Rise Above

In the last month and a half I have made some difficult decisions as I had to be true to what my soul was expressing. I have spent a lifetime avoiding my desires while feeling guilt and shame for another.

Do I do this? Do I do that? What if I do this, will it affect this person? Oh…it’s just easier to do that which feels right. It’s time to be authentic to what I will or will not do. And it’s magical. It’s important to remember the stories of past events and return to the present with full awareness of the lessons.

Virginia Woolf said, “You cannot find peace by avoiding life.” Life needs to be acknowledged in its complete presence. It needs the wisdom of time, gratitude for each breath, and love for each connection. If you allow it, life will break you and then stitch those parts into a more remarkable being. When you let life guide without the fears of the unknown, through faith and trust, it will give you everything you have wanted and more…while being fully present with joy.

This is the adventure. This is the gift of living.

We are who we are because of the stories from the past. It’s in recognizing what we care to do with joy and what we won’t tolerate any longer that the magic begins to create through fairy dust particles of miracles. Things open up to align with your gifts and wishes.

Every road into memories and events allows us to figure out where we came from and how we got here. It becomes an unconscious clearing in mind, body and spirit.

Allow yourself to feel alive in those solitary moments when the reminder of living is magnified. Give your soul permission to visit and revisit the parts of you that need mending. Then may you return to the present with a full understanding of how awesome you are! Be embraced by Divinity!

Rise, darling! Rise to your soul’s yearning. Become all that you are meant to be but have forgotten for some time. You are the alchemist of your desires.

Precious Acceptance

Yesterday after we dropped Kali off at school Luke (2-1/2 y/o) says loudly from his car seat, “Mommy, your daddy says hi!”

“Your daddy?” I asked.

“Nooooo! My daddy at work. YOUUUURRR daddy. He’s sitting here.”

I answered with strain as tears flooded my eyes, “Okay. Tell him hi for me too.”

I looked through the rear view mirror as he looked at the seat next to him and he said, “She say hi.”

My dad transitioned over 26 years ago. When I had my near death experience several years ago he was the only one who showed up to send me right back here. My father wasn’t much in my life. But I knew he loved me dearly. Luke’s message was endearing. Luke has never seen a picture of my father but I’m certain he knew exactly who he was.

I went to take a Kundalini yoga class right after I dropped him off at school. I’ve never had that kind of yoga before. I realized how deeply I hold my breath. I felt I was holding my breath the entire way to the studio. And I released, shedding old tears onto the mat, curled into child’s pose and grateful for no judgment there. Something opened up like a flood. It was beautiful to just allow it.

Memories visited. When I was Luke’s age I was visited by loved ones who had passed on and I never met. I met them in my room daily. My mother didn’t know what to do with me. She took me to doctors. To therapist. To spiritualists. I learned to block it out. I learned early on that this was not a gift. It was obviously something bad. At around 6 I finally stopped seeing or feeling. I would close my eyes tightly and wished they went away.

I don’t want that…ever…for my children. His message was profound in its simplicity. I had been thinking about my dad during the weekend. It was a sweet confirmation that those who pass are always nearby.

I hold sacred space for loved ones who have transitioned. I don’t always see them but I feel them, or hear them. They come in as flashes. Or knowings. I’m not a medium. I have just learned to pay attention to guidance. And most loved ones have such quirks and sweet ways of letting us know they are near us.

How about you? Do you see dead people? How have you dealt with it in this society? Please share below.

Trust in the Process

Fear paralyzes us. It holds us captive and imprisons everything we know to be true. I read somewhere that without fear there is no courage. But when you are stricken by panic and despair it’s really difficult to see bravery.

The woman I am today has no clue how I lived in fear for so long. I just don’t know why I didn’t move forward and abandoned all the things that kept me hostage.

I didn’t know better. I didn’t know how. I felt the aches and pains of loneliness and responsibilities. Shame and guilt lived simultaneously drowning me. I couldn’t breathe. And one day softly within I heard the words, “Fear not! Fear is Forgiving Everything, Acknowledging Release.”

I turned my comfortable life upside down and then right side up. My family believed I lost my mind. And guess what? I did. I had to let go of the old me in order to transform into a new one.

I am who I am because of each story inside of me. Each single event led me here. I have courage, tenacity, perseverance, and a forgiving heart. Just like that I have learned to release. And, just like that I will continue to move forward.

