Tag: consciousness

Faith

On By Moments with MillieIn EssayLeave a comment

Faith is not found when everything is going smoothly. Faith is witnessed when the world collides with chaos and struggles. That’s when we search for her. Often times we are angry because we feel she’s abandoned our space.

Let me share what faith looks like to me. She’s in the nights when you are crying yourself asleep because a loved one is dying near you, or when your wife has decided to walk out of your relationship, or when your child has ended up in jail. She’s in the aches and brokenness of your fears and the disappointments of your expectations. She’s in the desperation and uncertainties of life.

Faith is sitting quietly waiting on you to grab her and shake every cell inside of you to trust and let go of the situation. She is there to take over if you just let go of the control. She’s the light that gives way into darkness.

When your world comes apart and you cannot find reasons to logically make sense of anything… that is when Faith is seen and felt. That’s when she whispers through your personal beliefs, “I’m here. I have something better. I will work on this. Trust!”

Your job is to allow her to step in. But, without controlling the outcome. Without micromanaging every step of the way.

I have met many religious folks who have zero faith. They go to church every week but when their world gets rattled by hard obstacles their faith is completely absent. They live in fear and lack belief.

And then I’ve met some folks who say they don’t believe in anything. When things happen they have found something stronger than themselves to carry them through it. They say they believe in themselves. That’s also Faith.

So what is faith? It’s not religious. It’s a deep spiritual knowing that you are here to learn and evolve. It’s the opportunity to shift awareness and morph into something powerful.


We have all experienced horrific acts in our lives. We have undergone atrocities. We have overcome major obstacles. Some of you are experiencing these things right now.

What keeps you going? What’s the thing or substance that allows you to get up and keep moving through it all? I bet you have some amazing stories to share. And I also bet that Faith has a lot to do with how you overcame those challenges.

I love you!
More than you can imagine, just cause you are here sharing space with me this way. I have faith in YOU!

Millie

Love is a Choice

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I’ve been traveling to see a dear friend. As always, being on a plane opens me up to the ethers. I am suspended in the heavens and feel such divine connection to Gaia because I can see her from a different perspective.

On the first leg of my trip a woman sat next to me. Her energy felt so fractured. She was out of it and clearly on something. As we were taking off from Asheville she got rattled and squeezed my leg instead of the chair.

She had never flown (and she’s close to my age). It was raining and windy. I removed her hand from my leg and held it in mine. I whispered, “You are safe. I’m here with you.”

Her eyes watered. I continued to hold her hand as if she was my child for several minutes until we were up and the turbulence subsided.

She stared out the window and we didn’t speak. I closed my eyes and felt her life. I saw images. I saw the addiction, the abuse, and so much more.

It’s tricky to be in a capsule at times for me. Usually I listen to music as I fly. It closes the gap of what is and what isn’t for me. I don’t need to be feeling everyone’s life up there.

As we were landing I asked where she was headed to and she said Boston. She was starting new. It was in the silence of those moments that I could hear her even louder.

I kissed her and held her tightly as we got off. I had very little time to connect to my next flight. I gave her my card and asked her to please reach out and let me know how she was doing to which she cried.

She shook. The trip, the endless possibilities and her fear were all wrapped up with the stress of the unknown.

Here is the thing: love is a choice. It is a choice that most people don’t see as privileged true nature of our soul’s evolution.

I wanted to tell her that “the one who broke you cannot heal you.” It wasn’t my place during such a major life transformation to share this.

Love is a choice
Forgiveness is a choice
Letting go is a choice

And through those choices you begin to heal. You begin to regain your worth, your strength and your life.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all been shattered, fractured and put back together. We rise alone… and we rise with one another.

We are never far from shifting our lives, our perspectives, and our hearts.

Life will provide the perfect encounters to help you see your own wounding and traumas. It will help reflect your own stuff.

I am grateful for these moments that put me in a place of loving expansion. She was the perfect person to show me where I’ve been and where I am going.

I love you.

Millie

Grief, That Old Friend

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Grief is inexplicable. It hits at its own timing. And, to be honest, it never goes away. We learn to navigate it. We learn to miss without the intense pain. We learn to live in a different manner.

When I was 23 years old I met a young man my age. We worked in the industrial power transmission field. The first day he came for an interview, right out of college, we shook hands and the electricity that passed through our hands was like nothing else I’ve ever experienced, or have felt since.

Before I could even figure out what was happening we had a tremendous love affair. I was in and out of a relationship with someone much older who was married. This young man and I connected in a way that was out of this world.

