There is a profound beauty that emanates from the essence of womanhood. It is a beauty that transcends physical appearances and penetrates the depths of the soul. To be a woman is to embody the divine dance of grace and strength, gentleness and resilience, intuition and wisdom.
Within the heart of every woman lies an innate connection to the sacred. She carries within her the power to create and nurture life, a reflection of the Creator’s divine artistry. Like a vessel of love, she emanates a warmth and tenderness that can heal the deepest wounds and soothe the weary souls. In her embrace, there is solace and serenity, a sanctuary where spirits find solace.
A woman’s spirit is adorned with a tapestry of emotions, woven with threads of compassion, empathy, and love. Her intuition, a divine compass, guides her on a spiritual journey, as she navigates the ebbs and flows of life’s mysteries. In her presence, miracles unfold, for she possesses the alchemical magic to transform pain into strength, and sorrow into joy.
Yet, it is her capacity to love unconditionally that shines as her most precious jewel. She is a beacon of love, illuminating the lives of those around her with her radiant heart. Her love holds the power to mend hearts and ignite souls, bringing forth a deep sense of belonging and unity.
In this mystical existence, the beauty of being a woman transcends the physical realm, reaching into the depths of the spirit. She is a vessel of love, a channel of divine grace, and a sacred reminder of the infinite beauty that resides within each and every soul.
I am grateful to experience the beauty of the divine feminine, not just in me, but in every woman I come to mee.
I woke several times during the night. I had a desire to go outside and dance under that gorgeous light. Then I remembered we have a big bear around here that loves to get in gardens and garbage. I didn’t want to be Puerto Rican meat so I opted to do the movements indoors by candle light, my blinds open to witness that giant eye in the sky.
I asked. I prayed. I released. I centered. Not much sleep afterwards. I had too much energy moving through me.
Today be gentle with you. These retrogrades, and all other astrological changes, are playing havoc on our bodies and our mental health.
Things are coming up and out because they must. We are no longer able to hide in the shadows with the shadows.
Sometimes I feel that we are becoming less human and more vibrational beings. We are returning to Source. Those who can’t decipher the difference are experiencing major setbacks.
They aren’t setting you back. They are pushing you to break through a lifetime of programming and playing it small. We don’t know what we don’t know until we do. Allow space between the not knowing and whatever is unfolding. We are moving through some of the most intense times in our history. This pushing and pulling can be catalyst for so much change in our world. But, for now concentrate on your own pathway.
Recognize your divine invaluable worth. And if you don’t have a fellow bear to worry about get outside tonight and dance under that moon.
When someone tells you how you’ve hurt them you don’t get to tell them how to feel. They are coming from their own experience and awareness.
This is also the case when someone is sharing how they’ve hurt you.
Love them anyway you can. You won’t change how they are hurting. It takes time to undo those aches, even if it was a misunderstanding. And maybe they will never see “your side” of that story. It’s not up to you to shift their narrative.
I lost my voice during my birthday week. I’ve returned from South Florida visiting with my adult children completely exhausted and depleted. The voice began to leave when someone I adore apologized to me for things I haven’t known from years ago. In my silence I have leaned into healing, for her and for me. I realized she had been holding on to things that have caused her tremendous anxiety, guilt and shame. When I explained that I forgive her she couldn’t hear it.
We shared space with my minimal amount of voice. I pray she’s released it all. I will do all I can for her to let this go even if it’s reminding her of how important she’s in my life and in this world.
Healing has millions of versions as it moves through the journey of Forgiveness. When we are hurt it takes time to mend. And maybe it never does. Perhaps that person doesn’t belong in your life anymore. Or maybe that soul was a massive teacher for you.
I’ve hurt people. People have hurt me. We’ve hurt each other. In this life it’s a certainty that it will happen again and again. Sometimes through lack of awareness. Other times, in consciousness choice.
Be gentle with yourself. Forgive and let go. If you can’t do it now, that’s okay too. There are endless lessons in grief. Loss of any kind is inexplicable.
Time doesn’t always heal those aches. Carry what you must and let go of what you can.
Many years ago I attended a Tony Robbins seminar. It was gifted to me from a dear friend. I was in the worst financial crisis of my life, at the time. Our business had gone under. My ex and I had built a home and we were depleted. Creditors demanded their money. I was under the illusion that it was the end of everything. My fear of being homeless with six children was paralyzing me. It was absolutely one of the worst periods of my life. I was in a dark hole and I could not shake the grief/shame of the circumstances. To make matters even more interesting I had an accident months prior that erased my memories of many events from the past. I was struggling to make sense of every decision and every choice.
