The Victim Mode

As humans we aren’t exempt from brokenness and deep wounds. It’s how the light gets in. I don’t believe we are victims. The victim mind isn’t one I associate myself with at all…anymore. Every act leads to a reaction which follows by growth.

Some folks stay in victim/martyr mode. It works for them because they get attention. They get what they need. I used to be led by my circumstances, telling and retelling of stories that no longer served me. I don’t know how or why, but a part of me needed to be acknowledged for those experiences.

When traumas come up, whether through dreams or real life, I sit with them. I now recognize them. I also send them off their way. I visit for as long as they need attention. Those events and obstacles happened to get where I am now. Had I not experienced them I wouldn’t be who I am today. That may be a good or bad thing. It doesn’t matter. It’s still part of the formation of my human ego/personality.

I choose not to live in those crevices or soft reminders. I choose to rise and keep learning. I choose to forgive myself (and whoever else) for the participation. I choose to thank God (and them) for the amazing roles. This doesn’t mean the act is ignored. It doesn’t mean it never happened. It only means that I am not a victim of my past. I am also not a survivor. I am a human being on a journey of self-empowerment. I choose to stay in this excursion through love. I choose love over anything else.  When those memories, dreams, or events re-appear I now have the ability to detach from the pain and look at them as blessings. Every step, corner, edge, and mishap molded me in just the perfect way to open me consciously.

You and I have the capacity for greatness. The only way to move forward is to accept, detect and reject the things that have happened.  If you are living in regrets and resentments you aren’t ready to move into the next level of greatness. You are still in victim mode. If you keep blaming others for who and what you’ve become, you are still in martyr and victim mode. You are the only one who can change that role. Stop giving the pen for others to write YOUR story. Stop being ashamed of what brought you here. Stop allowing the past to dictate your present and future.  Every fear and disappointment adds to the level of your health. Do you want to be sick or do you want to be free? Forgive and let go. Don’t keep holding on to things that cannot be changed. 
 
Get out there and recognize your worth. Every single moment gives you an opportunity to do better, be better, and create better for yourself. No one is a victim. Traumas are part of the darkness that gives duality to our world. Without those experiences we would never know how amazing things can be. There is a balance available to us at all times. Choose love. Choose the ultimate love for yourself and move out of those old beliefs, undeserving paradigms and stay in the highest frequency of all.  
It isn’t enough that I let go of my own past. It requires the collective to do the same so we can shift the consciousness around the world. We are coming into some incredibly delicious times. Join me in healing. We can do it together.
 
I love you.
Advertisements

Message in Meditation

Trust is an emotional mechanism that was placed in our DNA when we began creation. The collective and society, through fear and other low vibrational frequencies, have caused it to downgrade. We question it. We don’t use it as we should. There is a default programming in its place. So we no longer just trust. We struggle with it. We have been shown over and over that it isn’t a means to survive. We don’t trust or allow for intuition to guide us.

When we return to our origins, through love, Trust will be the first input to be upgraded again. It is still in our DNA. It’s been muted. It’s been centuries of misuse and abuse. It is about to return as our guidance. Soon! We are being awakened slowly. It was designed to be right now in this time.

Humanity needed to experience all that it has endured. We are a stubborn race. We have more followers than leaders. And the leaders have guided through manipulation of fear and repression. They know how to play the part. The followers have also played their role. The imbalance is soon to tip the scales.

Trust will return with ascension. It will be intuitively available to guide us again. It is our internal GPS. Those who are ready will begin to feel it in their solar plexus and use it to create a new world. You are experienced the massive amount of energy at this time. Many will not question what the masses are leading. And in this trust we will once again become whole as one. There will be millions not ready to awake. It’s not your job to provide the push for them. Those are their lessons and contracts before coming into this incarnation. Your only job is to love and show love through your own journey. People don’t learn through words. They evolve through experiences. They see and imitate what feels good.

Don’t judge. Don’t manipulate. Don’t enforce your beliefs. Don’t attack. Don’t hate. Don’t do anything to force another to think as you do.

Love…over and over… is the key to open all the unlocked passages in humanity. Forgiveness heals through love. Trust opens because of love. We change and expand because of love. When in doubt just love. Accept it as the answer to all there is and all there ever was.

Our Spiritual Truth

The source of divine guidance is ever present waiting patiently for us to remember of our power within. Once we open up to it, accepting there is no outer power separate from the self, it all starts to materialize.

We hold our world. We get to mold our lives. We cannot blame anyone else for fully participating in our creation.

Spiritual truth is acceptance of our decisions. It is knowing and believing that we are creators.

I’m seeing the miracles in that place full of clarity and knowing. It is the multiverse energy of truth. It’s the Christ Consciousness. It’s the Buddha mind. It is all that we’ve been taught to be without the dogma. It is all in us. It’s all that we were created to be.