At 25 years old, after a long break up because of my other relationship, he asked me to marry him one night. I said yes. That was March 11, 1993. He was dating someone else, and I was still in that relationship. We both broke it off that weekend. On the way back from breaking up with his girlfriend he hit a wall on I95 on March 14th. They found him with a small English/Spanish book in his hands.

This loss shut me down. It took my light with it. It would take years to understand. But, something happened shortly after his death. He began to show up in dreams. I wasn’t as spiritually aware as I am now, but I would feel him all the time.

Whenever I am struggling I find a dime and a penny. $.11 was something we would find together. Those close to me marvel at the fact that this happens often. There will be a dime and then a few inches later, a penny. He has been around for almost 30 years and has guided me in ways I cannot explain.

But grief, that old friend that reminds us of love, can sometimes get the best of us. This morning I opened up my kitchen cabinet to get my coffee mug and in a cup I rarely use was a dime and a penny. I don’t even ask anymore how this happens. Maybe the kids did it long ago. I don’t know. I know I was supposed to find it at 4:44 this morning. That’s how guidance works.

We are always held by deceased loved ones. ALWAYS. I often forget to call out to ancestors. Rarely do I forget to call out for him. He has been my steady companion for decades. And, I know we will one day be reunited.

Your grief is not meant to be suppressed. It isn’t meant to be bulldozed. It’s a reminder that you loved. That you were loved. That you lived. That you had someone who loved you. It doesn’t matter if it’s a parent, a child, a lover, a fur baby, or whatever. Sometimes we mourn places and things.

You are loved. You are here. And, I promise you that you will always come out with grace on the other side.

I love you!
Millie

Erasable – Hard Copy

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I am feeling it all at this very moment. My publisher messaged me that the book was in my mailbox since Friday. I ran across the dark street gripping the envelope. Once I opened it… OMGosh.

No other book I’ve written has had such an impact. Nothing else has felt so intense and healing simultaneously.

When my publisher reminded me that it is next week, the 11th, it became even more real. Holding it seems surreal. Twenty years all inside a computer waiting for the perfect timing.

My five year old climbed in bed with me as I was tearing up. He took the book from my hands. “Mommy, you wrote a book.” I said, “I have written several. But this one is about my life.”

He sounds out the title which is a big word for a kindergartener. He starts to tear up. I see the puddles of tears in his green eyes. He hugs me.

“Can you read it to me like a bedtime story?”

“When you get older. It’s a big-people book!”

He smiles while wiping his tears. “You did good, Mommy.”

I read the acknowledgment part to him about all my kids and he smiles and thanks me. Then we lay together. He wanted to go wake his sister up. I told him that I would share with her in the morning.

Sweet tears. Sweet love. I am blessed. Not by anything but the recollection of a well-lived and loved life. His reaction will forever be tattooed in my heart.

I love you all for the constant support and love your give.

Millie

Hawk Messenger

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I watched the hawk land on the wire of the traffic light as I waited for it to turn green. She looked right at me and I saw what I hadn’t seen: strength, vulnerability and trust.

I remembered almost two years ago waiting at a red light, the cemetery to my right was blooming. My little girl, 6-years old then, called it “the garden of the dead.” And, at that moment the truth of my feelings came out to him. I had had enough of our marriage. I could barely breathe in that space. A hawk landed right in front of me on a tree. My words came out with pressure as my chest tightened. I needed the façade to be over.

This morning the hawk refreshed the memory. So much has happened in almost two years. Our lives have been turned upside down and right side up. Who I was then isn’t who I am today! I have grown and evolved for the first time alone. I have held myself accountable and also deleted the parts I had avoided for so very long. I have healed wounds and closed the gaps of expectations to be what others wanted me to be. The triggers and traumas have a way of revisiting at times, but for the most part, things that I never addressed have come to light.

Healing has taken place. This morning I recalled the journey through sacredness to get here and it was, at times, demoralizing and exhausting.  

The hawk was watching and protecting. I felt her energy as the light changed and I drove in silence. There is magic in motion, constantly!  Spring is magnificent this year in the mountains. I am slowing down enough to notice each bloom and blossom that appears from one day into the next in my yard. I’ve stopped long enough to notice the changes of the seasons and each gift it brings to me.

Each new season has brought lessons and I am paying attention like never before. I am aware of spiritual guidance and how the messengers send the deep awareness. I pay attention to all the divine directions.

Are you? From this moment forward, what is something you will stop taking for granted? How are you shifting your energy to meet those things?

I love you,

Millie

“The hawk reminds you to fly above and beyond your day-to-day thoughts and to observe them from a birds’ eye view. Quieting the mind and detaching from your thought patterns puts you in a better position to take in messages from your angels, or spirit guides. Your spirit guides are standing by, waiting to help and guide you. The spirit of the hawk reminds you to effortlessly soar above the noise and take in guidance from the spirit realm.

