Faith in Humanity

create

I am finishing my coffee and getting ready to head to work this morning. As I was making my way into the kitchen something powerful hit me: The words, “I am not giving up my faith in humanity.” I wasn’t even thinking about anything of importance. I began brewing my second cup of java and while standing in the middle of the kitchen the words echo once again and tears began to cloud my vision. I understand why these words link together. I am seeing so much negativity in social media…the snippets of news I hear along the day…the comments made by friends and family. I hear from one ear the necessary things and discard the rest. BUT, I am not influenced by what anger and fear have to say. I believe in the human spirit. I believe in humanity. I truly believe that things escalate when we continue to shed light into the darkness.
Think about how France and the USA are now embracing each other in ways that for years they have not done so. I remember visiting Paris years ago and not being welcomed kindly when I spoke in English…but when I switched to Spanish I was served with friendliness. Think about the amount of people these issues have touched. Think about how we are fighting one cause together. I don’t like the word “fighting” but for those who are military or completely determined to beat the shit out of someone else the word brings masculinity. I get it. Things break. Our hearts get fractured from all the violence and crimes. And then, that fracturing begins to slowly heal. Oh my God, when does it stop, right? Well, I am still NOT giving up my faith in HUMANITY. The moment we lose faith the enemy wins. That simple!
I know I am a bit naïve. Okay, maybe too naïve, but I have to believe in the core of my spirit that things happen to bring humanity back on track. We have to stop the freaking labels. We have to diminish the bigotry and racism. We are not black, white, brown, yellow or pink. We are not our religions: Christian, Jewish, Muslim or whatever. We are breathing beings trying to find our way in this planet. We are roommates trying to set boundaries on what the other person needs to feel comfortable. AND even roommates have turmoil in their living arrangements because we are all different: personalities, beliefs, culture, etc.
I am not giving up on humanity. I am going to go to work to read countless files of folks who are mentally ill, traumatized, and purely in extreme need of help. You want perspective…walk into a place that has lost hope. Walk into a village that has little water. Walk into a place that has thousands of folks living in filth. Walk into the lives of children without parents. Walk into a war zone of folks fighting all in the name of their God. It’s senseless, yes! It’s disgusting, yes! It’s truly demoralizing and it tears into your fears of what another human is capable of doing with hatred. Alienation, hatred and hostility do not disappear alone. These emotions begin to dissolve and suppress when we shine compassion and love to them. I don’t have the freaking answers to why these horrific acts of humanity happen. I don’t truly understand all the hatred. I don’t get the reason we hold on to issues without forgiving. But I have to promise my spirit that until my last breath I will not give up on humanity because I believe in us and the power of community. I believe in a higher power that brings us together. I believe in you. Together we can commit to bringing love and aid to others…not my judging or rejecting what’s happening…or criticizing another’s faith. We bring it home into our spirits by truly empathizing and realizing that what happens over there is also part of our stories. May you have a beautiful day…and may you realize that you have the power to change the world one heart at a time!

Captivating Bodhi

Sun reclaiming sky

I opened my eyes

to the darkness

of solitude.

Compassion walked in,

Truth followed,

and together they laid

warming my chill,

embracing the vastness of silence.

I began whispering to Love,

awakening my spirit

to this bewitching freedom.

They engulfed me with light,

without questions,

welcoming the morning hours

as the sun reclaimed the sky.

Finally, I breathed with ease…

this is the life

I dreamed about a zillion moments

ago

in an older version of myself.

I am home…

I am.

