Reminder of Living Fully

owning our feelings

What an amazing reminder….

For a great part of my life I blamed my circumstances (which were pivotal lessons in my growth) on another. I felt “stuck” and blamed the other person. I felt as if I was surviving and not living because of them. Freedom finally arrived when I saw them as teachers and took responsibility for the choices I made, the decisions I participated in, and the life I was living. Sure…it is a lot easier to blame someone else for our life not being how we envision it.  Sure…it is comforting to sit back and point to another for “ruining” our journey.  Sure…it is easier to be a martyr and victim than to fully take on those things and move forward with grace.  Grace is hard.  Moving on through the storm is painful at times.  But, when you own those feelings the illusion of blame and control go out the window. That’s an awareness that arrives with a sense of independence and no one or anything can replace it…ever again! This is where healing begins.

I am constantly being shown that the life I chose to lead was a blessing.  It has brought me here, to this point of my life and I must embrace it.  Every thought and action has pointed to this very moment.  I am the oldest I’ve ever been.  And, with each passing day I realize that freedom arrives in the form of forgiveness and letting go.  You are not responsible for anyone but yourself.  And, no one is responsible for you or your mishaps.  Things happen in the order that they do because they have been carefully orchestrated to move you to the highest possible awareness of the self.

I remember saying this to someone at some point a few years ago.  “Everything that has happened to me has been to enrich the evolution of my spirit.”  The woman immediately looked at me and said, “Really?  Even your rape was for the evolution of your spirit?”  (This was asked in a very patronizing tone). I recalled smiling and answered, “Especially the rape and every form of abuse thereafter because I am this person today due to the circumstances of my past.  I am not a victim.  I am a survivor.  The stories we share are molded to feelings: reactions, pity, joy, learning, teaching, and so on.  We share them because those stories are who we are.  We continue to share them because they must be removed from the depth of us in order to move on.”  I don’t think she agreed with me.  She continued to blame another for the “horrible things” that happened to her.  And, those were her stories.  We all have them.  They make our psyche, feeding Ego, and drowning Spirit.

So, as a reminder of what we are and who we can be…this very moment is a lesson.  Tomorrow will arrive with a different one once we release the old patterns of thoughts and feelings.  Blame serves no one.  Forgiveness is not for anyone else but yourself.  Stop carrying around the past on your back.  That backpack can’t hold anymore crap…!  Have a great Saturday.

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