Divine’s Entrance

Love enters through doors

we did not recognized

leaving opened.

It breezes through old cracks,

within thin walls,

small ventilation,

masking as air

until one single breath

takes the heart by surprise.

Within each inhale of skin

and every exhale of life

sits this mystical gentle guest

whispering to the open soul,

“I am here.  Take me. Join me

without judgment, hesitations,

and be One with me.”

Love Is All

Moments are the connections to life’s journey. They are the process of all there is in some magical dance between synchronicity and love. Each second connects into another. Our own connection pulls and tugs to intertwine with each other. By being aware of each moment we can join, partake, and openly participate in this creation of life. That’s all there is: the taking of good and bad and surrendering to it all. We co-create the stories. We allow it to come and go, passing through the process of time and space. Afterwards, when the stories are too much, the drama is too stale, and the tragic of not being at peace is maddening, we blame the universal forces for our participation in this co-creation. We detach and close off from the universal element of love.

That’s all love is. It lets go of boundaries, walls, and inhibitions. At times, the dance involves fear and panic for allowing another co-creator to take our desires even though we gave them the power to do so. The truth is that true love is effortless. Not, that it doesn’t require work, but it’s just a rhythmic dance of ease and grace. It devours intimacy by accepting and not holding back any of our insecurities. Love doesn’t push. It opens and breathes peace and trust. It is raw and compassionate and all that is of God. Love is accepting of another without judgment of your own self. It brings you into a place of complete surrender. It allows light into the darkest of places.

We complicate love with our agendas and traumatic experiences of lack. We aren’t good enough. We are not worth enough. We are this and we are that. Those beliefs are implemented into our own hearts. But truth be known, love doesn’t care. Every other emotion lives in our head. Love is the only one that lives in our heart…in Spirit. We come into the world with this one and only sentiment. The rest of them are acquired through life’s lessons. But love is about relating to another, not losing yourself into that other person. It’s a union of mind, body and spirit in a way that contributes to all that the universe has created. Love is about being Divine. With or without another to partake in the journey, the moments of true peace are those when the heart is open and the light of God shines through.

May you always find this staring at the reflection in the mirror, or in the eyes of a child, the unconditional appreciation of an animal, and the relationships gathered through this lifetime.

Sloppy Spirituality

spirituality

For whatever reason we place everything before our faith and spiritual practice: career, children, spouses, house work, drama, and all the busyness that comes with our humanness. Spirituality seems to come as a last alternative, full of shameful guilt for not doing more, we touch it with half of our soul’s yearning.  Meditation and prayer come in moments of desperation. It becomes an assignment of negotiation with God.  The truth is we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

Spirituality is not perfect. It isn’t stuck in a box of rituals for each person to follow. Spirituality is sloppy and chaotic at times. Our spirits desire the awakening experience. The Divine is in us waiting to be touched and held. My mornings require ritual: lighting candles, incense, saying my prayers to enter the world, and sitting in silence with a cup of coffee or tea. I need these moments of deep awareness as I open my curtains and allow the outside to join my space. I need to show my spirit gratitude for another breath. This is not a perfect ritual of contemplation but it is mine to uncover and welcome Divinity into my day. It is mine to join with the joy and acceptance of every single day.

Spiritualism accepts the imperfections, the messy lives, the brokenness, the unsaid truths, and everything under the spectrum that we think is not acceptable in organized religion. Why do we hide behind the façade of impeccable accomplishments? It seems that faith is based on what we can see and control rather than the acceptance of the unknown. We practice spiritual perception with fear of what we don’t know and can happen. What would happen if we allow synchronicity to dictate our days?  If we moved with serendipity rather than against it?  If we no longer feared the future? What would happen to us then if we allowed something greater than ourselves to move through us as the Commander in Chief of our lives?