An Evening with Oneness

oneness

A friend invited me to attend a gathering at her place to meet the incredibly gifted writer, Rasha who wrote Oneness. I came across the book over two years ago while walking the aisles of Barnes & Noble. Searching for spiritual answers that summer, I browsed through the metaphysical area when Oneness fell off the shelves onto my feet. The Divine always works in specific ways with me and books, sending me messages from beyond.  This book has become a metaphysical bible of sorts which I return time and time again for answers.  Each time I re-read a passage something new shifts.  It is an experience to immerse in such language full of truth and wisdom.
I was delighted to be able to be in this beautiful woman’s presence. When she arrived, wearing all white, vowing her head into her palms together while whispering, “Namaste…” I felt a pull from Source. I cannot describe this in a terms that won’t sound hippie or woo-woo. I saw her energy enter with authentic truth…and love. It’s rare! It’s extremely rare to see this so clearly in strangers, especially those who label themselves as enlightened, awakened, or whatever they are selling through the process of society and materialism. This wasn’t the case. Rasha sat with a humble smile and we began to discuss her books and the journey her life took after writing Oneness. Her humanness allowed me to put my guard down.  A very shy woman who speaks in a low tone I began to feel uncomfortable. Not many people know that as of the beginning of this year I began to lose my hearing in my right ear. As of this summer I cannot hear at all. Now, this presence sat across from me, speaking ever so slowly and in a whispering tone that I felt the rush of anxiety for not being able to hear her properly.  What would I miss?  What message won’t I catch while reading her soft lips?

I asked her a question and became aware of forcing my body to be on alert to hear from my other ear while making sure I am reading facial expressions. But, something happened as she answered this important question. She stared into my eyes and my right ear popped. A sharp sound took over for a second. Then I heard everything as clearly as I have not in over nine months. It was so crisp that my eyes watered as her message truly became the foundation of truth for all that I needed to hear. I heard!  I sat there with a message of empowerment.

I did not share my hearing loss. I did not share every imaginable thought I had after that moment in the shock of sound entering this space in me. I was elated and surprised and grateful. I heard! I listened to her story and how these messages from divine wisdom are not hers but utilize Rasha (the woman) as a vessel to pass it on to others. Mesmerized by what I needed to hear, I was moved to a place of oneness and the power of healing.

“I know this”…I kept thinking. “How have I allowed for this loss of sound to go on for so long?” I know when it began. I understand the blanking out of noises that become toxic in our lives. I get the avoidance. I completely get the holistic lesson in this dizzy imbalance body that can’t find grounding because of not hearing from one ear. But, there in a place of safety and wholeness, I was able to hear The Great Mysteries of Divinity speak through this soul.  There I was whole and alive and able to comprehend even the softest and quietest of words.

The powerful thing about her books, especially Oneness, is that you have to be ready to embark in the journey. It will open you up to some major shifts. I read it six months before my near-death experience. This summer I read her other book, The Calling. Each one of her books is mystically encoded with a high vibration and frequency to push you into opening to your higher consciousness. Being in her presence I felt that message of an expanded awareness and acceptance. She is elevated and even in her human state there is definitely something of great mindfulness. She is the embodiment of all she writes. She expresses the Oneness of all we are and what we are to Source.

I have been in the presence of many who call themselves gurus, spiritual teachers, healers, facilitators, empaths and intuitives. This woman needs no label. She is living the life of humility and humbleness on a mountain in the south of India.  Her story is me, you and them.  There is no separating the body from the spirit…she has allowed herself to be of service through words.  If only!  If only we were brave enough to follow such a difficult path in a world that judges, scrutinizes and discriminates.  I applaud this soul.

I was flying high as I left downtown Asheville. I could hear all. I heard the folks talking outside the restaurant. I heard the sirens in the distance. I heard my breathing. I heard sounds that I have blocked while utilizing only one ear. I got in the car and turned on Sarah Brightman on my ipod while following the moon over the mountains until another pop took a hold of my ear and bang! All hearing was lost again. I shook my head, stuck my finger in the ear, tried to unblock it but it was too late. I covered my left ear and I couldn’t hear the music. But…but it is better than okay because something in me remembered the reason I have not been hearing until there is something of importance to remember again.

Staying in the oneness of life and truth is not easy. My few hours with Rasha did allow me to vibrate at a higher frequency. I felt a charge. I felt a surge go through me and my heart expand to all there is with love as she spoke ever so softly while pausing and inviting every sense of our presence into her world. I am grateful to my friend for the opportunity to witness this mirror image of pure love and light. I will be picking up Oneness again and re-reading it. It’s time for another journey into the great mysteries of this earth.