I questioned my purpose. I questioned my sanity. I was barely surviving.
I attended the weekend seminar (hesitantly). Tony has an ability to pump you up. He is all energy and I sure needed that. In the midst of all the exercises he mentioned that when he started his teachings and lectures he had decided that quantity didn’t matter. If one person showed up to his lectures then that was the one soul who needed it. I don’t remember much else except the feeling that I could do anything. That weekend catapult me into other amazing beliefs about myself.
That seminar was back in 2002. To this day I have kept that lesson close to my heart. If one person reads one of my posts or blogs then that’s the one who needs it. If one person is touched by my words then I have done my duty as a human to help another. You never know how you may be affecting another. You might just be the lifeboat that saves their ass that day.
We are in a society that believes that our worth is determined by how many “likes” we receive. We are obsessed with numbers and the need to be accepted. And this is not who we are. I grew up in a generation that didn’t have symbols on a screen to determine our worth.
When you compliment a person on the street, or at a store, or on the phone you might just be that one soul who has really seen him/her. You might just be the lifeline that allows them not to feel invisible. You might change their world with your acknowledgement. It’s that simple.
It only takes one person!
So…keep doing what you do. Keep showing up. Keep sharing with the world. Keep striving to be light for others. Even if it’s just one person that shines a little brighter because of you…you’ve done your job in human form. It only takes one person, darling!
I love you. I see you. I feel you. I understand. You are not alone.
Faith is not found when everything is going smoothly. Faith is witnessed when the world collides with chaos and struggles. That’s when we search for her. Often times we are angry because we feel she’s abandoned our space.
Let me share what faith looks like to me. She’s in the nights when you are crying yourself asleep because a loved one is dying near you, or when your wife has decided to walk out of your relationship, or when your child has ended up in jail. She’s in the aches and brokenness of your fears and the disappointments of your expectations. She’s in the desperation and uncertainties of life.
Faith is sitting quietly waiting on you to grab her and shake every cell inside of you to trust and let go of the situation. She is there to take over if you just let go of the control. She’s the light that gives way into darkness.
When your world comes apart and you cannot find reasons to logically make sense of anything… that is when Faith is seen and felt. That’s when she whispers through your personal beliefs, “I’m here. I have something better. I will work on this. Trust!”
Your job is to allow her to step in. But, without controlling the outcome. Without micromanaging every step of the way.
I have met many religious folks who have zero faith. They go to church every week but when their world gets rattled by hard obstacles their faith is completely absent. They live in fear and lack belief.
And then I’ve met some folks who say they don’t believe in anything. When things happen they have found something stronger than themselves to carry them through it. They say they believe in themselves. That’s also Faith.
So what is faith? It’s not religious. It’s a deep spiritual knowing that you are here to learn and evolve. It’s the opportunity to shift awareness and morph into something powerful.
We have all experienced horrific acts in our lives. We have undergone atrocities. We have overcome major obstacles. Some of you are experiencing these things right now.
What keeps you going? What’s the thing or substance that allows you to get up and keep moving through it all? I bet you have some amazing stories to share. And I also bet that Faith has a lot to do with how you overcame those challenges.
I love you! More than you can imagine, just cause you are here sharing space with me this way. I have faith in YOU!
I’ve been traveling to see a dear friend. As always, being on a plane opens me up to the ethers. I am suspended in the heavens and feel such divine connection to Gaia because I can see her from a different perspective.
On the first leg of my trip a woman sat next to me. Her energy felt so fractured. She was out of it and clearly on something. As we were taking off from Asheville she got rattled and squeezed my leg instead of the chair.
She had never flown (and she’s close to my age). It was raining and windy. I removed her hand from my leg and held it in mine. I whispered, “You are safe. I’m here with you.”
Her eyes watered. I continued to hold her hand as if she was my child for several minutes until we were up and the turbulence subsided.
She stared out the window and we didn’t speak. I closed my eyes and felt her life. I saw images. I saw the addiction, the abuse, and so much more.
It’s tricky to be in a capsule at times for me. Usually I listen to music as I fly. It closes the gap of what is and what isn’t for me. I don’t need to be feeling everyone’s life up there.
As we were landing I asked where she was headed to and she said Boston. She was starting new. It was in the silence of those moments that I could hear her even louder.
I kissed her and held her tightly as we got off. I had very little time to connect to my next flight. I gave her my card and asked her to please reach out and let me know how she was doing to which she cried.
She shook. The trip, the endless possibilities and her fear were all wrapped up with the stress of the unknown.
Here is the thing: love is a choice. It is a choice that most people don’t see as privileged true nature of our soul’s evolution.
