Be Brave

I’ve had several weeks of smallness. I’ve needed to make my life tiny in order to make big decisions and concentrate on some changes.

So…I meditate. I get out in nature. I travel far beyond the dimensions. I make sure to have no chaos or distractions from those around me. Because, ultimately, I need to care for me in order to care for others.

I’m super selfish with my me time. I will not comprise for anything unless it’s an emergency. I am blessed to have a husband who allows me this time with so much respect.

I’m no good if I can’t distance myself from the naysayers. I get to a point that I just can’t do anything but be…alone. I truly go on shutdown.

We move and make decisions based on experiences and our personal level of awareness. I cannot ask others to help me when they have not experienced the challenges. And believe me, everyone has an opinion the moment you make things public. Everyone starts to tell you how you need to live based on what they’ve experienced. People are moved through fear in most cases. And then it’s transposed on to our human spirit.

But your higher self leads the way. It is your internal GPS. It knows truth. It begins to guide you to continue trekking.

Every mountain you choose to climb begins with small steps. If you go too fast you start to feel the unhealthy pressure and lack of breath. You allow fear to take over in that momentum. The tinier the steps the more endurance you accumulate. It might take longer but to climb a high mountain you need to truly be mindful of your life substance…your breath. You have to continue the self pep talks. You must believe in yourself beyond anything else.

GO Climb your mountains. Regardless how others react. Go after your goals in spite of the naysayers. Take chances. Pick a path along the journey even when there are a million deviations. Keep climbing. Keep breathing. Keep focusing on what you want. In my life time I have heard a million opinions “you can’t do that!” And I have made it and looked back and realized that I believed in myself more than anyone has believed in me. I’ve done some impossible things that have no logical explanation. And I don’t require logic to create through mysticism. I have faith!

Your life is a blessing made up of so many magical moments. Don’t allow anyone to instill their shit on you. Ever! You begin to create the life you desire the moment you put on those hiking boots and start walking towards your purpose. The higher your purpose the more people will try to pull you down. It’s all a game and you get to decide how you participate.

You can do anything you want. I promise. But start with your inner awareness and full heart belief. Love yourself enough to turn the impossible into possible.

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The Blame Game

To blame others for my full participation in the drama is moronic. I cannot blame someone for me staying in a toxic relationship. I can blame my inability to move away from the fear and manipulation from that person while giving away my power. But he or she were not holding me captive. My perspective of the obstacle was my enemy.

I cannot blame someone else for screwing me up in business. I participated knowing that person’s character. But I did it anyway.

Most of the obstacles, events, and experiences that we believe are happening to us (while in victim mode) are happening through us.

Read that again if you can’t grasp it!

You have created a life that is comfortable even in the discomfort. You know it fully. You might hate it. You continue to blame everyone around you. But I can assure you that when you spiritually connect to your truth you will figure out that no one is to blame for many of the things you endure. Your past determines a lot of your future choices so be mindful of the journey.

Have courage. Rise above the victim mentality into something that teaches you invaluable experiences.

And yes, there are cases of abuse and violence that you didn’t ask for, or consciously attracted. There are diseases and so much that we don’t get a say on. There is still bad in the world.

We have duality in our lives. We move through the dark into light a million times. We get to choose how, when, and where.

Blaming everyone else for not having the right job, or being in a shitty relationship, or not having enough money is truly inexcusable. Pointing fingers at everyone else instead of moving inward and finding the answers is pure avoidance.

You have the power to change your circumstances one step at a time. When you leave the victim mode you will begin to take control of your life. Trust in your capacity to manifest. Believe in your innate and divine ability to set healthy boundaries. Most of us were not taught this early on. It’s all about reprogramming your wiring. You’ve got this!!!! ~m.a.p.

Be Free, Darling

I want you to feel free. I desire that for you. I wish you to know what it feels to be unstuck…no longer bounded by society or anyone else making you feel like a prisoner. It’s all an illusion. No one can make you feel anything. You hold the key to your freedom. You are the prison and the moment you stop giving someone the power….ahhhh…you will fly. I promise. I was there. I know. And now, on the other side, I wonder why it took me so long.

Someone told me this week that they are tired of feeling that they are prisoners of everyone else’s life but their own. She’s given her power away. And at this point she’s determined to continue believing this lie. She will create stories to fill that reality. It’s old programming.

We have the ability to change every single moment. Our thoughts drive our intention. It’s not easy. Hell, it feels impossible. But it’s not. You are possible. You are magnificent. ~m.a.p.

Baby Steps

Our little boy, who is still in Foster care in Florida, took his first steps alone today. Like…completely alone with a huge smile. He got up by himself.

Let me explain why this is a HUGE event.

See, he was confined to a tiny space the first 10 months of his life. He didn’t crawl or get up or sit up. He was immobile… pretty much.

