Go For It

I don’t have an answer to what you are suppose to do tomorrow. I ask that you follow the yearning… your soul’s most fierce desire. It might take one day. It might take forty years. Perhaps there are things you have to learn before getting to that moment.

I don’t know.

You have the answers. We always know. We just have to listen to our own guidance instead of everyone else.

So start with your desire. Follow through with your imagination. Let the universe align to it all. You aren’t meant to be here to struggle like this. We aren’t put here for that.

Make sure you are allowing positive thoughts to dictate your days. This shi(f)t isn’t always easy. But it is YOUR story and what you do with it.

You are magic. Start acting like it. Now get out there and raise your vibration to LOVE. Everything you desire is on the other side of fear. Go get it. Move through love. That’s where it begins… and ends.

I love you.

A Time to Just Be

A friend contacted me today. We hadn’t spoken since February. She’s an amazing writer, artist and creator of so many things. She explained that she hasn’t been able to create anything since the virus took over our lives.

Zilch. Not a painting. Not a poem. Not a post. No photographs. Nada.

I listened while a herd of children were being menaces in the background. I heard her. I felt her disappointment and frustration. She said that to have been gifted all this time and not create feels like she’s failed the Universe in some way. Somehow she’s got shame.

I suggested that perhaps this time was not about being creative for her. But, it was about just being. Not keeping busy. It was about allowing healing to come through. And the healing didn’t want to transpire into creativity.

There was silence on her end. Even my children were quiet and I found myself breathing the space in between here and there. I found myself channeling that energy of just being. Exactly what I was expressing to her.

I feel that so many have felt disappointed because they didn’t create music, wrote a novel, painted oil on canvas or anything else that was expressed as “if I just had a month off I would do this and that….”

The collective has been so chaotic energetically. Trauma has been a huge theme and many have had to purge old programming. Creativity arrives from a place of divine guidance and if we have been bathed and consumed in heaviness there is little that would come through. The creative process needs sparks of positivity. It needs to rise from ease.

There is time for creativity. There is time for prayers and contemplation. I have had very little energy to create so I get it. But I have been able to do other things. We cannot push what’s not here at this time. We cannot feel guilty for ego scolding us for not doing more. We cannot do what we cannot do while merely living through the most radical times of our lives.

Please forgive yourself for your muses not helping you create. Forgive yourself in thinking you have slacked off on some precious chunk of time; For coming out of quarantine with nothing to show except long gray hair and extra body weight. You don’t have to feel bad about anything because you are still here on this world. You are one of the lucky ones.

Let’s honor ourselves for all that we’ve done or not done the last few months. There may be time tomorrow, or whenever. Love yourself enough to just let go of all expectations. Take this time to manifest a new beginning. May you accept what is and let go of what isn’t.

I love you. And, for those who have done magical things during this time my hat goes off to you. Bravo!

Being the Spectator

I took a Kundalini yoga class early this morning. It was the perfect gift for entering a new week.

With each breath cycle, prana, I allowed the life force in me to clear out stagnant energy. Every pose allowed for the vibrancy to rise and fall.

I became the spectator of my stories for that hour… releasing and returning to me with each passing minute.

I am learning the gentleness of me. Of not pushing what doesn’t feel right, even on the yoga mat.

May you find yourself in the driver’s seat witnessing it all without judgment.

I love you. Mucho.

Life Cycles

We move through cycles of what was and what is. And, somewhere in between lies the illusion that these things make us whole and become our stories. Your story might be raw and full of pain, or it might consist of happiness and delightful moments. You have been embraced by love and lovers (past and present), but in the end it is this very second that glues us together. You have lost a loved one to death or just the ending of a relationship and it hurts like hell but you are still here surfing the ebb of deep waters.

This is Sacred Presence.

This is part of expansion.

This is a raw and vulnerable ability to stay here and share while connecting to another by saying, “I am here for you. You are not alone. I understand. I have experienced something similar. Or, I haven’t and it is beautiful how you are moving with grace, strength and faith.”