I wanted to tell her that “the one who broke you cannot heal you.” It wasn’t my place during such a major life transformation to share this.
Love is a choice Forgiveness is a choice Letting go is a choice
And through those choices you begin to heal. You begin to regain your worth, your strength and your life.
We’ve all been there. We’ve all been shattered, fractured and put back together. We rise alone… and we rise with one another.
We are never far from shifting our lives, our perspectives, and our hearts.
Life will provide the perfect encounters to help you see your own wounding and traumas. It will help reflect your own stuff.
I am grateful for these moments that put me in a place of loving expansion. She was the perfect person to show me where I’ve been and where I am going.
How very powerful! You can lie to others, you can lie to humanity, but there is no way you can lie to your soul. It is the YOU that knows your authenticity.
Please recognize your truth, your soul’s yearning, and allow your life to be the sacred journey it’s meant to be. You are provided with daily opportunities to be the best you possible.
Several years ago when I had a motel/retreat center I got to see a lot of humanity. I witnessed thousands as they entered our doors for retreats, weddings, family reunions, and other life events. Needless to say, I learned a lot about folks by the company they shared and how they treated others. I love, love, love watching folks when they don’t know they are being watched.
I met brokenness, joyous, inspiring, loving souls. I hugged kindness, kissed truth, and loved spiritual openness. I was able to sit and hear stories from all over the world. It was my favorite thing about the place. I was able to witness the human spirit to the fullest especially when there was nothing for them to do but relax.
I got to see beyond the veil. I learned acceptance and love without judgment. I also began to open up to my own spiritual gifts. They weren’t easy times. Those days broke me in one manner and raised my consciousness in another.
That’s the thing about finding your truth and your voice: authenticity appears front and center!
Being authentic is underrated. We have been taught and programmed to run with the masses. To follow the herd. Until recently…because we are waking up and questioning everything.
My observations taught me two things that are spiritual truths: love and acceptance are the reasons we are here. We want to be acknowledged. We want to believe in Magic. We want to know that we are seen, touched and loved. Culture, gender, religion…nothing changes in this aspect. We all want to feel loved.
Go, darlings! Go be the authentic soul. Stop living for everyone else and follow your yearnings. You are the extra in the ordinary. Start acting like it.
Grief is inexplicable. It hits at its own timing. And, to be honest, it never goes away. We learn to navigate it. We learn to miss without the intense pain. We learn to live in a different manner.
When I was 23 years old I met a young man my age. We worked in the industrial power transmission field. The first day he came for an interview, right out of college, we shook hands and the electricity that passed through our hands was like nothing else I’ve ever experienced, or have felt since.
Before I could even figure out what was happening we had a tremendous love affair. I was in and out of a relationship with someone much older who was married. This young man and I connected in a way that was out of this world.
At 25 years old, after a long break up because of my other relationship, he asked me to marry him one night. I said yes. That was March 11, 1993. He was dating someone else, and I was still in that relationship. We both broke it off that weekend. On the way back from breaking up with his girlfriend he hit a wall on I95 on March 14th. They found him with a small English/Spanish book in his hands.
This loss shut me down. It took my light with it. It would take years to understand. But, something happened shortly after his death. He began to show up in dreams. I wasn’t as spiritually aware as I am now, but I would feel him all the time.
Whenever I am struggling I find a dime and a penny. $.11 was something we would find together. Those close to me marvel at the fact that this happens often. There will be a dime and then a few inches later, a penny. He has been around for almost 30 years and has guided me in ways I cannot explain.
But grief, that old friend that reminds us of love, can sometimes get the best of us. This morning I opened up my kitchen cabinet to get my coffee mug and in a cup I rarely use was a dime and a penny. I don’t even ask anymore how this happens. Maybe the kids did it long ago. I don’t know. I know I was supposed to find it at 4:44 this morning. That’s how guidance works.
We are always held by deceased loved ones. ALWAYS. I often forget to call out to ancestors. Rarely do I forget to call out for him. He has been my steady companion for decades. And, I know we will one day be reunited.
Your grief is not meant to be suppressed. It isn’t meant to be bulldozed. It’s a reminder that you loved. That you were loved. That you lived. That you had someone who loved you. It doesn’t matter if it’s a parent, a child, a lover, a fur baby, or whatever. Sometimes we mourn places and things.
You are loved. You are here. And, I promise you that you will always come out with grace on the other side.
That’s the word of this week since my book came out. I have been sent photos of friends holding my book, Erasable. I have had endless text messages about how the book made them feel. I have had an outpour of love beyond what I can ever wrap my head and heart around.