At the end of your life you will not regret the lack of another degree, not having bought the little red sports car, not getting that expensive house, not having enough money in the bank. You will regret not having spent more time in nature, holding a friend’s hand in need, missing your child’s recital, not taking walks with your beloved, not speaking your truth, and so many other things that might seem irrelevant at this moment. You might feel ashamed for the time not spent with Divinity, kisses from your children, hugs from your parents, and sweet words from a lover. You will wonder why you didn’t sit and relaxed more, breathed the earth deeper, and allowed each moment to count just as it is meant to touch you. The things most important in life have nothing to do with money, winning, status or work. They have to do with love, sharing and other moments invaluable to your spirit. The first and only person you need to answer to is yourself.  The second is your faith. Give each moment the degree of importance it needs to be cherished and enjoyed. Be present in your conversations, visits, and life.  Don’t waste time worrying about the things that stress you, or the to-do list. Don’t be overwhelmed with anxiety for what could not happen and participate in the moment you have available right now. This is part of sloppy spirituality:  the deep awareness of each breath, touch, and leaving everything behind. It is about reprogramming your senses, needs, and releasing the control of what we have been conditioned to be religious beliefs.

I rather live a messy spiritual life than one of conformed social expectations while living inside of a make believe fantasy that never witnesses the miracle of God. I rather behold the eyes of someone speaking with me and truly seeing their soul unfold. That’s the most beautiful form of spiritual wisdom. I can’t think of anything more whole to experience the oneness of our existence.

Angel Whispers

angel whisper

Every second stories are created by us, for us, with us, and around us. This is life as we inhabit a small piece of real estate in the expanse universe. We are small in comparison to all that is out there. We live among other humans and borrow space from other realms, often times bleeding in and out of their communications. This morning was a perfect example.

I got up, nothing different from any other day. As I was putting on my make-up my husband entered the bathroom asking if he was to take our two-year old to the sitter or was I going to do it? I told him I would. He stared for a second, as I was applying my mascara. I stopped, turned to look at him and said, “Happy anniversary!” To which he asked, “How many do we have?”

I returned the answer, “As many as possible.” Today is actually three years from the day we met. He knows I celebrate anything I can qualify as an stepping stone and a mark in our lives: the first kiss, the first real date, etc. But, today is actually the day we met.

“Are you okay?” He asked with a concern look, his blue eyes holding on to something deeper than what he was seeing.

I stopped. The question halted me into acknowledging what I was feeling in my gut. Something was off and I was thinking before he entered to say goodbye that perhaps I should let work know I wasn’t coming in. For over an hour I had this inkling that didn’t feel right. I have felt this before but today I was willing to ignore it. “I am fine. Have a good day. See you later.”

“You sure?” He persisted with his own intuitive nature.

“Yep!” He kissed us girls and left.

I took just a tad longer to get on the road. I was getting ready to get on the expressway when the car in front of me stopped on a screeching halt, me almost hitting it and the car behind me missing me by a hair. We were all going about 45 MPH. A semi flipped in front of that first car (two cars in front of me) causing a giant accident, blocking the highway. And at that very moment I thought, “Okay, I will listen. I will go home after this is cleared up. I now understand. Thank you!”

Our guides will provide a small nudge when they want us to be safe. If we don’t listen, they will provide a whisper. We can continue choosing to ignore it. Eventually their nudging turns into a scream. It did today. I was too busy having a life to pay attention to that gut feeling that warns me. I know better than this. I can decipher that feeling. The thought came into my mind, “Do not go to work today. Work from home.” I ignored it. And…yet…I was two seconds late for what could have been me under that semi because I chose to drop our little girl off at the sitters. No one was hurt. To me it was a warning flash, and a real crash to stop whatever thought I had about being away from home today. I don’t need to know why I needed to be home. I trust in the highest form of guidance without having to question this.

Stories…. Stories create our psyche, our perceptions, and our lives. I am molded by yours, hers, his, theirs, and mine. The irony of all this is that as I was taking that turn to get on the highway I had one thought, “How much has my life changed in just three years. I don’t know what will happen in three more….” Stop! That incident stopped the chatter. It stopped the thoughts from everything. I don’t need to know anything.  I just need to trust.  I need to continue walking on faith.  I need to allow my intuition to lead. Gratitude took over. My body received the sweet goosebumps and chills that come from my guides when I am being touched.