But, with the grace of God and a wonderful angelic foster family, he is thriving. He has been getting physical therapy. He is showing up, being fully present, and doing the work needed to heal.

He took his first baby steps! Recovering. Moving forward. Happily stepping into his own.

He reminds us to be brave. To move forward. To keep going. He is teaching us to take our own baby steps even when we are fearful.

That’s our boy! That’s our baby, at 13 months, compassionately and fully plunging into the unknown.

We anxiously wait for the day we get the okay to go get him. Meantime, he is doing what he’s suppose to do under the care of a loving family.

If he can do it so can we.

Courage to Connect

I visited my elderly client today. He is super shy at 85. Every time I get to the facility I find him alone in his room with the door close. I took him out for a ride which was delightful even with all the rain. We stopped at McDonalds and he had a strawberry shake. He said he hadn’t drank one in decades. He talked about drive-in movies and shakes and other super sweet memories.

In one of our many conversations, as he struggles with memory lapses, I asked him if he was always this shy? He said he was. Then he looked at me and asked if I was always this courageous. I laughed.

“Courageous? At what?”

“At speaking out. At going up to people and talking to strangers? I bet you have always been this way.”

I admitted that as a child I was super shy. In my teens I would talk to everyone but something happened after I had my two sons in my twenties. My light went out. I allowed my partner and those around me to dictate my worth.

I told him it isn’t about courage. It’s about living fully. It’s about connections. It’s about overcoming worth issues and showing up in the presence of another.

Something touched him. His eyes watered and I stopped talking and hugged him.

Then I grabbed him by the arm and took him to another man’s room who is a sweetheart. This man is just beyond yummy. They eat meals together but both are shy and won’t “hang out.” I left them in Walt’s room. Whether he left right after or not is not important. He stayed long enough. And that to him is courageous.

Darlings…Be vulnerable. Be brave. Be whatever label you place on yourself but get out there and join another. We are here for that!

No Judgment Zone

Let’s Get Real…no judgment zone!

Kali and I had quite an adventurous day. She is an incredible hiking buddy. The kid can go on and on. The parkway is

lit with fall colors. Magnificent. True magic up there.

As I drove back home it hit me: soon winter will be here. My chest constricted. Most people don’t know I suffer immensely from SAD (seasonal affective disorder). And believe me I have tried “to snap out of it,” “exercise for it,” “take supplements,” “meditate and calm the mind,” name it, darlings. I’ve done it. Even through a deepened spiritual practice I find myself in the arms of grief and depression.

Yesterday I read a post of a man on my FB friend’s list. We’ve never met. He was vulnerable in sharing his depression. I read the comments and started to cry. I don’t know him. But I do. I know how depression can hit the most happiest of folks. I feel it coming right when the weather cools down. When the leaves are all gone. When the days get short and gloomy. And when the first snow hits the ground I literally have a panic attack.

Okay so if you are judging already then I urge you to stop reading this. Move on to something else!!!

I am no one’s hero, especially for myself. So after having ended up in the hospital several times during past winters I have been proactive. I now put my self righteous attitude to the side and go get meds for three or four months. I shut my ego off. Because…because the emotions are real. The hole is dark, narrow and deep. I refuse to be defined by what others think. I know how mental health can knock you on your ass if you aren’t careful. No one knows what someone is enduring inside.

Healing happens when we face it.

I urge you to stop before you give advise to someone with mental health issues. Please! Depression is not exclusive or inclusive. It’s not racist. It doesn’t care about your religious or political beliefs. It is a chemical imbalance. It is a lot of things and it doesn’t require your judgment.

And please don’t say something like “it is all in your head” cause it really is and you sound like an idiot saying it. It’s all in my little head, alright.

My husband and I have discussed moving from the mountains many times. We come up with several places and as soon as I remember that winter is severe there I take the fantasy out of my mind. I need sun. I need warm weather. I never imagined people suffered from weather changes. There is such a thing as the winter blues.

Darlings, being vulnerable is courageous. So many of you feel alone. You feel depleted and worthless. You are NOT. You are here for a deeper purpose than you can see at this moment. Get help. Talk with someone. Recognize that your mental health doesn’t determine failure. It doesn’t decide anything but that your mind and body need help. If you had a heart condition you wouldn’t hesitate getting help. If you had kidney issues you would run to the doctor. So why is your mental health ever in question?

I’ve lost several folks to suicide. I won’t tip-toe around that subject ever again.

I know myself well enough not to ignore the signs. Today, hiking through those mountains with my kid brought joy. As I stared out to the furthest peak I was reminded to be gentle with myself. The next season will be here soon. I am grateful for a husband who never judges and holds me when I breakdown in tears…when I can’t verbalize the sadness. And he also lets me know I am not alone.

You deserve the assistance needed to move through this. It’s okay. I got you. You got this. I love you.

Pictures are from a gorgeous day on the Blue Ridge Parkway hiking with my little girl.