The Loss of What Is or Not

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Loss is inexplicable regardless if it’s through death or a falling out and misunderstanding. Loss cuts deep in the core of the heart and psyche. I’ve learned a few things about this. I have been on the giving side of losing and the receiving side of loss. Sometimes it doesn’t matter what side you are on…the pain is still there. At times I even forget who was on what side of the issue.

Words have tremendous powers. They are whips that create profound welts, feathers that mend the heart, and at times, the bullet that kills everything. Perhaps because I am overly sensitive words have an extraordinary effect that is hard to forget. However, I forgive myself for words heard and used. I am human. I make a million of mistakes. I am impatient. I am the most stubborn person I’ve ever met. I am overly positive at times that I don’t see the pitfall of things to come. I do tend to be forgetful over time. And, and I carry my heart outside of my chest exposed to all who want a piece. I lay it all out there for the taking…even when ego borrows it and damages it for a bit.

The heavy rain this weekend has poured out a bunch of emotions. It’s as if heaven is crying. It stops. It starts again. It comes down like a tantrum and then slowly reduces its energy. With it all the energy of the land it is overly charged. Rain allows for the veils of here and there to thin out. The esoteric world becomes a lining of this one in a very visible manner. I have been on an exhausting emotional roller coaster taking messages from above and beyond. There’s a conscious shift happening and I am standing on the sidelines witnessing it: for me and for others.

Loss has been the theme this weekend. We all want to be heard. We all want to be understood. We all want to believe it’s not our fault when the shit hits the fan. But, part of our lessons here is that it is our fault. It’s our fault when we participate in the drama. It’s our fault when we don’t take full responsibility for our words and our actions. It’s our fault when avoidance becomes the elephant in the room. I can take full responsibility for that one. I hate confrontations. I will go around and around to make sure that something is not in my face going off at me like a hungry tiger ready to eat me. But, I also have a default and when pushed to a corner I become the tiger without a care in the world who is there. It does, however, take a long time for me to get there.

A dear friend asked me one day why I avoid getting into an argument. I have a fairy-unicorn-happy like concept. It’s not wrong and it’s not right. It just is. My belief is that if given enough time things always subdue. If allowing for the strains to energetically tire out everything returns to harmony. Then I come to realize it isn’t always so. Sometimes…only sometimes…perhaps more than sometimes…a person needs to go off. A person needs to truly be heard. A person needs to put another in their place. The bullying and passive aggressive behavior must end. But…there are always three sides to every story: mine, yours and the truth. It’s all about perception. And, I believe loss is inevitable at times. People come into our lives for a reason and a season. Whether it’s through death or through different paths, we are always going to be connected.

I met a man in the checkout isle two days ago who had Parkinson’s disease and was here visiting from California. His wife gently guiding him to put the things on the counter, while he chit-chatted about my groceries, forced me to stop and pay attention to those things not said but seen through energy and gestures. It doesn’t matter what was said…but I realized at the moment of impact that he and I were connected forever. It’s that simple. Not one person comes into your life without a reason. Believe me when I say this. Each…Single…Person…Matters!

So…with all this great amount of water on our mountain I have had the privilege of being up for hours entertaining souls and energies who have passed on, some in my memories that will never be part of my life even though they are alive, and others who are just plain old lost in time. We want forgiveness. We want to leave a legacy. One thing that I do understand and cherish is that two things matter in our lives: love and awareness of another. We only want to know we matter. We only want to know we touched another. Say your sorry’s, your I love you’s, your sweet words of acknowledgment…now…not later. Say what needs saying even when you don’t want to tackle the truth. As time passes the truth also becomes distorted. Let it go. That crap has no business being part of your today. If it pains you then it’s time to release it. You have been given another opportunity today to live. Let Divinity do its work…forgive and love. I love you. Have a blessed Sunday.

Stopping the Drama

drama2

I woke this morning sick of my stories, the drama I repeat, and the never ending struggle to find peace among the storms that are not real but living in my little head. It’s sickening. This BEing and just allowing is not for sissies. No one said that the spiritual walk was meant to BE a brisk-cool walk in the park! It takes massive amount of discipline and I don’t follow orders very well…even when it’s from the esoteric world. So…I got up…did my meditation…had to stop right in the middle and said, “F*@k this crap! I can do this. I have manifested incredible experiences in this lifetime. I can let this go and move on without this struggle. This is my own ego creating this shit! I am more than this scene, this stage, and this production!!!”  I got up from the sofa, went outside in the cool morning, saluted the four winds and now feel like I can keep going without this intense production that hasn’t aired in any stage but mine.