I share this not because of what could have happened or didn’t happen. That’s all irrelevant. I share because we need to remember that in this world there are things that cannot be explained. Listen to that small voice within you that whispers truth. Pay attention to signs and synchronicity. Acknowledge the changes in your body and how you react to sudden temperatures. Are the lights or electronics going nutty?  (The radio this morning turned off twice in my car.  No reason whatsoever…and yet I dismissed that too). When you hear that high pitch sound in your ear, that’s something above and beyond this consciousness. You are never ever alone. Even the most in-tune person can discard the messages because we are human trying to survive life. Please! Let those whispers from the Divine and guidance lead the way. You got this. Listen closely! You are always loved and cared for…and you are never alone.  Sparkle on….love and light always!

Transcending Purity

tranquilityI sat outside watching the snow fall yesterday for a while.  Its silence, serenity and movement mesmerized me.  It has been one of those fluffy thick snowfalls that leave an imagery of fairy tales in the forest.  For so long I hated the snow.  I was traumatized by the destruction it left on my first year in the mountains: pipes froze, no money, didn’t know a single soul in this place, no water, and the desire to run back home while feeling defeated was overwhelming.  Now, four winters later I watch this marvelous tranquility in awe of how it transforms the land and how it has deeply touched the core of me.

Snow erases all borders and discriminating lines.  It isn’t just the whiteness but the abundance of calmness and purity:  dips, valleys, mountains, edges, and everything it touches vanishes into a blank screen.  I am reminded of my near death experience almost a month ago: the whiteness, equanimity, safety, embrace of divinity engulfing my soul.  Yet, I returned to this world.  I smile as I become fully aware of this last statement!

Just like the land with the snow, the essence requires some intergrading.  I am still me.  I still have all my quirks, silliness, sarcasm, and personality traits.  But, something has changed in my spirit.  The purpose of my survival has been diminished.  Everything is white.  There are no edges, radical falls, or fearful drops in the fabric of my being.  I can sit for a long time and marvel at things.  The anxiety of rush and uncertainty has been erased and somewhere in all that whiteness I am trying to distinguish a purpose for my return.  The evolution of me has drastically changed and finding myself in the middle of all this whiteness reminds me of something I can’t grasp.  I understand there is no need to know but this “reprogramming” is sometimes dictated by the ego that makes me human.

The all-knowing of “things” that drove me bonkers has been placed in a proper place.  Space and time don’t seem to exist only when I am due for an appointment or want to watch a television show.  I am somehow being suspended in mysticism and being around too many people tarnishes that peace.  Incorporating the experience with the whiteness of it all seems to leave a sense of displacement at times.  Why did I have to return?  As much as I love my life, family, friends and mate, something back there in that “other realm” is pure light and omnipotence.  I now have dreams of this place.  I relate to things in a way I can’t find words to describe.  I am here.  The body, mind and spirit are here fully conscious of the gift in this lifetime.  But…there is definitely a huge “but”…how do I move forward without losing myself in the soft snow of it all?

As I write this I sit on my sofa, blinds opened, watching the covering of pureness throughout the property.  It is absolutely beautiful.  The sky is white, the pond has a gray tint to it and colors have disappeared from this mountain.  We are all the same.  There is no distinction between what the mind labels and what is present.  This is the divine state of being.  This is as close to near death you can get without leaving the world.  The sound of silence is spectacularly dramatic.  I stare outwards knowing I have touched this somewhere and have returned for whatever reason.  I am okay.  I keep reminded myself when I am among others that I am fine.  The touch of a friend, the embrace from my lover, the lick on my fingers from my cat, the kisses from my daughter all bring me back to this moment.  Things have slowed down significantly and I can’t handle the rattling of anyone trying to force the moment to move quickly.

I have entered another phase of my life.  I don’t quite know where it will take me.  It really doesn’t matter.  This displacement is part of the lesson.  We are all snowflakes individually falling to oneness.  There is no need to ask permission for the existence, or give reasons for the fall.  We are here to live.  I have been provided with priceless gifts.  I am grateful for them all.  And you, there, reading this has joined me on this journey as well.  Thank you!  I see the light in you and our connection to each other.  Have a magical day.

You are not Alone

 

alone

There is nothing wrong with admitting
that at times

this is much to bear
and you must fall on your knees

to let it out,

in a sigh or a cry

because being alone is part of our existence.

All the materialism,

collection of people,

obsessions and addictions

cannot replace

or mend

that space you have

opened to Spirit –

the awed-nature awareness

that says, “Hello, look at me,”

when you feel deserted or forsaken.