Freedom is on the other side of thoughts. You cannot live in fear and truly trust. Fear is doubting the process. It has no trust. I have learned to shift my perception and thoughts. All the time. Every day. Some days it requires all of me to be present with deep breaths and trust the path.

Something magical happens in this midlife point of a woman’s life. Like you can’t stand the bullsh*t anymore. You won’t tolerate the excess noise of other people’s opinions or judgment. At least this is been true for me. And I guess that’s also part of feeling courageous.

May you always find the spark of courage that turns your darkness into sunlight. You are never alone in your struggles even when your Ego tells you otherwise. I believe the Divine speaks to us through sweet whispers if we are willing to listen with an open heart. Forgive and release all! It’s never worth the weight of carrying around on your shoulders something that serves of no purpose but to belittle you even more. Every single experience has brought you here to evolve.

Trust and let go. You are divine wisdom walking around and bumping into love. All day…every single day.

Gratitude and Blessings

On this week of gratitude may we come together in Spirit. I am always searching for the stories within the stories…in strangers and friends; in family and folks we meet daily. I Search for The Divine in simplicity. I feel it in a touch, a hug, a kiss…and an intimate glance across the room. I hear it in long belly laughs. I smell it in the sweetness of the earth. I taste it on so many levels when a loved one cooks for me.

I have faith in humanity. Don’t you? Don’t you see it on a daily basis in the miracles of life? Don’t you feel it in the shift of the collective as it evolves into love?

The day will come when you won’t be looking for faith and grace outside of you. It’s happening now. You aren’t looking for God in temples and religion. You notice the Divine staring back from the reflection in the mirror. You see it smiling at you in a homeless person or a loved one taking his last breath. You find Source in your children as they laugh out loud. You feel Spirit in the kiss from your mate. You finally recognize our connections and how important it is to be kind and compassionate to everyone. Even when they don’t accept it but on a higher level they are taking it in.

You find the silence and the ability to walk away from pain or walk towards the things you desire. This is how aware you are that you have reached the loving understanding of your purpose through unconditional love. This is how you’ve found you in the vastness of Spirit.

I give thanks for you. The blessing of you walking alongside me on this journey. Thank you.

I see you. I feel you. I know the God in you. And in me. I love you.

(The photo was taken this morning as I was writing this post).

November Full Moon

I wrote today. A lot. We had a snow day and the kids gathered around me playing, watching TV, while I ferociously got words out into pages of my journal. I don’t know how I could possibly have so much to say. But I did. Each line flowed into the next. Every so often I would put the journal down to feed them and stains of food would find way into pages. Signs of motherhood I guess.

And I wrote some more, on this full moon, creating and manifesting. I’ve asked with full intentions from my desires. I wrote until they took naps. Then I meditated. I lit my candles, burned my sage, and said my prayers.

There is magic getting dreams out in the open. There is mysticism that seems to align quicker when words or pictures are present.

Tonight take some time to manifest. This moon is powerful and directing us to find truth. It’s almost the end of a year. It’s been one of the hardest and most challenging for me in about a decade. It’s taught me more about myself than any other time. I’ve falling in love with so much that I never knew I wanted, and I’ve let go of so many other things that had me hostage.

Today I took a lot of time to cater to those things: the good and bad. It was a beautiful way to spend the day.

Sending love to all.

Meeting with Spirit Guides

I was having a conversation with my spirit guides Saturday while driving. I asked to be shown a sign that things were aligning. There are a few things in the works and when I’m alone in the car I love to just hold meetings. Suddenly this car came out of nowhere and got in front of me at a light. My spiritual number that I see everywhere is 1111 and of course my initials. Lol. I was grateful and continued holding spiritual conference in the car. As I drove more signs showed up.

Do you see numbers? Do you speak to your spirit guides often?

Intimacy

We are missing this. We are missing FROM this. We move through our days without physical connections while connecting to strangers in the screen. We are exhausted from our days, escaping into another world that might just get us. No matter how you slice it it is a form of intimacy. It is fulfillment for millions who fear rejection, avoidance and judgment.

But…when was the last time you spoke heart to heart with someone? Or allowed tears to fall in their presence? Or merely sat in silence holding their hands because words were too heavy to carry? How long has it been that you openly shared a heartfelt story, a wrenching shameful memory and just trusted because your soul needed it more than your ego?

The injustice we have created while living in fear of bigotry and shame separates us. Don’t you think?

There are so many different ways of connecting to others. Each act of kindness is a window into their intimate world. You never know how you will touch another emotionally and spiritually until you allow your own rawness to show.