Yes, these are the moments that make us whole through the veil of life. These are the days that move through us in the subconscious with changes and growth. We don’t know it but there’s a shift inside. This new year is one full of growth and adventure. You have been tested for so long that you have forgotten what it is to just be in sacred presence.

We can’t look back and know when things changed and we gave up but they are there. Today I am making changes to a new opportunity to find joy in the little things. These non-judgmental days of self awareness are huge mile markers.

Today…Tomorrow…Every single morning is an opportunity for me to expand my heart and consciousness.

Are you ready as well?

Keep searching for your truth. It isn’t always pretty or perfect or without some hurt…but it is your truth. These are the things that have created your humanness to continue expanding in our world. The conscious shift in knowing and acceptance is evolving within you always. And how MARVELOUS you are, darling! Go be all that greatness you are meant to be!!!! Together we make some yummy magic. Mucho love.

If you are interested in a session please reach out.

http://www.sacredjourneyinward.com

Sacredjourneyinward@gmail.com

Happy 2020

Growth doesn’t happen quickly. It takes time. Expansion is slow and sometimes extremely messy. Spiritual growth forces you to see the parts of yourself that are dark and unattractive.

But…

Once it starts to unravel you begin to see the new you. Once you consciously SEE it things begin to make sense.

2019 was such a year for me. I am grateful for it all.

By the time October hit I was in shambles. I was depleted. I found myself during lunch times curled up in my car overlooking the mountains by work praying the year would just swallow me whole. I was done with it and the lessons. They were metaphysical lessons. They were emotional ones. They were all about ripping me apart to examine me. And it wasn’t pretty. Ughhh it was not nice to see myself going through the dark night of the soul without a lantern.

The last time I experienced such openness was in the end of 2010 when I moved to these mountains. And now I was coming full circle recognizing the all-ness and oneness of the lessons.

So as November began I felt a sense of relief. By the time December arrived I had truly found myself with much clarity about the things I desired. I saw ME.

2019 has been an incredibly tough teacher. 2020 will be all about finally BEing the person I have dreamed off becoming.

I pick two words for the year. I had picked “release and surrender” for 2019. What did I expect?

So for 2020 I have picked “adventure and joy.”

Make your intentions clear. Write them. Don’t let another day pass you by with dreams. Chase after them. I have spent years dreaming of writing and creating. This is my year to put it all out there with humanitarian causes.

Happy New Everything to you, darlings. You are not alone on this journey even if you feel that you are. Reach out please! I love you.

November Full Moon

I wrote today. A lot. We had a snow day and the kids gathered around me playing, watching TV, while I ferociously got words out into pages of my journal. I don’t know how I could possibly have so much to say. But I did. Each line flowed into the next. Every so often I would put the journal down to feed them and stains of food would find way into pages. Signs of motherhood I guess.

And I wrote some more, on this full moon, creating and manifesting. I’ve asked with full intentions from my desires. I wrote until they took naps. Then I meditated. I lit my candles, burned my sage, and said my prayers.

There is magic getting dreams out in the open. There is mysticism that seems to align quicker when words or pictures are present.

Tonight take some time to manifest. This moon is powerful and directing us to find truth. It’s almost the end of a year. It’s been one of the hardest and most challenging for me in about a decade. It’s taught me more about myself than any other time. I’ve falling in love with so much that I never knew I wanted, and I’ve let go of so many other things that had me hostage.

Today I took a lot of time to cater to those things: the good and bad. It was a beautiful way to spend the day.

Sending love to all.

Thoughts are not Facts

Thoughts are not facts. They are energy magnets.

We give them power. They have no legs unless we provide them to keep walking all over our minds.

Thoughts can be altered by shifting perspective.

Replace one with another. Turn on music. Dance. Meditate. Exercise. Go sit under a gorgeous tree. Whatever it takes to stop the thought from moving. Make the thought immobile.

We give attention to whatever we need to confirm our beliefs, fill our desires and justify our wants. That’s it!