Allow it. Surrender.

You are not alone.

This journey is existential in nature

and its path is lighted by sacredness.
Sometimes the ache is profound and it comes
deep from Greatness
while you say,
“Let it go. Make it go away.”

Beg, plead and negotiate.
It does no justice to that space,

to the ache from the beyond.
The heart knows nothing of negotiations;
it is driven by a vast and endless force.

Tell me what drives this alienation to such intensity.
Let me hold you and help you in your need.
You don’t need to be alone–
you are not alone.

I may be able to hold your hand,

make you smile,

and when I leave

the emptiness will visit again

until you don’t feel its desperate claws.

You will sit with it and love it

as you reach the beauty in yourself.

I cannot fix this.  You don’t need anyone

to try and mend the process of your rhythm.

This ache and withdrawal goes unnoticed by others
but it is there peeking,

poking, projecting and protruding
until it surfaces again and again.

Don’t question your faith.

Forgive yourself for anything and everything.

Question You and what You need to learn from it.

Then again,
don’t question a thing.
Let it subside on its own.
Be aware of any pain,

control, the illusion of separation

and dive into the wisdom it creates.
Be thankful for it
because it means
that you are alive.

It means you are never alone.

It means….you are filled with creation!

Come to Me

I whisper to the open

beyond what eyes can see,

“Come to me,”

and a plea of surrender overwhelms

with chills,

softness,

and light

allowing that which needs support

to come through

taking into another world

the lack of control.

 

“Come to me,”

I say knowing what I know

because I understand the truth

that we are here to learn

right from wrong

in a field of hope, compassion, and faith.

 

I hear the answer whispered from Spirit,

“I am in you,

I am you,

love is all there is.”

Mystifying Riddles

falling stars

There are amazing mysteries in our universe:  the great pyramids, the Mayan calendar, the conscious mind, the cosmos, the beginning of time, the big bang theory, UFO’s, and the spiritual world whose veil is thinning with acceleration of these times.

These great mysteries aren’t meant to be solved.  They are as apparent as love out there in the world to ponder and accept.  We are constantly trying to solve the miracles of life.  But, some things aren’t meant to have specific reasoning.  Miracles happen every day.  (I, for one, thrive on them while searching for every possible sign that they are happening around me). We are born out of an extraordinary phenomenon. We survive illnesses, near-death experiences, and so many heart aches.  We come out from difficult situations and have no explanation for them…except that something larger than ourselves intervened.  This is the miracle.  The mysteries of our existence lie in the knowing that there is something so much greater than reasoning.  It is that knowing that gets us through the difficult times.  Some call it Christ, Buddha, Shiva, God, the Divine, the Great Goddess, Mother, the Holy Mother, etc.  There are millions of names and expressions for this mystery in our existence.

I have stopped looking for that which cannot be understood.  I have learned to accept things as they come.  There is no lack of anxiety or disappointment in what I want and what is.  There is no lack of worrying at times for what cannot be understood.  It is what it is.  However, what I have learned with the hard knocks of life is that in the end I have no control of what will happen.  I am always joyfully surprised with how things appear.  There is no perfect planning…only perfect timing.

Two nights ago I sat outside watching the meteor showers.  Falling or shooting stars adorned the clear night sky.  It was beautiful.  Each time I witnessed a quick one fall I would gasp.  Such quick simplicity!  It was precious.  I made a lot of wishes upon those stars.  As I went to bed I said my prayers to the greatest mystery of all…God.  We are so fortunate to be living in these times.  Each moment is a complete unsolved mystical twinkle in time.  Relish in it!  Dive into the moments with awesome-driven excitement.  The best is always yet to come.  Have a mysteriously wonderful day!

A Petition

 It is perhaps the cold wind

caressing

your skin,

chilling the spirit

as it warms your heart

in complete silence

but with an assurance

beyond the known

while few words can give gratitude

for the sky opening         clearly,

the rain falling            quickly,

 the world gently           finding

             stillness in a moment.

And in these words,

a prayer,

a petition of grace,

 is born

from the heart

                        guiding,

 completing,

a certainty

for all that cannot be seen

but felt from beyond.

It is then,

and only then,

that you feel

Divinity kiss you

in your spirit

in a way that love

was meant to be understood

and recognized.