November Full Moon

I wrote today. A lot. We had a snow day and the kids gathered around me playing, watching TV, while I ferociously got words out into pages of my journal. I don’t know how I could possibly have so much to say. But I did. Each line flowed into the next. Every so often I would put the journal down to feed them and stains of food would find way into pages. Signs of motherhood I guess.

And I wrote some more, on this full moon, creating and manifesting. I’ve asked with full intentions from my desires. I wrote until they took naps. Then I meditated. I lit my candles, burned my sage, and said my prayers.

There is magic getting dreams out in the open. There is mysticism that seems to align quicker when words or pictures are present.

Tonight take some time to manifest. This moon is powerful and directing us to find truth. It’s almost the end of a year. It’s been one of the hardest and most challenging for me in about a decade. It’s taught me more about myself than any other time. I’ve falling in love with so much that I never knew I wanted, and I’ve let go of so many other things that had me hostage.

Today I took a lot of time to cater to those things: the good and bad. It was a beautiful way to spend the day.

Sending love to all.

Thoughts are not Facts

Thoughts are not facts. They are energy magnets.

We give them power. They have no legs unless we provide them to keep walking all over our minds.

Thoughts can be altered by shifting perspective.

Replace one with another. Turn on music. Dance. Meditate. Exercise. Go sit under a gorgeous tree. Whatever it takes to stop the thought from moving. Make the thought immobile.

We give attention to whatever we need to confirm our beliefs, fill our desires and justify our wants. That’s it!

You are not a victim of your thoughts. You are the creator. You are the driving force to them.

How do you stop the insanity? Change your story. Rewrite your endings. Get out of fear mode. Recognize your innate power of creating everything around you with thoughts

I have this picture of a sweet country house I bought about 15 years ago. Everywhere I’ve moved I have placed it in the kitchen or a bathroom. When we moved to our new house I put it in our bedroom next to my side of the bed. Last night I looked at it. I noticed the miracle of manifesting. The house looks like this new house. I didn’t notice when I hung it. I do remember that every time I would notice the painting in 15 years I would smile and think, “One day I’m gonna have a sweet country house like that!” I had the same painting much larger and left it in Florida. I bought a smaller one then.

Shift your awareness. Be mindful of how you show up with your thoughts. They are the magic wand to all that you want. They have no power over you even when we’ve been made to believe they do.

You’ve got this.

Happy New Everything


Happy New Year. Happy new everything. It’s time to recharge and do things differently if you want different results. We are poets, artists, story tellers, parents, children, teachers and creators. We start exactly where we are in this life. Today is a new day. Tomorrow is another. In the process of creating we allow spirit to touch us, preciously speaking through music, painting, gardening, and interacting with others. We begin today. We continue tomorrow and so on. Whatever has seemed mundane or trivial will show itself to be the voice of divinity. Allow for it and follow through wherever it takes you. Don’t be afraid. Move with the rhythm of the melody, the colors of the muse, or the touch of a stranger. I am so giddy with all that is waiting ahead. Each step here has been an orchestrated note to a magical dance. Let’s let go and allow for it all to embrace us in a giant party. Let love guide you. Please join me there…in the midst of magic and wonder.

What is left behind

footprints in the sand

 

I used to think that it was important to leave something behind in life as a legacy for others to acknowledge my existence.  For most of my life I kept journals, poetry books, albums and all sorts of pasted memory books documenting my journey here. Several years ago I stopped.  I was losing myself in trying to leave a life behind while not being presently available in the now.  I was tired of leaving a token of my existence for others to find as a scavenger hunt providing entertainment for days to come.  I decided I was going to touch more, love harder, and be present with those in my life.  What better legacy than that of time?

We are always trying to leave footprints behind for others to find.  Sometime ago during a visit with one of my sons we were sitting around discussing legacies.  He asked me what I would like to leave behind as a remembrance of my life.  I said, “My laughter.  I want people to think of me and think that I was fun.  I want to believe that I touched someone through my sense of humor.”  His eyes watered with that simple answer. He was expecting me to say something of greatness or about love.  But, I believe that joy is the catalyst to other emotions.  Joy and laughter open up love, empathy, compassion, and kindness.

What carries on after death? The lessons, mistakes, triumphs, and achievements are not so much of importance in the past as they will be in the future.  We take for granted what must be learned rather than learn what we take for granted because of worrying about the future.  It is the present that emphasis must be placed upon in order to correct anything else in our path.  Legacies are moments.  Moments consist of time.

Death is a state of consciousness.  It is one of the many stages through the infinite. I witnessed this first hand not long ago when I had the near death experience.  At that moment of leaving the physical body I was not a bit concerned with my legacy.  I didn’t think about the things I should have done.  I didn’t ponder or cry about the things I didn’t get to do.  My only thought was, “Where will this light take me?  There’s nothing like this. There never was.”

We are here passing through: for learning, accumulating, and exercising the greatness of our existence.  There is no real secret to life.  That’s perhaps the secret.  We all want to know that we’ve mattered. We have.  I have.  You have.  We are here in this melting pot together making our way home.   Every day I am gifted favorable circumstances.  I get opportunities of love (giving and receiving), forgiveness (for mistakes and misunderstandings), learning (beyond my means), dreaming (manifesting all my desires), kindness, and compassion (without them I am not human) so that my spiritual, physical and emotional bodies can evolve into greatness.  This greatness is called life. Make each moment count with joy, surrendering abandonment for the past, miracles for the future, and appreciation for being present at all times.  Laugh at the silliness, forgive the hurt, love those who you never thought you could.  Allow these opportunities to map out the journey.  You got this!  No one else can do it for you.  Sparkle, shine, fly with your authentic wings and create the greatest story of YOU!  That’s your legacy.