You are not a victim of your thoughts. You are the creator. You are the driving force to them.

How do you stop the insanity? Change your story. Rewrite your endings. Get out of fear mode. Recognize your innate power of creating everything around you with thoughts

I have this picture of a sweet country house I bought about 15 years ago. Everywhere I’ve moved I have placed it in the kitchen or a bathroom. When we moved to our new house I put it in our bedroom next to my side of the bed. Last night I looked at it. I noticed the miracle of manifesting. The house looks like this new house. I didn’t notice when I hung it. I do remember that every time I would notice the painting in 15 years I would smile and think, “One day I’m gonna have a sweet country house like that!” I had the same painting much larger and left it in Florida. I bought a smaller one then.

Shift your awareness. Be mindful of how you show up with your thoughts. They are the magic wand to all that you want. They have no power over you even when we’ve been made to believe they do.

You’ve got this.

Happy New Everything


Happy New Year. Happy new everything. It’s time to recharge and do things differently if you want different results. We are poets, artists, story tellers, parents, children, teachers and creators. We start exactly where we are in this life. Today is a new day. Tomorrow is another. In the process of creating we allow spirit to touch us, preciously speaking through music, painting, gardening, and interacting with others. We begin today. We continue tomorrow and so on. Whatever has seemed mundane or trivial will show itself to be the voice of divinity. Allow for it and follow through wherever it takes you. Don’t be afraid. Move with the rhythm of the melody, the colors of the muse, or the touch of a stranger. I am so giddy with all that is waiting ahead. Each step here has been an orchestrated note to a magical dance. Let’s let go and allow for it all to embrace us in a giant party. Let love guide you. Please join me there…in the midst of magic and wonder.

What is left behind

footprints in the sand

 

I used to think that it was important to leave something behind in life as a legacy for others to acknowledge my existence.  For most of my life I kept journals, poetry books, albums and all sorts of pasted memory books documenting my journey here. Several years ago I stopped.  I was losing myself in trying to leave a life behind while not being presently available in the now.  I was tired of leaving a token of my existence for others to find as a scavenger hunt providing entertainment for days to come.  I decided I was going to touch more, love harder, and be present with those in my life.  What better legacy than that of time?

We are always trying to leave footprints behind for others to find.  Sometime ago during a visit with one of my sons we were sitting around discussing legacies.  He asked me what I would like to leave behind as a remembrance of my life.  I said, “My laughter.  I want people to think of me and think that I was fun.  I want to believe that I touched someone through my sense of humor.”  His eyes watered with that simple answer. He was expecting me to say something of greatness or about love.  But, I believe that joy is the catalyst to other emotions.  Joy and laughter open up love, empathy, compassion, and kindness.

What carries on after death? The lessons, mistakes, triumphs, and achievements are not so much of importance in the past as they will be in the future.  We take for granted what must be learned rather than learn what we take for granted because of worrying about the future.  It is the present that emphasis must be placed upon in order to correct anything else in our path.  Legacies are moments.  Moments consist of time.

Death is a state of consciousness.  It is one of the many stages through the infinite. I witnessed this first hand not long ago when I had the near death experience.  At that moment of leaving the physical body I was not a bit concerned with my legacy.  I didn’t think about the things I should have done.  I didn’t ponder or cry about the things I didn’t get to do.  My only thought was, “Where will this light take me?  There’s nothing like this. There never was.”

We are here passing through: for learning, accumulating, and exercising the greatness of our existence.  There is no real secret to life.  That’s perhaps the secret.  We all want to know that we’ve mattered. We have.  I have.  You have.  We are here in this melting pot together making our way home.   Every day I am gifted favorable circumstances.  I get opportunities of love (giving and receiving), forgiveness (for mistakes and misunderstandings), learning (beyond my means), dreaming (manifesting all my desires), kindness, and compassion (without them I am not human) so that my spiritual, physical and emotional bodies can evolve into greatness.  This greatness is called life. Make each moment count with joy, surrendering abandonment for the past, miracles for the future, and appreciation for being present at all times.  Laugh at the silliness, forgive the hurt, love those who you never thought you could.  Allow these opportunities to map out the journey.  You got this!  No one else can do it for you.  Sparkle, shine, fly with your authentic wings and create the greatest story of YOU!  That’s your legacy.