  • Want to gain more autonomy for yourself, whether it’s in a relationship, your career, or a creative endeavor.
  • Are facing a challenge and having trouble getting out of it. Thinking about how the hawk views the world: seeing things from a broad perspective and then zeroing in on their goal. The hawk gathers information and then focuses on results.
  • Have a creative idea and want to see is materialize and be successful in real life.
  • Want to sharpen your intuition and have a stronger connection to your spirit guides.” 

 (from https://www.uniguide.com/hawk-meaning-symbolism-spirit-animal-guide/)

Waiting for the Bus

On By Moments with MillieIn Essay2 Comments

It was one of those nights that thoughts kept me up. They cycled throughout my body like a tornado. When I finally slept it felt as if I was unplugged from the rubbish. This morning I am exhausted.

There is nothing I can do in those moments of excessive anxiety. All I can do is try and quiet my mind. I cannot meditate. I can, however, breathe and concentrate on each inhale and exhale. The moment I stop forcing the sleep, it arrives. The instant I let go, I flow.

We’ve all experienced these nights that seem to turn into morning without rest. I tried to pinpoint what I was anxious about.  I am not. I am anticipating something and it is quite different. I am feeling as if something is right around the corner.

I shared a few weeks ago with a client who was experiencing similar issues. She said she was stricken by paralyzing anxiety. I paused for a bit. Then I told her, “You are waiting for a bus to arrive. You are seated in a secluded bus stop. You don’t know the bus number or where you are going, but you know that you are there to get on some bus.” Her eyes opened widely and she agreed.

These times are for trusting what we don’t see coming. We must have faith in the unseen and unknown. There is so much happening around the world. The collective is shifting and a lot of what empaths are feeling is the residue of all that energy.

So, I am waiting patiently without analyzing the next moments. I am seated with so many others waiting for our bus to arrive. I trust it will be to a gorgeous, peaceful, magical place. You are not alone feeling your feels. You aren’t isolated from the rest of us during these moments. It’s a massive ascension of consciousness. It feels foreign and weird… and uncomfortable at times. We are meant to grow and evolve because it is way past due!

Let’s trust together. One of my favorite quotes my Martin Luther King, Jr. is “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” Or the bus coming to get you.

I love you,

Millie

For more blogs and information please visit my other page: sacredjourneyinward.com

Living through Principle

On By Moments with MillieIn Essay4 Comments

The word “integrity” has been the theme for the last few weeks. Integrity is what makes you righteous, whole, and truthful. It’s an important word. How many of us say one thing and do the complete opposite? That’s an example of not living through integrity. 

I have been witnessing the need to clear things up through my truth and moral beliefs. I am purging, not just clutter in the home but past issues, old paradigms, and relationships that are not in alignment with my honor. At times, I am shocked that it’s still taking me so long to understand these life experiences and why I must continue to evolve and not stay stuff in the old patterns. We are growing and shifting and expanding at such a high rate of consciousness.

I am questioning more… other’s intentions around me. Whereas before, my airy fairy attitude allowed everything and anyone to just come into my vortex. I am not as trusting. And that is okay because I am accepting humanity on a higher level of energetic exchanges.

Do not tell me who you are. Show me through your actions. Do not promise me something that you know very well you won’t follow through with. Just be you. Be the WHOLENESS of your essence without pretending, compromising your word, or breaking your authentic nature. That’s all! 

I remember about six years ago witnessing my little girl. She was about 20 months then. One morning she showed me her wholeness and value. I heard her in her room so I opened the door catching her sitting on her bed. She extended an arm way out and said, “Nooooo. No, Mama….no!” I stepped back and realized she needed more time to herself. I walked out and closed the door. Ten to fifteen minutes later she called for me and we began our morning. She was in all her truth and knowing that I would understand. I completely honor this in its simplest form. She didn’t need me to get her up just because she was talking in there. She needed her time. She showed me that when she’s ready she will call me by name. Our perception and interpretations get in the way of how we value others and ourselves. She had not learned the distinction, therefore following her instincts and desires was all that was expected from her.   

No one is expecting perfection. No one wants what you cannot provide. Even a toddler will show you exactly who they are if you are willing to pay attention. Live within the means of what you believe and can accomplish. NO ONE or anything is worth the loss of your integrity. Sometimes it is like your virginity…once it’s gone there’s no getting it back. There is no trust or re-do button that can fix it. And, it starts from childhood. Standing your ground. Stand in your honor and worth.   

