Our Story

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This story,

yours and mine,

touches me in the middle of the night

as I long to reach under the warmth

through the

miles of blankets and pillows

to feel your fingertips rubbing mine.

Between the snores, movements,

and exasperation of the room

I lay still

hearing your heart beat against

the fullness of silence

engulfing me with your past stories,

dancing with your present words,

desiring a moment of exhale

where you can be free from the traumas.

I think I loved you before we ever met.

I think I will love you even after this….

I Melt with You

The sound of your voice

carries magical gifts

that chill my nerve endings,

erecting every particle

and I dissolve within seconds

of each syllable released.

 

I shiver,

dancing to a mystery

of what will be

sometime,

somewhere,

somehow,

as you look deep within me.

 

I melt with each thought

of you,

diffusing in your hands

as they

trace,

create,

explore

the corners of my flesh.

 

I dance to your eyes,

as they search for my truth,

my releases and secrets,

waiting for permission

to kiss,

absorb,

extract,

love all of me

as you take nectar

from my spirit.

 

In the end

it is the journey of silence,

smiles,

and gestures

that bring me back

to being infinite

with you…

intertwine in me.

World of Love

There,

beyond the doubt

exists a you

ready to live in freedom.

Stand on the edge,

take a deep breath

and jump.

The unknown will catch you

and Spirit will

provide wings

so you can soar

over all the fear

manifested

without the allowance

of Divinity to move you.

And over there…

beyond the horizon

is the world

of Love

ready to embrace you

forever

without the restrictions:

“I can’t,”

“I don’t,”

“I won’t”….

Knight of Nights

knight

I wake to arms

wrapping me,

gathering thoughts

of where I am,

who I am,

and what day this is.

I hold back,

tightly,

as if the wind would

swift me

away

and I no longer had

the grounding of you

shielding me from the world.

The heat from the bed

penetrates

silently

draping us both,

whispering

little secrets from our travels.

This is the way

every morning should be welcomed:

in the arms of a knight

illuminating light

into my spirit.

A Date

I would like to make a date

to kiss you,

to inhale your smile,

and swallow your laughter.

I want an invitation

to travel from your head

down to your feet

in some utter delight

using you as

the vehicle

to come and go.

 

I wish for a rendezvous

to whisper

in the darkness

and the light

in those moments

when I stare into your eyes

as they flutter to my knowing.

 

I want a date to give

and take

and be again

in the euphoria

of our union

because true love stories

never end.

Elysium

You ask how I feel

whenever I reach that point

of loosing myself,

forgetting who I am,

in some sort of amnesia

traveling some place far away.

 

I cannot answer.

There are few words

that can paint the landscape

when I go on this journey

through an expanse tour of spirit.

 

In a moment of rapture

I find the path back home

picking up the bread crumbs

I left for my return

but when I get there,

just as I open up the door

to heaven,

I get pulled right back to you.

 

Euphoria is like that…

some blissful moment in time

of forgetting impatience,

tolerating mistakes,

and hungering for peace

in a few seconds

when the heart and mind

find each other in

a balanced equality

embraced by mysticism.

 

Let me come and go

in those moments

of yes and no,

of highs and lows,

and let me find

my return home

without the questions,

or the interrogations,

or the suggestions…

 

let me find myself

within myself

and let me embrace

the freedom of my soul.

Collection of Moments

intimacy

As I sat, listening

to your words,

following gestures –

lines connecting,

detaching, intersecting,

circling all around you

passionately expressing

details of where you’ve been

in such joyous promptitude

I wondered how it felt

to be you.

 

How do the stories,

words, and thoughts

file inside the memory

of such a gentle soul?

How amazing to carry

those moments,

retracting them

at a push of a thought.

 

Each of us remain connected

by an action,

a lapse in time,

a twinkling pace

causing a scene for

later viewing

alone in personal time

full of tears or giggles.

 

Your smile paused

the very thought of me

noticing the attentiveness.

In such erratic tone,

the seconds lasted an eternity

when you leaned in,

closed your eyes,

kissed me for the first time

and my moment

was quickly filed under “Love.”

Drifters

drifting

I inched my way

through covers and barriers

to borrow your warmth,

smell your hair,

feel your skin,

to wrap you around

the rawness of me

as a life jacket,

captivated by the desire

of keeping me hostage

in the prison of your arms.

And,

in the darkness,

rain gently hitting the window,

the wind guiding us afloat,

sparks of electricity

charged and brought

us back to the origin

of you,

me,

as we sailed through

the ocean of us.

Being a Mother

motherhood

Okay, folks, I am going to go out on a limb of vulnerability and hope to not fall too hard for this post. This is not a subject I openly discuss with people. It’s motherhood! The other day I was asked by someone who learned I have 7 kids, “Why do you have so many kids? Are they all from the same father?” I find this super intrusive and I always marvel at the curiosity so I gave an honest answer to the second question: “No…some of the fathers I have no clue who they are.” Because honestly if you are that arrogant to ask stupid questions I will screw with you in my truth.

I came from a Hispanic community. Everyone has children. That’s what we do. It’s normal to us. We get married (or not in these times) and have children. We become professional mothers. We begin to mother even other people’s kids in the neighborhood. At least this is true for me.

Once I moved to the mountains I have met many people who have no children or have little desire to have them. It’s an observation not a judgment. I don’t think everyone should be parents or have to conform to social pressures. We should learn to mother ourselves first. I tell my children when they discuss having kids this: “Okay, get a plant. See how it survives for 6 months in your care. Then get a fish. See how it survives in your care while the plant is still alive. Then get a cat. See how it survives in your care and how the plant is doing with it and most importantly if the fish is still alive. Then …then get a dog….” You get the picture. Not everyone should be a parent. Not everyone needs to be one. But, the questions I get asked about my children are a little disturbing. “Why did you adopt? Are ALL your kids adopted?” Let me explain, all my kids are MY kids. They didn’t all come from my uterus but they all came from my heart. End of conversation! If you are that ignorant and selfish to not understand I am not here to mother you through that answer!

I am certain that if I didn’t have kids I would have a house full of animals. I would be housing every lost soul out there. So…it’s not kids that I am so much attracted to as the need to love and give love. I have enjoyed my children immensely. They have been my finest teachers in life. I have grown up with them. I have struggled with them and because of them. I have placed my heart in their hands and received gifts beyond words.

The assumption that I collect children is asinine. I collect nothing. I am a human being nurturing those who need it. I do it with friends. I have done it with relationships. I do it with strangers. “Mother” is not my label. It is an act of love and kindness and compassion. So…to those who have this constant need to figure out how to fix me (because apparently having these many kids is wrong) please go fix yourself. I am perfectly happy navigating this life selflessly in the arms of another who needs it. And, if I have to continue to do it then it’s my choice and I will forever be grateful for the opportunity to be placed in the heart of a child.

Meridian

ocean of space

I wake kissing your words
with desire
hoping to always
remain here
while licking your heartfelt
love each morning
we are together.
I run fingers through
the meridian lines of
energy intercepting,
provoking and enticing You
to gather me up,
fold me and put me
into that place of heaven
only you know how to do.