A coworker was sharing a story about someone. Another coworker said that it was “integrity for purchase.” This meaning that the person had integrity only when it was monetarily convenient to her.
I had one of those Aha Moments. Integrity for purchase isn’t just based on monetary or materialistic issues. Some folks just acquire integrity based on their needs. But, at the end of the day they are still lacking character, authenticity, principle and honor. They lack value and falsify it by acquiring what they need from others in a sneaky way.
These are narcissists, ego maniacs and highly selfish people. They can manipulate others for their needs. And those folks who are kind can often times find themselves in a horrible web of hurt and despair because of their behaviors.
It’s sickening. It’s destructive. It’s inhumane.
Integrity is a huge one for me. I observe folks by their actions and not by what they say. They can write lovely things and behave egotistically. They can look at you straight in the eyes and believe their own lies.
As I continue walking into a deepened spiritual journey I am always questioning my own integrity. I question my own egotism. And I hope I continue to question it because it keeps me in check.
I also tend to beat myself up for wrong-doings…. For cheating on my soul because I wanted something so badly and I knew (instinctively) that it wasn’t for me. This also keeps me grounded in checking my integrity. I am imperfect and do fall for those who promise what they will never give. They are amazing salesmen.
Darlings, please recognize the toxic energy associated with these types of personas. They are sick individuals who thrive on the kindness and compassion of higher frequencies. They believe they can get a great deal for what you easily project. Remember that your integrity is not for sale!
Running is my default when things get hard and heavy. I automatically go into that mode and have to talk myself out of it. It’s exhausting! And at mid-century of a timeline I am getting better at breathing through it. I am better at stepping back and not reacting immediately. I have come a long way…but the programming is still there and it takes a while to readjust my thinking.
Running away is easier. It releases me of responsibility of dealing with whatever the obstacle or challenge. Running comes with a romantic fantasy that wherever I end up won’t be where I am.
This is all bullshit but it’s still my default programming. It’s still the first thought that appears when shit hits the fan. It’s my immediate flight response. I don’t fight. I just go around the issue and truly hope I drown it in fairy dust. Usually when I step away it resolves itself, or I happen to let it go so long that the universe aligns with my desires.
So…I stay put. I breathe through the challenges. I step away from the ego chit chat and face the discomfort. I disconnect from that particular moment and define what’s important. I begin to take accountability through gratitude. And I enter my spiritual practice for however long it takes to readjust my compass. I basically put myself in Time Out!
Running might be part of my DNA but I can overcome it. My father ran from every responsibility. In his absence I’ve learned to detect, accept and reject whatever is causing me turmoil.
The worst scenario for a runner is the feeling of stagnation and feeling stuck. It’s a slow death. A shift in perception and a deep spiritual practice have been my saving grace.
What do you overcome?
How do you shift your default programming?
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed?
For several years, this page has evolved from a Mystical Journey into a Sacred Journey. It was a forum to share my blog and stories from all walks of life. In the last year the page has become more of an inspirational page to help raise the vibrations of social media and negativity. Along my own personal journey I have evolved as well. I have received clarity in what I am suppose to be sharing and writing. Recently, I opened up a business under “Sacred Journey” where I can do intuitive counseling and help others in their journey.
But I am also a Story Tender.
What’s a Story Tender you might be wondering?
It’s sharing sacred space with someone as they share their stories. Those who are stuck and need a little nudge, I can help light the way. I take their stories, old programming and beliefs, and help them reorganize their thoughts. I help facilitate the doubts, hurt, and other traumas while turning them into empowering opportunities. Basically, I am a love cheerleader helping others navigate through the muck into their own inner beauty and strength. Just like the lotus flower, we all have the willingness and determination to be the best version of ourselves while birthing in the darkest of moments.
Sometimes we just need a little help. We need to connect with another and recognize that we are not alone on this journey. That’s the sacred journey for me…to be available to meet others wherever they are at.
Currently I have a web designer working on my professional website to offer services, retreats, workshops and one-on-one sessions. I’m excited for what’s coming up and the endless possibilities of meeting amazing souls.
Thank you for sticking with me as I, too, emerge into my authentic self… filled through love and grace. The collective is shifting and we need all the help we can get at this time. We are one. Mucho love!!!
Millie A. Parmer
This is huge! Do you know why? Because it is so true for many of us. I was with someone for 18 years who would say I was the most difficult person to love. In my ignorance, I actually believed him.
Imagine that! I believed I should not love so deeply. I believed I was too much. I believed… that’s all. I believed because I didn’t love me.
You are so worthy of love. You come from love and evolve to loving the world. Do not take on someone’s narcissism or insecurities and make them your truth. Hell no!
You are magical. You are loving. You are alive with the very essence of divinity. Now go love harder. Love louder. Love fully and don’t allow anyone ever again to make you feel that loving others is a bad thing.
Several years ago I wore a rubber band around my wrist. Every time I had a complaint I would snap it (or negative self talk). Needless to say that on that first day my wrist was swollen and I had to use the other one the next day. By the end of three days I became mindful of my thoughts. By the end of the week I turned complaints into opportunities to learn and evolve. It’s about time I redo this again. I have been stuck on that long ass line for too long.
We forget to feel gratitude for the teachers who trigger us. For the events that break us and force us to grow spiritually. For the incredible obstacles that mold us. We forget because we have been programmed since very young to see things from a victim mode. We are talk to sit (or stand) and moan and groan in order to be heard.
So today, as snow is about to hit us, I will be mindful of staying in a positive light. Snapping back to gratitude. I want the short line!
Since my sabbatical in November from social media something has been missing. Then came the holidays, a house full of people, and the return of another year. I still felt something was off. There is a sense of imbalance that keeps arriving when I wake to sit in meditation. A nameless sensation of emptiness that lingers. A knowing without destination. It’s bizarre and exhilarating simultaneously.
This morning I found it again waiting for me to respond to its calling. The stories have been piling up without true formulation. I just hold on to them with greed and selfishness…those of folks I’ve met that I want to savor on my own. But, they aren’t mine alone.
I gather words and stories from all walks of life. I tend to them while helping heal my own needs. And then I release them.
I want to hear your stories. I want your messages and snippets of your lives to be heard. I want to connect others to their purpose of what they desire. I crave to help pay forward love in whatever way I can….
How do we do this? How can we help one another?
We do it through groups and support. We do it sitting down and talking face to face. We do it by speaking and/or writing. We heal through connections. We begin to feel seen and heard. We feel acknowledged. We become engulfed by love and acceptance. That’s how we move through it all.
So thank you! For being here. Your words are always courageous. Your sharing is delightful. When you open yourself up you begin to heal me and you and others. Don’t ever stay silent about the things that move you, shake you, or teach you.
I love you.