Open up to it. Allow for it. Remember your power comes from within. You are not without anything. You are the greatest alchemist.

You want to know your superpower?

It’s love. It’s all about compassion, acceptance and love.

We use terminology that seems puzzling, like matrix or ascension when we talk about spiritual awakening. It’s not that difficult. There is part physics but the rest is who we are. The words are designed to trigger a memory, an emotion, that opens us up. It allows consciousness to expand and we vibrate into truth. The words we use also give power to what we create. Every syllable is magnetic. It attracts everything we want and need.

We are designed to grow and evolve into these human bodies. We are having a human experience while returning to our source of divine spirit. We come in through consciousness of pure love and leave via the same manner to become the heart of the collective. To be the All of Truth. To be the source of divinity and transpire into deeper love.

I love you.

Expansion of Consciousness

I am grateful. Every cell in my body feels the honor and privilege of being here. I have a charming life. Even when there are obstacles and challenges I know I have a wonderful life.

I have a sweet meditation room. It’s a large closet in our new house that I converted into my sacred space. It’s a portal of sorts. Every time I sit to meditate I leave through its openings. I go off into other worlds. When I return to my body I recognize the gift that my life is. I become even more grateful. I make my daily intentions before getting up from the floor, right when I am blowing out my candles.

“Make me an instrument of your love, God. Show me how I need to serve….”

This morning was no exemption at 4am. The worlds opened up for me. I saw the universe. I visited the deep places in my consciousness that allow for healing work through me and out into the world. It’s magnificent.

It’s magical and mystical and…oh…so very yummilicious.

I work in the mental health profession and if folks hear me express all the “visions” I have I might be institutionalized. Because…we are a race consumed by fear. We must label everything. We must make sense of what we aren’t accustomed to experience ourselves.

I cannot help anyone if I don’t help myself with love. I cannot hear, feel, or touch the heart of another if I don’t live it through me.

For decades I went around like a lunatic trying to fix everyone. I needed to have focused on me first. When I finally dealt with my own darkness I was able to help light others.

Compassion is a gene that needs to be expanded at all times. It always starts with our own healing. It’s a light always available to shine all around us. It’s in the smallest of acts.

That’s why I wake at the hour that I do daily and go off into my other realms. I am a better spiritual being navigating this human experience.

Sending out abundance of love into the world today. I feel you. I love you.

Sacred Expansion

I’ve come into my own silence, sacredness, expansion. I’ve visited with those things that required attention and I kept locking them in a chest. I’ve dealt with them one soul consultation at a time making sure to find closure. During meditation I’ve allowed the locked chest to open and I have visited with each fear and past event.

This is what I’ve done since I got off social media (Facebook and Instagram) two weeks ago. Plus I’ve read several amazing books. I’ve caught up with friends. I’ve taken time to be without chit chat or worries. I’ve come into my own space of love.

I’ve lived without interruptions. I’ve noticed how much more time I’ve accumulated.

It’s bizarre to acknowledge that I have been distracted by everyone else’s life so profoundly while disregarding mine. Meanwhile, I’ve navigated one of the busiest years in a decade. One that has brought sweet surprises while gaining a tremendous respect for my faith in humanity.

Magic…is all I can say. It’s been a magical experience.

My writing feels deeper too. My voice is not constricted. I am able to say and feel and share for me. Because when I write it is a channeling of sorts from my spirit to my humanness. The spiritual aspects of my incarnation sit with the human aspects and shared I’ve come into my own silence, sacredness, expansion. I’ve visited with those things that required attention and I kept locking them in a chest. I’ve dealt with them one soul consultation at a time making sure to find closure. During meditation I’ve allowed the chest to open and I have visited with each fear and past event.

Taking time for me and my family is imperative. It’s in the small acts. Nothing big. My life has not changed drastically by not being on social media. It’s just relaxed. I don’t pick up the phone in the middle of the night to read about others. I lay there and listen to the silence. I force myself to sleep again. I reach over to my husband for warmth. During the day I don’t impulsively check to see what’s happening, who can I help, what can I do? My concerns and interests consist of my own life and those in my inner circle.

This was the 80’s and 90’s. This is how I remember my younger years before internet. And, yes we are connected on a grand scale, able to touch millions. But we are also slaved to that connection, addicted to news and changes.

It’s truly a love-hate relationship for me. As a writer it is a conundrum. The world doesn’t stop because I am not available. It’s lovely to feel it. Life doesn’t cease to exist because I don’t participate in every conversation or answer every message or return every call.

All of it can wait till I return next year. Whenever I do return to the chaotic world of social media I can quickly shut it off. With each passing week I am aware of the massive peace my empathetic body feels. This is my Christmas gift to myself. And detaching is absolutely mystical.