We have the complete capacity and power to change our thoughts. In those moments I feel the swirl of energy directing me into joy, faith, and love. The heart opens up when I let go of the toxic stories I retell myself. I release shame, guilt and any freaking resentment that has been attached to those one-woman acts. It’s just a shift in perception. I promise.

Sitting with a friend yesterday she said, “I wish I knew what I don’t know!” It’s amazing how those words have stuck out even throughout the night. We have a knowing and certainty at times that guides us into the most amazing places. At other times the same knowing tells us that we are missing something that we should know but we cannot reach it. It’s frustrating. Our humanness battles with divinity and spiritual processing. It’s a constant battle of patience and expectation. But, when that feeling comes up I am aware I have to remember that God is in charged. I have to believe that if I follow synchronicity and make no rash decisions I will be better than okay. I keep my mantra, “Okay, God, this or better!”

Aren’t you sick of your same old stories, drama, struggles, and total bullshit (because it is just crap)? Then change the channel…tune into the mass consciousness of love…for you and the world. Get out of your head. Get out of your way…you got this! Onward and outward, darlings….take one breath at a time and move through your knowing. I like to believe wholeheartedly that mysticism is birthed in those in between moments of not knowing what I should know. It’s in those moments like this morning when I declare enough of the same insanity and drama.  I am always cradled in spirit. I see the first step onto the dark stairwell…the rest is moving through blinded faith.

Fallen Tree

A giant tree fell in the forest

while it rained last night.

It didn’t ask the other trees

for permission,

or waited to be supported

by human hands,

but cautiously landed

without disturbing,

missing everything

in its path.

Its root system now salutes the sky

and I touch what’s left

from its existence

tampering the leftover energy

it held while living among

the forest

as decay starts to take place.

There is little grounding left

to what once was upright.

You are like the tree

falling over and never

allowing anyone to help

get you up.

You don’t ask for help

while desperately tipping

into your loneliness –

a dark forest of the unknown.

I sat on the edge of the bark

trying to find the spirit

from the tree’s energy.

I thought of you.

I want to be part of the ground

that supports the earth

around you

even through torrential downpours.

I want you to lean on me

when you feel you can’t hang

to faith,

as you silently disappear

into the woods of depression.

I exited the forest

clenching hope in my hands

praying that you will find me

leaning gently against you

even if we are worlds apart

from one another.

You are not a tree living

in an isolated world.

You are a child of the Divine

rooted into the earth

and all there is to learn

will come with surrendering

to the miracle of life.

Serenity of One

Hush.  shhh!

Listen. ahhh!

Honor this moment in time.

Silence is my companion

echoing through the space

of this house.

It sits drinking light

watching the incense burn

dancing through its smoke

fluttering to the candle’s aura.

The prayer wheel turns,

round and round,

circling the world,

sending out

to the masses

wishes of hope and peace.

The fireplace crackles,

bringing warmth

throughout

and I feel the sacredness

loving me gently.

In this stillness

there is absolute

certainty

of blessings,

lessons,

being.

This presence is all there is

and I close my eyes

to go deeper,

infinitely,

profoundly,

into the abyss

of my spirit.

With each moment

of breath,

the heart gently vibrates

and I exhale

as awareness takes me

until I am cradled

in the arms of divinity

and

I

finally

become…

One.

Metaphysical Truth

metaphysics
You don’t know
what you don’t know

until the soul reaches
through the walls of wisdom
to accept and partake
in the divine alignment.
You don’t know
what you can’t decipher
as a missing link
until the veil lifts
and the universe
opens up through an eternal knowing.
You will then know
through the tapping,

retrieving,

and gathering
of past memories
exactly what you are
here to do —
live without fear,
love without expectations,

forgive all mistakes,
and
be of service to every molecule
of existence,
but before that moment
the answers will always
create more questions.