On Being an Empath

strong-fragile-heart

I had a doctor appointment today…a follow up from the hospital. The doctor was explaining a murmur in my heart that I’ve had since I was a child. He insisted in drawing a picture of the valve not closing all the time…blah blah blah. He went into a lot of technical medical terminology that went right over my head. I had that look of numbness so he stopped being a doctor.

He was very kind with his words. He said that I have the lungs of a teenager and the heart of a strong woman. He looked at me with the sweetest blue eyes and said, “You have a strong-fragile heart so we have to be cautious of what we put in your body.”

I chewed on those words the rest of the morning: “Strong-fragile heart.” Yes..that! I have that…that which I think can’t break but is always at the edge of fracturing even with being strong. That…yes…that was clearly the best description of how I feel most of the time…all my feelings, and emotions gathered at the edge of strength and then struggling in vulnerability because I was taught to, “Suck it up, Buttercup!”

There…right there in the opening and closing of valves and whatever else mechanism I have in there. Just wanted to share that because most of us here who are empaths have strong-fragile hearts.

You are constantly right on that edge…pulling back and pushing forward. You are barely standing and breathing but you manage to keep it up. You are always feeling as if one minute is too much to open and close into another.

But you do it. You do it cause you are freaking awesome and strong and filled with faith and compassion. I have never had a doctor explain things in such simple manners that left me thanking the universe for the beauty of connecting with someone.

Thank you for being in my life, sweet strong-fragile souls. I love you. Touch that ticker and feel the life in it. Let it do its strong-fragile thingy to the best of its ability. You got this!

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The Us

unmade bed

I lay listening to your breathing,

heavily struggling through muffles

of snore while I put a pillow on my head.

I begin to listen to my own breath,

deepened to the lungs,

rhythmically mimicking heart beats,

each one attached with love for you,

thump after drum whispering your name.

I am forever altered,

modified,

expanded because of you

and the things we avoid at times.

I am growth, lessons, challenges

of things to come

because of your perception

of me and all that isn’t.

I am so much more than I was yesterday.

And, in silence,

we dance energetically,

next to one another,

reading, watching television,

playing on the computer,

but we are there in communion of love.

Whenever I feel the need to pull away,

there’s a tug,

an umbilical cord from your soul

pulling me back,

as if saying, “I’ve got this and you are okay!”

So…I stay

fighting uncertainty

but trusting in you,

in me,

and most importantly…in us.

Make Fear an Inspiration

inspiration

Time has a way of defining moments

and in the voice of fear

hear the words for

change and imagination.

In the sight of fear

make the world

a playground for your desires.

In the presence of fear

make it an inspiration

to create a new opportunity

that will mark a path

to a new life.

Don’t be paralyze by the unknown

but allow it to take your hand,

be your pull,

and fly with wings that angels

have provided

so you can soar above

every obstacle ahead.

Fear is false belief

of what you cannot control,

but with God on your side

there is no evidence of madness.

Discovering your strength

comes only in the obstacles of fear…

make it your inspiration

not your isolation.

The All of Oneness

oneness

If there is no battle then

there is nothing to rupture

the current or process of movement.

That’s who God is…

the evolution of passage

and we fight it

with our egos,

ostentation,

and arrogance.

He is the depth of essence in everything:

He is nothing because it can’t be seen,

yet He is everything

in the center of the universe.

Because He wants nothing

He achieves all,

where there is no ego,

no greed,

and no impossibilities of trying.

He is the shallow hollowness

and the great depth within.

He is divinity,

omnipotence,

magnificence of wonder,

and the light that shines from the heart

when love walks into life

holding hope and faith effortlessly.

He is emptiness and fullness

without a needed explanation,

and He is all we strive to become —

He is all we are when

we finally surrender.

He is the everything

in the here and there…

the I AM of our humanness

and the ALL of Oneness.