Live in the sweetest bubble of virtue. Navigate your life through the utmost level of principles. These are your beliefs. Let YOUR life be an example of who you are through love, laughter and actions! You know exactly what and who you are. If you don’t then you need to sit and contemplate for a while. If you don’t know how to find your wholeness, then how the heck can you expect another to do it for you? It’s time you recognize it in yourself. 

I love you,
Millie

Your Voice

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You have a voice.

You ARE the voice.

Have you found yourself diminishing your voice, or holding back from speaking your truth? Can you remember when and where you gave up your voice?

I went down to Newnan, Georgia, this weekend to this amazing metaphysical store/community called House of Light. It’s located about a half hour, or so, south of Atlanta. My cousin lives there and the community of women is magnificent. They have become my tribe throughout the years! We always get together and create magical moments. Each one of these women have divine gifts. Every single time I gather with them something comes up trying to find its way into the light of healing.  

This weekend it was about my voice. I have felt huge discomfort speaking in front of people. It’s not that I don’t have anything to say (‘cause I always have something to say when I am among like-minded souls). It has to do with my lack of worth in coming across as someone interesting. I also fear that my language skills sound like I am an idiot. After all these decades there are still English words that are hard for me to pronounce and it stops me from truly feeling like I can be eloquent in front of others.  

My ego starts to pull and push this question, “Who wants to hear what you have to say, Millie?”

I began to understand something in the last four days: I am my voice. The power of my words heals while allowing others to also feel heard.  

When I was young, I suffered from horrible laryngitis. It would appear when I had to talk in front of the class, or read something out loud. In my family, children were meant to be seen and not heard. And, ironically, I picked partners in my life, who reinforced the same type of message. “What can you possibly say that’s interesting?”

Now fast forward to the last few years, and anytime someone has asked me to be a guest on a show, or a podcast, or speak in a larger group, I get sick to my stomach. I would rather sit back and just be in the background. If you have been reading my blogs, or messages, for some time you recognize that I love stories. I enjoy sharing them. And, if you were to sit in front of me one-on-one you would also hear me share the beautiful messages of people from all walks of life. And, unlike my writing, I can be a bit of a comedian in my delivery. I will always try to make you laugh.

As I was in my many sessions with clients this weekend, someone said, “Not only did I get a reading, but I also got a comedian.” That cracked me up! I forget that my presentation can be silly at times.

I have lost my voice and my ability to speak up for most of my life. I also believe that many of you have also allowed others to diminish your voice. It’s time we tell our stories, and our truths, out loud even if our voices shake. We all have something amazing to share with others. We are the voices of the past, present and future. We have to step into our light.

Our voices together shift and change the world. Speak up! Let’s be heard. I am ready to use this Puerto Rican one, dressed in my middle age costume. I am ready to truly step into the next chapter of my life. This weekend I released the traumas of all those who I allowed to take my voice away. I gave them that power. Truth be told, I have had my share of narcissists dictating my worth for far too long. It’s time to step into my own vibration.

I am ready! Are you?

I love you. May you recognize those who shut you up, or down, as folks who were afraid that what you had to say would overpower them. There is nothing more powerful than being heard and speaking up for what you believe in.

Always and forever,
Millie

It’s About Love

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(Photo by ATC Comm Photo on Pexels.com)

The source of divine guidance is ever present waiting patiently for us to remember of our power within. Once we open up to it, accepting there is no outer power separate from the self, it all starts to materialize.

We hold our world. We get to mold our lives. We cannot blame anyone else for fully participating in our creation.

Spiritual truth is the acceptance of our decisions. It is knowing and believing that we are creators.

Every single thing we do is part of this life school.

I’m seeing the miracles creates in a place full of clarity and knowing. It is the multiverse energy of truth. It’s the Christ Consciousness. It’s the Buddha mind. It is all that we’ve been taught to be without the dogma. It is all in us. It’s all that we were created to be.

Open up to it. Allow for it. Remember your power comes from within. You are not without anything. You are the greatest alchemist.

You want to know your superpower?

It’s love.

It’s all about compassion, acceptance and love.

We use terminology that seems puzzling, like matrix or ascension when we talk about spiritual awakening. It’s not that difficult. There is part physics but the rest is who we are. The words are designed to trigger a memory, an emotion, that opens us up. It allows consciousness to expand and we vibrate into truth. The words we use also give power to what we create. Every syllable is magnetic. It attracts everything we want and need.

We are designed to grow and evolve into these human bodies. We are having a human experience while returning to our source of divine spirit. We come in through the consciousness of pure love and leave via the same manner to become the heart of the collective. To become the ALL of truth.

Allow for these days to open you up even further into your self knowing and awareness. Happy Love Day!

Mucho love,

Millie