have lessons to learn along the journey. Some are brutal. Some are mystical. Some are intimately sacred. Some are full of more questions than answers.

Today may be okay. Tomorrow may be amazing. The next day may just be the worst of all days. But it all evens out if I am willing to view (and accept) this life as an adventure of extraordinary gifts.

Don’t let a bad season determine your worth. I have to remind myself of this too. Trust in your knowing. Stop the naysayers from influencing your emotions. Detox your life from everything and everyone who doesn’t lift you. You know you, and your life, better than anyone else.

You have so many delicious days ahead. You get to design the life you want by the choices you make. You get to show up on this journey and decide which path you take. Take the one with least resistance. Believe me!

I love you.