So I will continue to pour my love to whoever I can. I don’t care if it’s accepted or rejected. Somewhere in between their walls and discomfort is a door that allows me to be in their Sacred intimate space of light.

Inside You are the Answers

There is a place inside of you that isn’t part of this world. It is the entire universe. You reside in it dormant waiting to remember your power and enchantment. You believe you are separate from all but you are the ALL.

That place is of great mysteries.

I reach it in meditation. I visit in sleep. I am reminded through dejavú and other synchronized events. And in the moment of awareness I am magic. I can see how fast I manifest and create what I desire. I trust that every fiber of my being is aligned to my dreams.

I forget at times. I get sucked into this human dimension that is influenced by stimulation 24/7. Then I find myself spinning until I stop and return to my equilibrium. To my truth. To my worth. To my knowing.

And it’s different for each one of us. It’s our own unique fingerprint.

So….Stop giving your power away to others. Stop believing that you are separate from Divinity. There is magic in your veins, in your cells, in every single particle of your existence.

Love yourself enough to return to its source because when you believe in yourself, the way you believe in others, you are unstoppable. And that’s when you begin to understand your purpose. That’s when you find yourself on top of your own universe.

No Explanations Needed

Several years ago I owned a motel/retreat center. I met so many amazing folks. There was this gentleman (in every sense of the word) who would call me up every few months to book the same room. He would ride up on his beautiful motorcycle for the weekend and just stay on the property. He would sit alone around the lake and smoke his cigars. Then he would leave and give me an idea of when he would be back.

He was in the banking world by profession. He wore a suit and was distinguished. When he would ride up the mountains he wore his leather jacket. He had tattoos all down his arms and legs but you would never know it with his business attire.

He came to unwind and find peace from the big city. He would take these trips alone since his wife didn’t like the mountains.

We would often sit and chat around the campfire on Saturday nights. What I learned was never to underestimate the content of a book by its cover. You cannot judge someone by the way they dress. He was still the same person all tattooed that he was in a bank. He shared with me that the older he got (he was in his late 40’s) the more he became who he was meant to be. What he did during the week, in the corporate world, was not who he was. It was how he made a living to support his family and to pay for his expensive motorcycles. He said that people reacted to him quite differently when his “costume” would come off and the real him would be exposed.

He never cared what others thought because if he had to give explanations for who he was then they weren’t worth his time. He truly lived by this golden rule. He had been educated by Ivy League schools but he wasn’t willing to conform to the norm.

Throughout humanity we judge others based on immediate perception. And we can only meet another at their level of awareness. So never waste your time having to explain who you are. EVER. As long as you are clear of your authentic truth you owe no one an explanation for who you are and what you do.

A New Day

It’s a new day. It’s a new opportunity.

I have spent several hours in meditation throughout the night. I’ve gone deep into the wilderness and other realms. I have found that there is static all over the place. Something is happening. It’s massive in both the dark and light…the duality.

There is a collective sadness. There is much anger. There is exhaustion. And add that times millions and we have an epidemic. But we also have massive release on a spiritual and cellular level.

I don’t know how to help. I keep asking guidance. I don’t know what I can write that will help start the release and healing for those who need it. I don’t know how to hold you if I’m here and you are there. But…

I believe in mindfulness. In sacredness. In the profound effects of love and forgiveness. I believe in Divine guidance and universal forces. I also believe that we can raise the energy to joy and compassion. We can shift.

Find others who are vibrating at a higher frequency. Spend time healing while doing things that bring you gratitude. Work on you and attract the things you want. We always have choices to remain or move into a new emotion. We truly have the most amazing gift and ability to evolve at all times…and grow into newness.

I cannot tell you how to begin healing. Or letting go. Or surrendering the hurt and anger. I can, however, hold space with you from here.

I feel that is one way we begin collectively healing ourselves and others.

I might sound like a childish broken record but just love. Love with what and who and where you are. Love heals. You cannot love and hate simultaneously. You cannot stand in darkness and call it love. Compassion and kindness are flames of pure light. Let’s start there.

I am holding you…from here. In this realm and others. Prayers are waves of yummy frequencies. They reach the heavens and all the places beyond.

Join me…with each conscious breath stating the love to the world and we will make ripples in the fabric of the universe. It starts with the energy of gratitude and joy and mostly…love.

I love you from here and there and everywhere.

(Image taken yesterday morning over the Blue Ridge Mtns)