I don’t know much about how it is received by strangers. But, I do know one thing for certain: it’s a book about overcoming tremendous challenges. It’s a story similar to yours. It’s you in many ways. Take whatever resonates.
We read books, watch movies, and listen to others tell stories because we want to feel seen, understood, and accepted. Mine is no different.
I have been asked about the foreword. My dear friend, Rebecca Saltman, was kind enough to write it. She introduced me to the publishers when I contributed a chapter in her and Jade Redher’s anthology, U Empath You, back at the beginning of the year.
When I was in a moment of getting ready to pull the entire project and close shop, my publisher suggested I let Rebecca read the book. Only three other people had read this book before (many years ago): Angelica Pizano, Michael Thomas, and a professor in Durham, North Carolina, who mutilated the first draft (so much so that I hid the manuscript for almost 3 years in a desk drawer). But, he did me a favor because it was the exact healing I needed from this memoir. I had not come to terms with loss, rape, grief, heartache, and all the delicious joy that has come from this incredible life. I am blessed to have this life, the children who call me Mom, and the folks who raise me up to believe in myself… daily!
The professor was kind enough to show me that I still had to shift the voice. My first draft was written in stream of consciousness because I wrote it right after I lost my memory… and it was the only voice I had available. It read as if you were in my head and many times it was lost in translation.
So, Rebecca sat and read the pdf, pulling me from the doubts and insecurities. She had a stern talk with me, basically letting me know to put on my big girl panties on and move through the publishing process. I cannot imagine having anyone do the foreword as she knows the process of writing and publishing. Her foreword is a love letter of sorts as she retells the story of how her deceased father, Jack, came to me on one of our first conversations back in the summer of 2021.
I am beyond grateful for the love and support, not just from those who know me, but many who are reading this story. I have had friends from years ago reach out asking why I hadn’t shared the tidbits of my life. Why I never told them of my accidents?
I live forward. I don’t live back there. The story isn’t about survival. The story is about thriving even in the midst of turmoil. It’s about you. You taking every step with faith and a certainty that no matter what happens in your life you have the will and choice to make it through. You are invincible… not invisible. You matter. You aren’t erasable even when you feel unseen. And, if you aren’t feeling it then please look around and see what needs shifting in your life.
Thank you for the messages, emails, texts and phone calls. I had so many reservations about my story for two decades. I also knew that in order to be really honest I needed to put away any expectations of how it would be received. In the end, Erasable has healed the inner wounds that had me imprisoned for so long. It has lightened my heart with massive release and forgiveness. I feel free for once in this lifetime. I am stepping into a divine journey of self-love and acceptance.
About a year and a half ago I had lunch with a wonderful author in Asheville. He was staying in the area for a month and luckily we were able to meet. I have loved and admired him for a very long time on social media. Sitting across from him I told him that his book shifted my perspective immensely.
He asked, “How so?”
I shared that the underwear chapter was a big AHA moment. To which he laughed. (I am sure he thought I was nuts but he appreciated my candor).
In this chapter he wrote that as he was sitting that day to write, his underwear bothered him. He realized he had allowed so many things in his life to bother him. Underwear shouldn’t be one of them. (I am paraphrasing). So he wrote that he stopped the process of writing, went and took off his underwear and threw them out.
I read that chapter and closed the book. I felt like someone had given me permission to release things that didn’t feel good on my body. I got up and went through my drawers. I threw away a lot of underwear and bras. Then I tackled my closet. Anything that didn’t feel good was going out. I must’ve spent a week going through all my things asking myself if it felt good. A bunch of jewelry, towels, sheets, you name it. I had already begun the process of releasing toxicity out of my life. This was just another level.
A few days later I was in the kitchen getting my mug for coffee when I realized I had too many I didn’t like. I have a thing about coffee mugs. I like them big and wide and able to not be super hot when I put them in the microwave. I hadn’t realized how many I owned that didn’t fit that category. I began to see the way I allowed so many things around me to dictate how I felt. Everything is an extension of us.
So, here I was sitting in front of this delicious soul (while he giggled) sharing about the underwear chapter.
He said, “Life is too short to be wearing underwear that crawls up your ass!”
The reality is that life is too short to be putting up with things, experiences, people, and places that make us uncomfortable. Anything that displeases us needs a resolution. And, unfortunately sometimes you need permission to see that it is okay to purge. I know I did! I got it from a book and a man I had no idea I would be meeting in person some day.
It’s a new chapter, beginning and year. What is holding you hostage with discomfort? Get rid of it. If it is crawling up your ass (figuratively or literally) let it go. We ain’t got time for that!