“Inside of all of us there is the need and the desire to be heard, to have our innermost thoughts, feelings and desires expressed for others to hear, to see and to understand. We all want to matter to someone, to leave a mark. Writers just take those thoughts, feelings and desires and express them in such a way that the reader not only reads them but feels them as well.” ~ Vicktor Alexander

For the love of art

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Last night I had a breakthrough. I did something I’ve been fearful of doing for years. I painted. I went to a painting class with a friend and I created something out of nothing…of course while following instructions. Most folks do not know that I used to paint a million years ago. I was actually quite good. I was going to attend the Art Institute in Paris in my late teens. And….then tragedy happened. I allowed life to dictate my worth. Funny how we give others that power. I stopped painting all together for years. I gave my power away along with every paint, canvas and art supply!

In 2001 I had a head injury and I lost my mind. I lost memories. I lost fear. I had amnesia and didn’t recognize my 6 children. I was 33 years old and I returned to being 19. I left the hospital searching for my paints and canvasses. That accident opened up my creativity for a short while. Then, again, I allowed with great effort and lack of responsibility others to dictate my worth. I stopped painting. I went to several therapists trying to get back the juices. I would stand in front of a white canvas and shake….violently crying in a massive overwhelming phobia as if it was a giant spider coming at me. I cannot verbally express the anxiety that the thought of painting kept bringing me. I stopped because the thought of painting literally made me sick.

Last night, with a birthday friend in tow, we went to a restaurant to paint. It was one of those Wine and Art sessions. I didn’t shake. I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t judge myself. It was kid’s play. It was a fun elementary-school painting that I did not take as serious. There were several moments, while painting grass, that my old strokes appeared. I began to feel like Van Gogh again…for a few minutes. Then the internal critique began, “Oh my, the jar is lopsided. Oh, my God, this is crap….” But something mystical happened….

As the adorable young teacher was taking a break a young intoxicated man stopped to talk to her and tried desperately to get her attention. He was slurring his words, being silly, and she tried in a kindhearted and gentle way to move the conversation along so he would leave. I sat there watching this and laughing. EGO had just entered the space. There it was intoxicated, making a huge fool of itself. I saw it clearly. EGO was trying to seduce her just as much as it had been falsely seducing me with my art. I got it. I didn’t see a man. I saw years of self-sabotage waiting to be acknowledged. I stared at it and laughed out loud. My friend and I just giggled like two school girls at the scene developing in front of us.

I returned to my painting. Ego had been critiquing me. It had been denying me from moving forward. So what if it was a silly painting of fireflies coming out of a jar. It didn’t have to be perfect. At that moment I heard my eldest son’s echo, “Mom, it doesn’t matter what you paint…just do it. Create something and little by little you will get your mojo back.”

I have had many who have tried to encourage me to move past this issue. My partner, friends, children and even the little itsy bitsy voice in my heart…but to no avail. Last night watching the young man stand there making a fool of himself while saying something about the paintings I got it. Ego had no business being in my creative time. I love my lopsided Van Goshish painting of stars and fireflies swirling in the night sky. I loved my hands covered with paint. I loved how I felt breathing the mountain fall air as we waited for the next instruction. And what I love most is that I conquered one of the biggest fears I have had for decades. I allowed others to dictate how I should feel about my art. It paralyzed me. It killed part of who I am.

How many of you have allowed another to dictate your worth? How many of you have been paralyzed into deadly anxiety from living out your dreams? How many times can this go on without you shutting the drunken ego off? Sit that bastard at a table and give it some water. Let Ego cool off and move on. YOU get to decide what and who you allow to dictate your creativity, your worth, your love and all that you are meant to do in this world. You got this! I can’t wait for the next class. I might just be inspired to channel Monet!

To the Yesers and Dreamers

creations

I believe in fairy tales and happy endings. I believe in magic and the power to create all my dreams with enough zest and focus to light the path ahead. So when the world tells me that I “can’t believe in what doesn’t exist” I laugh. I giggle, disconnect from what is being said, and truly feel sorry for the person saying this to me. I can believe in whatever I want. That’s my right! There’s enough nay-sayers in the world. We need more yesers. We need the dreamers and misfits to stand up and show another side of creation. We need the writers, artists, creators, musicians, and sculptors to stand up and say, “See…there IS enchantment and magic and it comes from divine source.” We don’t need anymore negativity. There’s an over-abundance of that. We need the yesses, the of-course-we-cans, the I-done-it-before-and-will-do-it-agains, the nothing-stops-me-dreamers, the watch-me-take-notice-and-learn-not-to-give-up-on-fairytales folks….. We need a bunch of those to override the darkness that has been instilled in our world and paint it bright. Because…because…I do believe that we have the power to change everything in our lives.

This takes work and most people don’t want to stay on path of dreams. It doesn’t happen over night and it requires positive energy. You need faith and trust and a willingness to go into the unknown. But, you can do anything that you want. Your mind is connected to Source and everything you desire. I strongly believe that we can shift consciousness and awareness to show the world the magic wand that God gave us: LOVE….The love in thy self; the love towards a stranger; the love for life; the love for dreams; the love to heal; and the love to manifest your deepest desires. Use it wisely and with the biggest open-heart available. This is the secret of creation. Use it to mold and shape the life you want. You got this. Stop believing what others tell you that you can’t accomplish. Show them through allowing, creating and receiving! You really have nothing to prove to another but yourself. Don’t stop your dreams to make another happy in their disbelief. Misery loves company but you don’t have to entertain it.  You can choose to live in your own happy-ending-story!