Unexpected Moments

I received a call at work today from a man asking for one of our employees. I gave him her number and he stopped me, “Is this Millie?”

“Yes it is.”

“Oh goodness. Today is my lucky day…” He tells me his name in complete giddiness.

“You might not remember me but you changed my life one really bad morning about a year ago.”

I said, “oh noooo! What the heck did I say to you?”

“I was having a horrible day. I was actually having a really bad time in my life. You somehow noticed it in my voice and you kept me talking. A total stranger. You just let me talk and you said to me (he starts to giggle) you gotta put on your big boy pants, darling. One bad day doesn’t make a bad life. I’m feeling you (and when you said that I started to cry)… you kept me talking until I broke down and all this before 8am.

He continued to share that after our phone call he decided to make a list of what brought him joy. And he changed jobs, moved from where he was living and completely pushed through the bad days.

“Millie, there were days I couldn’t find my big boy pants. But your kindness to a total stranger made me realize that there is hope.”

I was deeply touched. I don’t remember the man but I’m glad the conversation went well. It could have gone really really bad and who knows where he would have ended up?

“I made so many calls that day and week and I couldn’t remember where I had spoken to you. Then I left that job and today wouldn’t you know it you answer the phone.”

I share this story because you just never ever know how you can lift someone. Who will you touch? Who may need your humor and cheerleading? Who may just be waiting for a life jacket to survive? This man apparently needed my craziness and silly advice that one day. As he continued sharing all that has transpired, including me telling him to write and create, he began to feel better about himself.

Darlings, life is too short not to share with strangers. It is also too long to wait for things to magically appear. Put on your big boy/girl pants and get out there and make the change. One step at a time. One person at a time. One conversation at a time. One love at a time. You get to choose this and it’s pure divine connection. I love you.

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The Sacredness of Presence

I was able to watch the sun come up today driving kiddos to school. It was later than usual. And those aha moments began to gather. I breathed deeply at the traffic lights. I inhaled the sun peeking. I exhaled to the awareness of presence. I teared up at the beauty all around me in these mountains and I recited my prayers of gratitude.

Who you are today is a compilation of every past experience. And, you are nothing of what you will be tomorrow. That’s the beautiful mysticism of understanding the evolution of the soul.

You are the universe embodied in a human vehicle. You are a zillion cells and infinite years old. Things change every second. I urge you to pay attention.

I’ve been wealthy. I’ve been poor. I’ve been a follower. I’ve been a teacher. I’ve been an avid student. I been a mother. I’ve been a wife and a lover. I’ve been angry and happy and lost and found. I’ve been broken and pasted back together mending in my private times. None of those labels will define my tomorrow because I am ever changing…but they have defined the soul I’ve become at this moment. Every single challenge and experience has molded me. It’s never the end. We are semicolons pausing and quickly beginning a new phase. Every single day.

Just as the sun rising and the night returning…You get to restart and reinvent yourself over and over. It’s a divine privilege. It’s your human right.

So don’t let the stress of tomorrow overshadow the sacredness of presence now. You will never be this young again. You will continue to grow in spirit and the moment you become aware of your power life will begin to shift.

I love you. Be present. Make it a point to stop, have a conscious breath, and taste your life for what it is. Whether it’s good or bad it is your life. And you can change it whenever your accept that this is not a prison life sentence. It is truly a magical experience of endless proportions.

~m.a.p.

Integrity for Purchase

A coworker was sharing a story about someone. Another coworker said that it was “integrity for purchase.” This meaning that the person had integrity only when it was monetarily convenient to her.

I had one of those Aha Moments. Integrity for purchase isn’t just based on monetary or materialistic issues. Some folks just acquire integrity based on their needs. But, at the end of the day they are still lacking character, authenticity, principle and honor. They lack value and falsify it by acquiring what they need from others in a sneaky way.

These are narcissists, ego maniacs and highly selfish people. They can manipulate others for their needs. And those folks who are kind can often times find themselves in a horrible web of hurt and despair because of their behaviors.

It’s sickening. It’s destructive. It’s inhumane.

Integrity is a huge one for me. I observe folks by their actions and not by what they say. They can write lovely things and behave egotistically. They can look at you straight in the eyes and believe their own lies.

As I continue walking into a deepened spiritual journey I am always questioning my own integrity. I question my own egotism. And I hope I continue to question it because it keeps me in check.

I also tend to beat myself up for wrong-doings…. For cheating on my soul because I wanted something so badly and I knew (instinctively) that it wasn’t for me. This also keeps me grounded in checking my integrity. I am imperfect and do fall for those who promise what they will never give. They are amazing salesmen.

Darlings, please recognize the toxic energy associated with these types of personas. They are sick individuals who thrive on the kindness and compassion of higher frequencies. They believe they can get a great deal for what you easily project. Remember that your integrity is not for sale!

Old Programming of Running Away

Running is my default when things get hard and heavy. I automatically go into that mode and have to talk myself out of it. It’s exhausting! And at mid-century of a timeline I am getting better at breathing through it. I am better at stepping back and not reacting immediately. I have come a long way…but the programming is still there and it takes a while to readjust my thinking.

Running away is easier. It releases me of responsibility of dealing with whatever the obstacle or challenge. Running comes with a romantic fantasy that wherever I end up won’t be where I am.

This is all bullshit but it’s still my default programming. It’s still the first thought that appears when shit hits the fan. It’s my immediate flight response. I don’t fight. I just go around the issue and truly hope I drown it in fairy dust. Usually when I step away it resolves itself, or I happen to let it go so long that the universe aligns with my desires.

So…I stay put. I breathe through the challenges. I step away from the ego chit chat and face the discomfort. I disconnect from that particular moment and define what’s important. I begin to take accountability through gratitude. And I enter my spiritual practice for however long it takes to readjust my compass. I basically put myself in Time Out!

Running might be part of my DNA but I can overcome it. My father ran from every responsibility. In his absence I’ve learned to detect, accept and reject whatever is causing me turmoil.

The worst scenario for a runner is the feeling of stagnation and feeling stuck. It’s a slow death. A shift in perception and a deep spiritual practice have been my saving grace.

What do you overcome?

How do you shift your default programming?

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed?

Cleanse of Mind, Body & Spirit

I’m on day five of a cleanse and detox. My body is feeling the withdrawals big time. Last night the headaches were intense. I am reminded of this beautiful machine I get to inhabit and call home.

The soul can heal and so can the body. We consist of mind, body and spirit. The last few years I’ve not been kind to the body part. I’ve worked extensively on the other two. Now it’s time to align all three. But, boy oh boy, this shit isn’t for sissies!

Ugh the patience I must retrieve just to be with me during this time. I have patience for most things but little bits for me.

I am always witnessing the ego’s chit chat. I could not sit for meditation this morning because I was in discomfort. I recognize how detoxing the body affects all areas of my ability to be present. It’s hard to hear noises. It’s difficult to be a loving cheerleader when the body feels depleted. It’s hard to stay focus on any one thing.

I know in a few days and weeks I will feel like a new person. But enduring this right now is not fun. I love how this brings up crap and I am able to detox the thoughts as well.

So I return to the sacred art of mindfulness today. I am being gentle with me. In doing so I will be going into a gentle flow yoga class and see what comes up.

All the plans I had for today have been changed. And for the next twelve hours or so it’s about nurturing my soul and body in the kindest and most loving manner.

Be kind to all parts of you. Be gentle when you feel rushed. Be loving when you feel anger. Be present when you just want to flee. It’s in these moments that we return to the simplicity of our calling and purpose here. It’s in the discomfort that we find our truth.

Love to all!