Slow down, darlings! Be present in your life and with your loved ones. Everything else can wait. You don’t have to participate in every single thing every day. Allow the holidays to be a time of gentleness, love and awareness. Give attention to you.

I love you.

You Must Release the Shame

Come close. Sit for a second and let me share a story…

I held a giant amount of guilt and resentment for over 20 years. It wasn’t something I thought about daily but it would show its ugly head every so often. The trauma was molded to my worth. It would visit and linger and poke in a way that I felt my breath leave me, especially in the middle of the night. In the last few years I needed to release it. And back in February I did.

I met with this amazing woman…a true soul sister…and apologized. We had something in common. We had both been with the same man for 18 years, and in between those years there were years that overlapped. She didn’t know it. I was also told a different story. We co-inhabited with a man who fed on our lack of self worth. We handed him the right to place a price tag on our souls.

I was young, stupid, and foolish. I was naive. I was in my twenties with two little boys while needing a father figure as he was 18 years my senior. He was a master manipulator, the poster child for narcissism. We believed him. I loved him. She did too. But, what happens when you grow into yourself and the shame is still lurking? You must find a way to shred it, surrender the yuckiness, and forgive yourself for mistakes.

We are human. We are imperfect. We are entitled to screwing up and growing. We are given the extraordinary beauty of falling miserably and rising to greatness.

You must enter the discomfort and allow the healing to begin. You must acknowledge your part in the stories and own the lessons. You have to allow for the truth to come out of every pore of your being. That’s when light comes in and you are recreated.

Guess how that happens! It happens through love. It happens through total release of culpability. It appears through the total abandonment of monsters in closets. You open the door and let them go free. Those suckers need release. They need light to vanish.

I own every part of the stories: the ugly and disgraceful; the lovely and magical; the ridiculous and careless; the spirituality and the human. I own it because it brought me here to this very moment of midlife with a giant exposure of truth. It allowed me to fall in love again with someone who could love me back for the real me.

Once we met at a retreat, we spent four days with one another. We spoke truth and opened up all the lies. She forgave me for being with her husband while they were still married. She also gave me permission to let that shit go. I gave her permission to forgive him for all the atrocities he created in both our lives. We held one another, hands intertwined, walking on the beach. We cried. We shared in disbelief the stories of two young women wrapped in the web of deception with a cunning Machista.

What happened after that gathering was pure ecstatic. I found myself. I dug into places of me that I didn’t know were available or even existed in my perception. The truth of it all shook my core belief. My imperfections were embraced by her which allowed for me to accept in me. I fell in love with this woman who shared similarities, not just our children but a man we once loved with ferocity. He had a type and we saw it while laughing, communing, speaking and crying.

I ask that you let the shit go. Whatever is in you that is breaking you needs release. You might not get a chance to say it to another so allow yourself the surrendering to divinity. Truly let it all go.

And start loving all the parts that have made you whole…because you are precious and loving. Fly, darling! ~m.a.p.

What I Can Offer

I often wonder what I can offer someone in their journey. What kind of business can I create that allows another soul something special from me? There are thousands of healers. Millions of them trying to help others, many getting paid for their uniqueness.

What can I offer you that you cannot get somewhere else?

This is where we get stuck! The labels of worth. The doubts of what we are with a price. It’s always tricky.

What makes me any better than all those amazing coaches and intuitive out there? What is my calling or niche or specialty?

It’s rawness. It’s openness. It’s vulnerability. It’s knowing that I am not judging you because of your humanness.

Lately these are the questions that arise in my meditation practice. These are the thoughts I am putting out into the higher realms. I get the sweet answer within my chest vibrating with a giddy knowing. It’s lovely to feel and yet no definite answer except, “Trust in yourself!”

I can offer love. And so can others. I can sit and hear your story. Many can do the same. I can hold space for your trauma and pain. I know so many who are amazing at it too.

So what separates me from anyone? I can hear your story and help you rewrite parts that you are too close to notice. I can show you how old beliefs no longer help with creating new chapters. I can tend to your words and provide sacredness. I can hold your heart in a way that you start to recognize the love you have been gifted in this world. You begin to remember what you’ve forgotten.

I feel it. I am holding on to a thousand stories that are similar to yours. And this I know I can do. I can help you map out your goals and show you how you hold the compass to your future. You have the answers. I will be there to help you navigate.

I’m working with a fabulous woman who is helping me set up a professional website and move through the unknowns. I ask that you stay tune and I will be here waiting on whatever shows up… I will be here to help you in whatever way that may be.

Until then… I love you. I love you with the love you deeply deserve. We will work together. Soon.

~m.a.p.