“Inside of all of us there is the need and the desire to be heard, to have our innermost thoughts, feelings and desires expressed for others to hear, to see and to understand. We all want to matter to someone, to leave a mark. Writers just take those thoughts, feelings and desires and express them in such a way that the reader not only reads them but feels them as well.” ~ Vicktor Alexander

For the love of art

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Last night I had a breakthrough. I did something I’ve been fearful of doing for years. I painted. I went to a painting class with a friend and I created something out of nothing…of course while following instructions. Most folks do not know that I used to paint a million years ago. I was actually quite good. I was going to attend the Art Institute in Paris in my late teens. And….then tragedy happened. I allowed life to dictate my worth. Funny how we give others that power. I stopped painting all together for years. I gave my power away along with every paint, canvas and art supply!

In 2001 I had a head injury and I lost my mind. I lost memories. I lost fear. I had amnesia and didn’t recognize my 6 children. I was 33 years old and I returned to being 19. I left the hospital searching for my paints and canvasses. That accident opened up my creativity for a short while. Then, again, I allowed with great effort and lack of responsibility others to dictate my worth. I stopped painting. I went to several therapists trying to get back the juices. I would stand in front of a white canvas and shake….violently crying in a massive overwhelming phobia as if it was a giant spider coming at me. I cannot verbally express the anxiety that the thought of painting kept bringing me. I stopped because the thought of painting literally made me sick.

Last night, with a birthday friend in tow, we went to a restaurant to paint. It was one of those Wine and Art sessions. I didn’t shake. I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t judge myself. It was kid’s play. It was a fun elementary-school painting that I did not take as serious. There were several moments, while painting grass, that my old strokes appeared. I began to feel like Van Gogh again…for a few minutes. Then the internal critique began, “Oh my, the jar is lopsided. Oh, my God, this is crap….” But something mystical happened….

As the adorable young teacher was taking a break a young intoxicated man stopped to talk to her and tried desperately to get her attention. He was slurring his words, being silly, and she tried in a kindhearted and gentle way to move the conversation along so he would leave. I sat there watching this and laughing. EGO had just entered the space. There it was intoxicated, making a huge fool of itself. I saw it clearly. EGO was trying to seduce her just as much as it had been falsely seducing me with my art. I got it. I didn’t see a man. I saw years of self-sabotage waiting to be acknowledged. I stared at it and laughed out loud. My friend and I just giggled like two school girls at the scene developing in front of us.

I returned to my painting. Ego had been critiquing me. It had been denying me from moving forward. So what if it was a silly painting of fireflies coming out of a jar. It didn’t have to be perfect. At that moment I heard my eldest son’s echo, “Mom, it doesn’t matter what you paint…just do it. Create something and little by little you will get your mojo back.”

I have had many who have tried to encourage me to move past this issue. My partner, friends, children and even the little itsy bitsy voice in my heart…but to no avail. Last night watching the young man stand there making a fool of himself while saying something about the paintings I got it. Ego had no business being in my creative time. I love my lopsided Van Goshish painting of stars and fireflies swirling in the night sky. I loved my hands covered with paint. I loved how I felt breathing the mountain fall air as we waited for the next instruction. And what I love most is that I conquered one of the biggest fears I have had for decades. I allowed others to dictate how I should feel about my art. It paralyzed me. It killed part of who I am.

How many of you have allowed another to dictate your worth? How many of you have been paralyzed into deadly anxiety from living out your dreams? How many times can this go on without you shutting the drunken ego off? Sit that bastard at a table and give it some water. Let Ego cool off and move on. YOU get to decide what and who you allow to dictate your creativity, your worth, your love and all that you are meant to do in this world. You got this! I can’t wait for the next class. I might just be inspired to channel Monet!